Love this podcast and will check out this book. However, I reject Ward’s assumption that “any woman” knows enough by now to reject heterosexuality. That’s a view that percolates within the privileged spaces created by the Academy, not from the front lines of poverty, violence, child marriage, coercion, trauma, and abuse that so many girls and women experience. More women in America live on these front lines than in a place allowing space for deep thinking and analysis of heteronormative models. Agree with her on the rest - as a queer woman of a certain age, I wonder why so many of my friends put up with the daily acrimony of heterosexuality. My single and lesbian pals are so much more peaceful.
“ if we held straight couples to basic standards of good friendship—mutual respect and affection and a sense of comfort and bondedness based on shared experience—many straight relationships would fail the test.”
Begged my husband for just crumbs of this for years. I’m still trying to understand why he wouldn’t give me even the smallest bit of friendship, kindness or even civility until I told him w was done. Reading Matthew Fray has helped somewhat. But even Fray hasn’t fully explained this as yet (perhaps he’s still uncovering his truth. He is the one who led me to Zawn and Liz Lenz etc).
Lyz, another great get in a season of great gets. ToH had been mid-list on my To Read chores, and your recommendation some time ago pushed it up closer to the top. Why did I wait so long? Ward writes with a clarity not often found in academic publications, and the themes could not be more urgently in need of scrutiny by all parties. After listening to this interview, I'm inspired to read it again... and begin clearing space for her next book. Mahalo!
Thanks for providing this. I read the transcript. It's very interesting, and certainly food for thought.
I'm sure the heterosexual men and marriages she describes reflect reality for millions - perhaps the vast majority. It reads a little bit like "Earth 2" to me - not part of my personal experience - or, I think, that of most of my (hetero) married friends. I suppose that in some of those marriages, people could be living fake lives of quiet desperation. Doesn't feel like it to me, or look like it from the outside.
Love this podcast and will check out this book. However, I reject Ward’s assumption that “any woman” knows enough by now to reject heterosexuality. That’s a view that percolates within the privileged spaces created by the Academy, not from the front lines of poverty, violence, child marriage, coercion, trauma, and abuse that so many girls and women experience. More women in America live on these front lines than in a place allowing space for deep thinking and analysis of heteronormative models. Agree with her on the rest - as a queer woman of a certain age, I wonder why so many of my friends put up with the daily acrimony of heterosexuality. My single and lesbian pals are so much more peaceful.
Jane’s book is like a come-to-Jesus moment. She left no stones unturned.
The former editor od Scientific American is a fan of yours, Lyz — https://bsky.app/profile/laurahelmuth.bsky.social/post/3lbhix3iywc2a
Dingii of the week: Joe and Mika
“ if we held straight couples to basic standards of good friendship—mutual respect and affection and a sense of comfort and bondedness based on shared experience—many straight relationships would fail the test.”
Begged my husband for just crumbs of this for years. I’m still trying to understand why he wouldn’t give me even the smallest bit of friendship, kindness or even civility until I told him w was done. Reading Matthew Fray has helped somewhat. But even Fray hasn’t fully explained this as yet (perhaps he’s still uncovering his truth. He is the one who led me to Zawn and Liz Lenz etc).
Lyz, another great get in a season of great gets. ToH had been mid-list on my To Read chores, and your recommendation some time ago pushed it up closer to the top. Why did I wait so long? Ward writes with a clarity not often found in academic publications, and the themes could not be more urgently in need of scrutiny by all parties. After listening to this interview, I'm inspired to read it again... and begin clearing space for her next book. Mahalo!
Such a great interview! Thank you!! signed - a recovering misogynist & aspiring feminist
Thanks for providing this. I read the transcript. It's very interesting, and certainly food for thought.
I'm sure the heterosexual men and marriages she describes reflect reality for millions - perhaps the vast majority. It reads a little bit like "Earth 2" to me - not part of my personal experience - or, I think, that of most of my (hetero) married friends. I suppose that in some of those marriages, people could be living fake lives of quiet desperation. Doesn't feel like it to me, or look like it from the outside.
Would you ever consider providing transcripts for the podcasts. I'm a much faster reader than I am a listener.
I'll hang up and listen. ;)
There is a transcript button up at the top near the "heart" icon. But it's AI generated.
Thx. It was done fairly well (he says without comparing it to the source audio).
Am now going to look for an Eastern Iowa/ Corridor organization of feminist men...unless you happen to know of any currently accepting new members?
Not my particular mission field. But if you find one or make one, let me know! Best of luck!