“And her brother, too, has wondered out loud when he can start lifting weights ‘like a girl.’ “ Thank you, Lyz. I am in tears. I want this so badly for myself and for those I love.
He's furious that I won't let him lift heavy with me. I told him he has to start with body weight exercises like the rest of us. And then, maybe one day, he can be big and strong like a girl.
I am sure that my mother said nice things to me and didn't denigrate my body regularly. She has been dead for almost 40 years so I don't really remember. However, when I was 13, she said "you have glasses and braces....for God's sake, please stop eating so much". That was almost 50 years ago and I obviously still remember.
I HIGHLY recommend the LIFTOFF program. It is well designed, easy to follow, and Casey's newsletter is stellar.
My wife and I started Liftoff: Couch to Barbell 3 weeks ago, and it feels like finding the golden ticket. Casey is me, is all of us. Special shout out to her acknowledging and providing practical tips for managing the social anxiety aspect of gym going and weightlifting.
I wonder if anyone has written about how body images track with the depression and World War II, with first no food, then food rationing and the draft, so women were thin and men had to get strong. The Hollywood industry really got going in the thirties and forties. Asian media is also gaining influence now, and there is a recent history of starvation there. That's an overgeneralization but this is just a comment, not a treatise.
Audrey Hepburn wrote about the effects of severe childhood malnutrition she suffered in Belgium in WWII. It gave her that body we all admired. I do think there is something in what you say here. I also think the thinness is associated with girlishness, youth, frailty.
I’ve been lifting weights for decades now. And being in my mid-60s, I’m struggling to accept that my body will probably not go back to my pre-pandemic weight or fitness level because of menopausal changes.
I recently found my mother’s Weight Watcher’s check-in booklet from the 70s and it’s eye-opening. She actually *gained* weight on the program. She’s 93 and weighs 110 lbs now and *still* says that she needs a piece of cake like she needs another hole in her head and has a fear of getting fat. At this point in her life, I remind her it’s not so much what she needs as what she wants. It’s heartbreaking.
My mother is in her 60s and has very brittle bones. I remember her bragging to me about losing her period bc she was so fit. She tried to tell me it was normal when I would be late or skip. As a former RD I knew she had an eating disorder - it wasnt until I read Good for a Girl that it really clicked. This book sounds like it would make an excellent companion to that one.
Like any avocation, weight lifting culture of measurement and comparison can activate the same negative behaviors that diet culture inculcates. Gyms are breeding grounds for self sabotage and food misinformation. Having said that, I lifted for decades and didn’t fall into that trap—but I was lucky to have a fast metabolism and a drop too much testosterone so never had weight gain and quickly saw results. Menopause changed everything about my body and now I struggle with how I look and why I don’t look like that anymore. Also the gyms around here are either full on bro havens or places where women timidly and daintily swan around. I’m looking for different exercises.
This is a good point that no exercise is going to fully be without its toxic traps. One part I loved about Casey’s book was her talking about gym bros and finding community there eventually.
I don't agree with every aspect of this reply, but I do want to cosign that this has its traps like any other. I've watched with trepidation and some side eye how it's gone from "lifting weights is good" to "everyone is entering powerlifting competitions". I'm not sure that's the way.
This could not have come at a better time for me. I saw your post from a few days ago and wondered how I could even reply without writing a book. I have been lifting heavy weights for @ 12 years. I'm 55. Before that, I ran and ran and ran, for decades. The last time I ran a marathon was in 2011, and my body literally felt like it was screaming at me to stop. I was gaining weight because of perimenopause. I was hardly eating. I kept running. It was hell until I found a better mix of exercise. I am up 30 pounds since then, but I am swole. But it's hard to accept. I am sitting at the beach right now and feel that familiar nudge of "I must lose weight, just 10 pounds" as I watch women in string bikinis pose to take just the right Instagram photos. I feel like a beast compared to them. Honestly, it's hard. I don't know if I'll ever get past what our culture has been telling me about my body. But this helps. I AM swole, and why am I not embracing my strength?
Timing is everything. Thanks for sharing this - especially on the heels of the prior post. I'm meeting with a personal trainer, and I have been working on using resistance in the pool to build muscle. On my last visit, my doctor advised me to lift weights, so I feel lucky to have a doc who understands that strength and muscle are important. I'm 60, and after a ton of physical challenges, I need to lose weight for functionality, but I'm not doing it for looks. I want to get back to hiking and taking long walks, and it just hurts now.
Thank you! My trainer tells me that she and I both need to ‘lift heavy.’ We have muscular bodies that can be obviously and publicly strong. It has been liberating! I will definitely get this book!
I applaud everything in this article; women's body image has been dictated by society's "norms" since time immemorial. We need to lift up an alternate, stressing all the capabilities our bodies have. As an older woman, I know how important it is to keep up strength and agility training, which may not make me live longer (not important) but hopefully live a healthier life. Having said that, I still must caution folks not to dismiss true medical obesity. As an endocrinologist, I saw all too often the ravages that serious levels of real obesity took and saw many lives cut short and made miserable. I also saw the opposite: health ruined by an attempt to fit into a fantasy body image. We, as women, need to hold up a healthy, joyful body as the best image! Glad I am old enough, and queer enough, to be able to concentrate on what brings health and wholeness! Thanks for another great essay.
I discovered Ask A Swole Woman when I decided to become a powerlifter back in 2018 at the age of 55. I’m still competing in powerlifting now at the age of 63, and still getting stronger.
“And her brother, too, has wondered out loud when he can start lifting weights ‘like a girl.’ “ Thank you, Lyz. I am in tears. I want this so badly for myself and for those I love.
He's furious that I won't let him lift heavy with me. I told him he has to start with body weight exercises like the rest of us. And then, maybe one day, he can be big and strong like a girl.
I am sure that my mother said nice things to me and didn't denigrate my body regularly. She has been dead for almost 40 years so I don't really remember. However, when I was 13, she said "you have glasses and braces....for God's sake, please stop eating so much". That was almost 50 years ago and I obviously still remember.
I HIGHLY recommend the LIFTOFF program. It is well designed, easy to follow, and Casey's newsletter is stellar.
it's that one (awful) thing they say that sticks with you forever
My wife and I started Liftoff: Couch to Barbell 3 weeks ago, and it feels like finding the golden ticket. Casey is me, is all of us. Special shout out to her acknowledging and providing practical tips for managing the social anxiety aspect of gym going and weightlifting.
I wonder if anyone has written about how body images track with the depression and World War II, with first no food, then food rationing and the draft, so women were thin and men had to get strong. The Hollywood industry really got going in the thirties and forties. Asian media is also gaining influence now, and there is a recent history of starvation there. That's an overgeneralization but this is just a comment, not a treatise.
I’d read it!
Audrey Hepburn wrote about the effects of severe childhood malnutrition she suffered in Belgium in WWII. It gave her that body we all admired. I do think there is something in what you say here. I also think the thinness is associated with girlishness, youth, frailty.
Thank you for introducing me to Casey and her work! Ordering LIFTOFF now!
I’ve been lifting weights for decades now. And being in my mid-60s, I’m struggling to accept that my body will probably not go back to my pre-pandemic weight or fitness level because of menopausal changes.
I recently found my mother’s Weight Watcher’s check-in booklet from the 70s and it’s eye-opening. She actually *gained* weight on the program. She’s 93 and weighs 110 lbs now and *still* says that she needs a piece of cake like she needs another hole in her head and has a fear of getting fat. At this point in her life, I remind her it’s not so much what she needs as what she wants. It’s heartbreaking.
My mother is in her 60s and has very brittle bones. I remember her bragging to me about losing her period bc she was so fit. She tried to tell me it was normal when I would be late or skip. As a former RD I knew she had an eating disorder - it wasnt until I read Good for a Girl that it really clicked. This book sounds like it would make an excellent companion to that one.
I highly recommend LIFTOFF and Casey’s newsletter. I’ve preordered her book and can’t wait to get it.
Like any avocation, weight lifting culture of measurement and comparison can activate the same negative behaviors that diet culture inculcates. Gyms are breeding grounds for self sabotage and food misinformation. Having said that, I lifted for decades and didn’t fall into that trap—but I was lucky to have a fast metabolism and a drop too much testosterone so never had weight gain and quickly saw results. Menopause changed everything about my body and now I struggle with how I look and why I don’t look like that anymore. Also the gyms around here are either full on bro havens or places where women timidly and daintily swan around. I’m looking for different exercises.
This is a good point that no exercise is going to fully be without its toxic traps. One part I loved about Casey’s book was her talking about gym bros and finding community there eventually.
I don't agree with every aspect of this reply, but I do want to cosign that this has its traps like any other. I've watched with trepidation and some side eye how it's gone from "lifting weights is good" to "everyone is entering powerlifting competitions". I'm not sure that's the way.
This could not have come at a better time for me. I saw your post from a few days ago and wondered how I could even reply without writing a book. I have been lifting heavy weights for @ 12 years. I'm 55. Before that, I ran and ran and ran, for decades. The last time I ran a marathon was in 2011, and my body literally felt like it was screaming at me to stop. I was gaining weight because of perimenopause. I was hardly eating. I kept running. It was hell until I found a better mix of exercise. I am up 30 pounds since then, but I am swole. But it's hard to accept. I am sitting at the beach right now and feel that familiar nudge of "I must lose weight, just 10 pounds" as I watch women in string bikinis pose to take just the right Instagram photos. I feel like a beast compared to them. Honestly, it's hard. I don't know if I'll ever get past what our culture has been telling me about my body. But this helps. I AM swole, and why am I not embracing my strength?
I hope you let your body rest on that beach. It’s brought you so far and has done so much for you.
Timing is everything. Thanks for sharing this - especially on the heels of the prior post. I'm meeting with a personal trainer, and I have been working on using resistance in the pool to build muscle. On my last visit, my doctor advised me to lift weights, so I feel lucky to have a doc who understands that strength and muscle are important. I'm 60, and after a ton of physical challenges, I need to lose weight for functionality, but I'm not doing it for looks. I want to get back to hiking and taking long walks, and it just hurts now.
Thank you! My trainer tells me that she and I both need to ‘lift heavy.’ We have muscular bodies that can be obviously and publicly strong. It has been liberating! I will definitely get this book!
I applaud everything in this article; women's body image has been dictated by society's "norms" since time immemorial. We need to lift up an alternate, stressing all the capabilities our bodies have. As an older woman, I know how important it is to keep up strength and agility training, which may not make me live longer (not important) but hopefully live a healthier life. Having said that, I still must caution folks not to dismiss true medical obesity. As an endocrinologist, I saw all too often the ravages that serious levels of real obesity took and saw many lives cut short and made miserable. I also saw the opposite: health ruined by an attempt to fit into a fantasy body image. We, as women, need to hold up a healthy, joyful body as the best image! Glad I am old enough, and queer enough, to be able to concentrate on what brings health and wholeness! Thanks for another great essay.
Highly recommend Casey's newsletter. It's exceptional. I cannot wait to read her book.
I discovered Ask A Swole Woman when I decided to become a powerlifter back in 2018 at the age of 55. I’m still competing in powerlifting now at the age of 63, and still getting stronger.
As Doug McGuff (Body by Science) says, Just. Lift. Weights. SuperSlow. Power of 10.