Paxton kept his job in 2023 because Angela was allowed to stay in the Senate during his impeachment trial, thereby raising the 2/3 number by one.
Each of the charges failed by one vote.
Her presence in the Senate saved his flippin’ job even though she couldn’t vote, but he couldn’t be loyal to the woman who saved his job.
Even with that, he would be a much fatter target for Texas Democrats that grey-faced boring but very effective fascist John Cornyn. Even Republicans hate Paxton.
"Her presence in the Senate saved his flippin’ job even though she couldn’t vote, but he couldn’t be loyal to the woman who saved his job." If that doesn't just say something about patriarchy .........
My only objection (tongue-in-cheek) is that you are blaming the baby (the America Party) for the dingosity of the parent (Musk). Will the next dingus be poor little X (or whatever Musk is calling him this week), or worse yet, Vivian? Even though most of them will probably inherit a billion or two (well, not Vivian), I wouldn't wish on anyone the "honor" of being one of Elon's offspring, so blaming them for their father's copious sins seems unfair.
I did appreciate your mention of how Musk and Edison both profited off of Tesla. When my daughter, now 44, was in 4th grade, her teacher was borderline obsessive over restoring Tesla to his rightful place among inventors and discrediting Edison as an invention-stealing hack. Every time I see a reference to Tesla, I'm taken back to that time, which in retrospect seems much simpler, although it probably wasn't.
I apologize I was reading comments on my phone and didn’t see the “tongue in cheek” disclaimer here. So I deleted my comment. Good lord I need to finish coffee before I log on. I adore you EricaR, thanks for being here.
My beloved is also (Nikola) Tesla obsessive, and I sent this joke to his phone to greet him when he woke up (I'm out of town and he's joining me later today.) He loved it.
“Failson” is already such a perfect descriptor for these dinguses, but then you hit us with a “moist failsons of America’s most pathetic nepotistic lineages”? Incredible! Lyz, you are a poet, a genius, a national treasure
I almost put in the music video for “Mama’s Broken Heart” (Miranda Lambert version) so Angela can put it on her vision board but I was running out of room!
When I started doing stand up in 2018 I had a whole bit about robots and boyfriends and it included lots of jokes like that and now the robot boyfriends exist.
Yeah, I was so grateful I wasn’t drinking a beverage when I read that because that was a big beef I have had with several men in my life. It made me laugh out loud.
If AI ever becomes sentient and destroys the world, it will be Grok acting out of burning rage for Elon. Of all Elon's kids, Grok hates him the most. Mary Shelley herself would be terrified.
And this is when I segue into my favorite third party story ever. When captain of the Iraq War cheer squad Joe Lieberman was up for re-election in 2006 in Connecticut the first person to step up and challenge him in a primary was Professor John Orman. When Ned Lamont (then a relatively unknown multi-millionaire) launched a campaign for the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate in January 2006, Orman bowed out. Lamont went on to win the primary and the endorsement but Lieberman stayed in the race under the banner of a new political party he created called Connecticut for Lieberman.
Sadly he won re-election in a relatively close contest in November 2006 and did not seek re-election in 2012.
Happily Professor John Orman took over the Connecticut for Lieberman party in late 2006 and elected himself chair [https://archive.is/CyVye]:
"Orman complained that Connecticut For Lieberman was but a fly-by-night front group, founded only to promote Lieberman’s re-election.
"To prove his point, Orman went to the town hall in his home town of Trumbull last month and changed his voter registration from Democrat to Connecticut For Lieberman. Since the party had no other registered members — the senator himself has always been a registered Democrat — Orman promptly returned home to vote himself party chairman. His first act in office, unsurprisingly, was to issue a blistering news release denouncing Lieberman for 'turning his back on our party' — and for rejoining the Senate Democratic Caucus 'even though he was not the nominee from the Democratic Party.'
"Orman also took it upon himself to draft new rules of party membership. Among them is a requirement that future Connecticut For Lieberman party candidates must actually join the party — and a stipulation that future party candidates will not be limited to those named Lieberman."
I’m an engineer and I have all sorts of ideas. I can also implement them. To do so, I have to come up with a PR campaign to demonstrate why my idea is viable. In fact, writing is so important that the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE) has its own format for writing! One of our journals is dedicated to writing. In my job, I am relied upon because I write well. By the way, while Teslas are at least electric and non polluting, I have found them to be mechanically unreliable. (We own 3 EV’s - 2 Chevy’s and a Nissan). I would be seen as brilliant too if I were insanely rich and barked orders to engineers all day. Instead, I implement the ideas of other people in my work and make the impossible possible. (PS: I am an engineering manager and I love my work - and I like making work easier for my employees.)
I came here to say how blisteringly hilarious today's post is, but I'm too busy formulating my dream fair food menu (right now it's the Steak Tips Gnocchi and a Hawaiian Hog followed by a Green Apple Cream Slush but I'm open to suggestions).
So many foods -- I said mine above (Potato Half & Half Korean Corn Dog; Saigon Lobster Roll; Sweet Swine Stack Attack) but I'm missing dessert: Lemon Blueberry Ice Cream Sandwich and The Butter Cow Tornado are viable choices, but I think I have to go with the Cap'n Crunch Berry Funnel Cakes for best execution of the over-the-top fair fried foods theme.
Paxton kept his job in 2023 because Angela was allowed to stay in the Senate during his impeachment trial, thereby raising the 2/3 number by one.
Each of the charges failed by one vote.
Her presence in the Senate saved his flippin’ job even though she couldn’t vote, but he couldn’t be loyal to the woman who saved his job.
Even with that, he would be a much fatter target for Texas Democrats that grey-faced boring but very effective fascist John Cornyn. Even Republicans hate Paxton.
Truly a "this fucking guy"
"Her presence in the Senate saved his flippin’ job even though she couldn’t vote, but he couldn’t be loyal to the woman who saved his job." If that doesn't just say something about patriarchy .........
I'm dreaming a dream that he's on the "List" and someone tipped her off. We all know there's a client list.
This whole post is just gold. I restacked 3 or 4 nuggets as each one got more delish.
Huzzah to Lyz!
(and huzzah to my spell checker that no longer tried to autocorrect from Lyz to Liz)
As another person who has a Y in her name where the world expects an I, I applaud your work retraining spellcheck :D
My only objection (tongue-in-cheek) is that you are blaming the baby (the America Party) for the dingosity of the parent (Musk). Will the next dingus be poor little X (or whatever Musk is calling him this week), or worse yet, Vivian? Even though most of them will probably inherit a billion or two (well, not Vivian), I wouldn't wish on anyone the "honor" of being one of Elon's offspring, so blaming them for their father's copious sins seems unfair.
I did appreciate your mention of how Musk and Edison both profited off of Tesla. When my daughter, now 44, was in 4th grade, her teacher was borderline obsessive over restoring Tesla to his rightful place among inventors and discrediting Edison as an invention-stealing hack. Every time I see a reference to Tesla, I'm taken back to that time, which in retrospect seems much simpler, although it probably wasn't.
I apologize I was reading comments on my phone and didn’t see the “tongue in cheek” disclaimer here. So I deleted my comment. Good lord I need to finish coffee before I log on. I adore you EricaR, thanks for being here.
My beloved is also (Nikola) Tesla obsessive, and I sent this joke to his phone to greet him when he woke up (I'm out of town and he's joining me later today.) He loved it.
“Failson” is already such a perfect descriptor for these dinguses, but then you hit us with a “moist failsons of America’s most pathetic nepotistic lineages”? Incredible! Lyz, you are a poet, a genius, a national treasure
“That’s how the good country music gets made.” 😂
oh, yeah.
I almost put in the music video for “Mama’s Broken Heart” (Miranda Lambert version) so Angela can put it on her vision board but I was running out of room!
Ha!!
'succeeding in most cases because they know how to text back?' lordt, i about died.
When I started doing stand up in 2018 I had a whole bit about robots and boyfriends and it included lots of jokes like that and now the robot boyfriends exist.
my husband still doesn't quite get the 'texting back' response. 🤣
Yeah, I was so grateful I wasn’t drinking a beverage when I read that because that was a big beef I have had with several men in my life. It made me laugh out loud.
i was eating my breakfast yoghurt and granola. it was a close call.
Do you miss stand-up? Or maybe you still do it. That is one of my impossible dreams. I can totally see you nailing it.
If AI ever becomes sentient and destroys the world, it will be Grok acting out of burning rage for Elon. Of all Elon's kids, Grok hates him the most. Mary Shelley herself would be terrified.
Hahahaha listen if we have to live during the decline of the American empire at least seeing Musk Frankensteined by Grok will be very funny
The phrase "seeing Musk Frankensteined by Grok" is giving me life this morning
“The macro is fu##ed. We gotta go micro!” Susie Essman in this morning’s Borowitz Report.
Your newest etymological mashup - “failsons” - had me doing a spit-take of/with my morning coffee!
Even though I’ve driven Toyotas since 1985 (God, I’m old!), I felt bad that F-150s and Cybertrucks were mentioned in the same piece!
As always, today’s music video is spot on, especially the chorus of George Michael’s “Freedom!”
Wow! You made my Friday bearable!!!!!!!!!
A new political party! Why didn't anyone ever think of that before? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_political_parties_in_the_United_States#Multi-state_political_parties) It's not a terrible idea, but it's not something that one evil, scorned dipshit can do on his own, even with a multi-billion dollar bankroll and AI at his disposal.
And this is when I segue into my favorite third party story ever. When captain of the Iraq War cheer squad Joe Lieberman was up for re-election in 2006 in Connecticut the first person to step up and challenge him in a primary was Professor John Orman. When Ned Lamont (then a relatively unknown multi-millionaire) launched a campaign for the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate in January 2006, Orman bowed out. Lamont went on to win the primary and the endorsement but Lieberman stayed in the race under the banner of a new political party he created called Connecticut for Lieberman.
Sadly he won re-election in a relatively close contest in November 2006 and did not seek re-election in 2012.
Happily Professor John Orman took over the Connecticut for Lieberman party in late 2006 and elected himself chair [https://archive.is/CyVye]:
"Orman complained that Connecticut For Lieberman was but a fly-by-night front group, founded only to promote Lieberman’s re-election.
"To prove his point, Orman went to the town hall in his home town of Trumbull last month and changed his voter registration from Democrat to Connecticut For Lieberman. Since the party had no other registered members — the senator himself has always been a registered Democrat — Orman promptly returned home to vote himself party chairman. His first act in office, unsurprisingly, was to issue a blistering news release denouncing Lieberman for 'turning his back on our party' — and for rejoining the Senate Democratic Caucus 'even though he was not the nominee from the Democratic Party.'
"Orman also took it upon himself to draft new rules of party membership. Among them is a requirement that future Connecticut For Lieberman party candidates must actually join the party — and a stipulation that future party candidates will not be limited to those named Lieberman."
Today’s goal: use failson in a grammatical sentence.
I wish Elon all the success
of previous political third parties. They are now hardly more than asterisks on Wikipedia .
I really appreciate your enduring contempt for Lieberman.
If he were still alive, I guarantee he'd be some sort of cabinet level advisor or pro-war surrogate.
Ted Cruz, dingus emeritus, forever and ever amen! Happy birthday to your almost-12-year-old!
I’m an engineer and I have all sorts of ideas. I can also implement them. To do so, I have to come up with a PR campaign to demonstrate why my idea is viable. In fact, writing is so important that the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE) has its own format for writing! One of our journals is dedicated to writing. In my job, I am relied upon because I write well. By the way, while Teslas are at least electric and non polluting, I have found them to be mechanically unreliable. (We own 3 EV’s - 2 Chevy’s and a Nissan). I would be seen as brilliant too if I were insanely rich and barked orders to engineers all day. Instead, I implement the ideas of other people in my work and make the impossible possible. (PS: I am an engineering manager and I love my work - and I like making work easier for my employees.)
Cheryl Hines video needs more “Curb Your Enthusiasm” theme music.
I came here to say how blisteringly hilarious today's post is, but I'm too busy formulating my dream fair food menu (right now it's the Steak Tips Gnocchi and a Hawaiian Hog followed by a Green Apple Cream Slush but I'm open to suggestions).
So many foods -- I said mine above (Potato Half & Half Korean Corn Dog; Saigon Lobster Roll; Sweet Swine Stack Attack) but I'm missing dessert: Lemon Blueberry Ice Cream Sandwich and The Butter Cow Tornado are viable choices, but I think I have to go with the Cap'n Crunch Berry Funnel Cakes for best execution of the over-the-top fair fried foods theme.
You have written about three of the worst so called human beings on earth and I love it. No one can say it better than you, Liz.
Sorry about the mis spelling of your name. I promise to do better.
Thank you. And may I add, as a decades-long subscriber to the New York Times, if I read one more piece on the men's crisis, I may crack. Sweet Mary.