Dingus of the Week: Kristi Noem
Fascism's glass ceiling is broken
I began writing the weekly dingus in 2020. It began as a joke, but eventually it became a reminder of the power of laughter. Jokes can reduce even the most exalted political figure to nothing more than a damp paper towel or an expensive haircut, if only for a moment.
It can feel trivial, but finding laughter in the fight is crucial for our survival; for that last shred of sanity that you are clinging to like Kate Winslet and her door in the icy waters of the North Atlantic.
And that’s why I write the weekly dingus. I hope the dingus newsletter will always be free. But I can’t make this newsletter without paying subscribers.
Satan’s very own pick-me, Kristi Noem, broke the glass ceiling of fascism this week.
As ICE agents attempt to mass-deport immigrants, kidnapping children and adults from their homes, schools and places of work, the city of LA erupted with protests. In response, Trump sent in the National Guard and hundreds of Marines. California Gov. Gavin Newsom, has pushed back against the weaponization of the American military against its own citizens, sparking a stand-off between California and Trump’s agenda. At a press conference Thursday, Noem, Secretary of Homeland Security, promised to “liberate the city of Los Angeles.”
Right after she said that, California Sen. Alex Padilla was forcibly removed from the conference for trying to ask a question. Padilla, the state’s first Latino senator, was pushed to the ground and handcuffed by law enforcement.
Shoving and handcuffing a US senator at a press conference about the weaponization of the military against the people of California isn’t even fascism lite. It’s the real thing.
And Padilla’s treatment comes after the arrests of elected officials who have attempted to stand up to the administration over the mass deportations. Newark Mayor Ras Baraka was arrested in May for allegedly trespassing at an ICE facility in New Jersey. And this week, Rep. LaMonica McIver was indicted on federal charges for confronting ICE officers at the same facility.
Noem and other Republicans defended Padilla’s removal by saying he should have been less disruptive. As if the mass deportation American immigrants wasn’t what is actually disrupting our country. “But what about our rules and decorum?” cries the woman filming videos dehumanizing the people being housed in immigration facilities.
…you do have to hand it to Kristi Noem: She gets that perfect bold lip color by glossing with the blood of migrant children.
“There are rules and regulations,” shouts the lady who is regularly violating the actual Constitution.
Not since Catherine de’ Medici has the world seen this combination of state-sanctioned violence organized by such a head of hair.
Kristi Noem’s crimes against democracy are second only to her crimes against Restylane. And you might be thinking, “Lyz, you are a feminist, why are you going after a woman this hard?”
Simple: Because she’s bad. And she’s bad not because of the hair extensions, but because of the fascism. And we do need to get better at talking about the ways in which white women weaponize their bodies and beauty in the name of racism, fascism, and authoritarianism. That said, you do have to hand it to Kristi Noem: She gets that perfect bold lip color by glossing with the blood of migrant children.
And now for something good
The good news is that people are protesting this nonsense.
And not just in LA: there was dissent at the Kennedy Center and the Fulbright Board. And there are numerous No Kings protests scheduled this weekend.
Despite the efforts of the Trump administration, this week, students from all over the country came to Washington, DC, for the National History Day competition.
Elon Musk and Donald Trump aren’t done fighting. We love a little white-on-white crime.
Something I am enjoying
This week, I went from running Relay Iowa straight to New York, where the Freya Project hosted a fundraiser for IAAF. And I got to meet so many of you! It is wonderful to see the ways you all support and show up for one another and America. You all give me hope. I’d write something more profound, but I am exhausted.
It’s like there’s a secret Dingus Sign-up Sheet somewhere online, or something…
An unelected cabinet secretary had an elected sitting US Senator arrested and then the Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, said the senator should be censured. I wept. Co-equal branches of government. Johnson should be insulted on the Senator's behalf. Instead, he's acting like a small j johnson. I nominate him for next week... Everything we were afraid of is happening. I don't see this ending well for anyone.