Great episode. I love when she addresses the divorce issue, which I haven't heard her do in prior interviews. I also appreciate that she's working on studies that she can cite AND that she's been testifying in family law litigation regarding these issues (presumably on behalf of women who either gave up their jobs or who down-sized their career once having kids). My only issue with the Fair Play method is how it is all *once again* on a woman to introduce it, and to do so a certain way, not aggressively but not lightly b/c she want's it to be taken seriously, to educate her partner around it, again, tone policing herself the whole way, to follow up with it, to re-educate, etc..., all while likely she is already extremely resentful that she needs to do any of this and that she's been living this way, likely for years, while her partner *looks around* and sees no issues. I don't know how to get around that problem with the method. Hey, woman, if you want to put in even MORE work, here's something that might work after you babysit your partner through it and hope he agrees with you. I'm not sure there is any good answer other than men realizing they truly need to up their games and educate themselves about what true partnership actually means.
Thanks for featuring Eve! After listening to this episode, I checked out the audiobook and played it during our drive back to Illinois for Christmas (my folks are 4.5 hours away, my in-laws are an additional 1.5 past that ... plenty of listening time). It was very funny listening to the opening knowing that everyone thinks Eve ended up getting divorced and finding out that my husband was 100% expecting to hear that, too. He kept his mind open and gave some positive feedback afterwards and we have the cards shortly, but even before we've played, I find myself thinking with sheer delight "I never have to do yardwork again," because that is absolutely something he does on occasion and I only ever do with resentment. But now I don't have to. It's his card :D
I think this is where I heard the following quote but I listen to a lot of female-empowerment podcasts so I apologize if I mislead or misquote anyone, but I can't get over -- in a good way -- this line:
"If you're willing to take pride in wiping asses and doing dishes, then I'm glad to use that time to improve my golf game."
Even when I lived by myself, I was pretty into cleaning, and I've long realized that it's a mix of nature, nurture, and control issues, and I've been pulling back a little bit -- and to keep myself on the path of not being a domestic drudge, I want to write this quote on index cards and stick it on the front of every cabinet/cupboard that holds cleaning supplies.
Great episode. I love when she addresses the divorce issue, which I haven't heard her do in prior interviews. I also appreciate that she's working on studies that she can cite AND that she's been testifying in family law litigation regarding these issues (presumably on behalf of women who either gave up their jobs or who down-sized their career once having kids). My only issue with the Fair Play method is how it is all *once again* on a woman to introduce it, and to do so a certain way, not aggressively but not lightly b/c she want's it to be taken seriously, to educate her partner around it, again, tone policing herself the whole way, to follow up with it, to re-educate, etc..., all while likely she is already extremely resentful that she needs to do any of this and that she's been living this way, likely for years, while her partner *looks around* and sees no issues. I don't know how to get around that problem with the method. Hey, woman, if you want to put in even MORE work, here's something that might work after you babysit your partner through it and hope he agrees with you. I'm not sure there is any good answer other than men realizing they truly need to up their games and educate themselves about what true partnership actually means.
Ugh yes those anecdotes about testifying were just (chef's kiss).
Thanks for featuring Eve! After listening to this episode, I checked out the audiobook and played it during our drive back to Illinois for Christmas (my folks are 4.5 hours away, my in-laws are an additional 1.5 past that ... plenty of listening time). It was very funny listening to the opening knowing that everyone thinks Eve ended up getting divorced and finding out that my husband was 100% expecting to hear that, too. He kept his mind open and gave some positive feedback afterwards and we have the cards shortly, but even before we've played, I find myself thinking with sheer delight "I never have to do yardwork again," because that is absolutely something he does on occasion and I only ever do with resentment. But now I don't have to. It's his card :D
I think this is where I heard the following quote but I listen to a lot of female-empowerment podcasts so I apologize if I mislead or misquote anyone, but I can't get over -- in a good way -- this line:
"If you're willing to take pride in wiping asses and doing dishes, then I'm glad to use that time to improve my golf game."
Even when I lived by myself, I was pretty into cleaning, and I've long realized that it's a mix of nature, nurture, and control issues, and I've been pulling back a little bit -- and to keep myself on the path of not being a domestic drudge, I want to write this quote on index cards and stick it on the front of every cabinet/cupboard that holds cleaning supplies.