So it feels like a long time ago, probably when you were “happily married” that I was the model minority. Always worked, always paid taxes, low body count, married, homeowner, kids in wedlock, my husband and I worked for a police dept. (actually I am still this now - even raised two great kids)
Even back then I knew Americans could be shitty but I believed in America. I believe the whole two steps forward one step back trajectory. Then I think Trayvon Martin was killed and Ferguson happened, and I read Ta Nehsi Coates’ “Between the World and Me”.
My perception of the ending is “this is our lives, it’s gonna be our kids lives and it’s gonna be our grandkids lives…..” I was so mad when I read this book for a book club. During the book club, just tears streaked my face the entire time but I had to keep telling my club “I’m okay- just keep talking”. I still haven’t spoke about this book or shared my full thoughts.
I knew what the problem was “cognitive dissonance”. I wanted to believe (I still want to believe) that America is America with some assholes who make things difficult but the book said “Bev, girl, you better wake up! You got kids, you need to prepare them.”
So I wasn’t shocked when Dobbs happened - just grateful my ovaries were out of commission and I have no daughters. I keep reading during this election season that women are mad, that men care too and that they’re going to strike back and I pray they do. But I think the run is over.
Gen X was the great American experience- we got Civil Rights, women getting credit, Title IX, ADA, low mortgage rates, last of Pell grants, gay marriage, all the good things. None of this happened all at once and so many lawsuits had to occur to get things to work half the way they were designed. White people (sorry it’s y’all again) decided after just one generation of trying on equality that it’s too much.
Regarding reproductive rights. I said this before here and you admonished me:
“We are here because of women, the women who live in your community, the women who center men, who thrill in shaming other women, who think what happens to women of color would never happen to them, who think all their pregnancies are miracles, who volunteer to die on the cross of Christian motherhood and House Elfdom.
I really like this site - I hope you won’t ban me. I say this for you and me (because I often need to be reminded): They’re not coming. The men in your community and mine have decided that for now the only actual choice a woman should have is to opt out. Don’t get married, don’t have kids because if you do these things you lose all your rights. If the majority of women accept this , they’ll find a way to force the minority. This is our lives, it’s definitely going to be our daughters - prepare them.
Don’t get me started on race. That speech is worse than this one. Sorry this is long.
thank you, bev, for your honesty and willingness to risk and also to trust those of us who gather here with your anger and frustration. you are correct. as i 75 year old white woman i absolutely agree with your assessment - it IS us. i was a teenager in the 60s, participating in the anti-war and civil rights protests. there was so much hope in the air back then. now i am discouraged and angry. we seem to be going backward. so much hasn't improved and many of the things we fought for are now being taken away. when i volunteered for kamala harris' campaign, she spoke here in cedar rapids. the one thing she said that really hit hard was that we have to keep fighting the same fights over and over and over. it's tiring. but you know what? i am NOT giving up. i WILL keep fighting. these are hills that i will gladly die on. so i am standing with you, sending love, strength and blessings your way. you are not alone.
Hi Bestie! Sometimes I feel like I’m screaming in a black hole. I am pessimistic but it’s a coping mechanism. I do pray that we get it together. I will always vote. I’m not opposed to fighting but I’m never going to put myself on the front lines anymore because too many people who claim they are allies won’t be there in the fight.
I’m hunkering down and watching. Lyz is doing the work and fighting the fight so supporting her financially is a no brainer.
there are so many strong women in my life, both young and old. my daughters are fighters too. i am grateful for all of them. you and lyz are definitely sources of courage and inspiration for me. keep on!
And please don't forget that, despite the seeming outrageous odds, there are men here too who support everything the two of you and Lyz and everyone else on this stack stand for. I am 73, and like Greta, I was a teenager during the fights in the 60s and early 70s. I remember the Roe decision as salvation for all of us (my mother needed to have an abortion when I was 18 and at that time, she had to go to Washington DC which was one of the few places you could get a legal abortion in the US). I still shake my head these days wondering how it could have all gone so wrong. But we continue to fight and support the effort to reverse this trend. I hope I live to see the day that we overcome. For as the song goes, we shall.
and we appreciate that support. we do not take that lightly. when we all work together, we can move mountains, even when those mountains seem like the entire himalayan range!
We are thinking about when/how/where to move in the next few years (kids growing up, job changes, cost of living, etc) and I’m thinking about Iowa and the Midwest. I could not wait to get out of Iowa when I was old enough to strike out on my own, and wow, it makes me sad and angry to see the politics swing so far right. We’ve said we don’t want to move to a red state, but I think about Lyz making the point that staying and working for change matters, that we have to try. Maybe moving back and working toward change is also worth trying. (And it’s more affordable in IA!)
I made this move in 2019 and I have zero regrets! I loved Boston, but it was unaffordable and it took 17 years to get anywhere. Now I’m back in a different city than I grew up in where I found a job. Blue pocket of red state. Yes, the state politics suck, but guess what? I’m back in Boston and friends are telling me about the exponential growth in Trump signs. Not enough to flip the state but maybe enough to muffle the “just leave” narrative a little.
So...I have two daughters in Texas. One is an OB/GYN. She is absolutely losing her mind.
There is a special place in hell for non-physicians who presume to know more about the medical treatment of a pregnant woman and her child(ren) than a properly trained (eight to eleven years of specialized medical education beyond undergrad) OB/GYN and related specialty physician. It is a profound tragedy that in the nation with the most advanced medical research and most abundant medical resources in the entire world, we have half of our states enforcing laws that reduce reproductive health care and the care of pregnant women to near-19th century standards. Example: A woman who did not have access for whatever reason to early pregnancy care gets a scan and learns that her 23-week old fetus is missing most of its head. This and other lethal fetal anomalies are quite common. The fetus is going to die, either in utero or as soon as it is delivered. In compassionate states that practice medical standards of care, the mother has the CHOICE to deliver the fetus immediately and end the pregnancy. The procedure is called "an induction of labor." Republicans driven by evangelical extremists call it "abortion." The mother may choose not to deliver the fetus, risking the possibility that the child may die in utero and cause complications or infections until it is naturally expelled. The infection may cause the mother to become infertile or it may kill her. It also may cause emotional trauma. That's the 19th century way. In Texas and most other GOP states that mother is REQUIRED to carry that baby until nature takes it's course. And the OB/GYNs weep. For extra fun let's remind ourselves that today the majority of OB/GYNs are now women, especially the younger ones. Republicans LOVE to hate on professions dominated by women - part of a theme to remind women of their diminutive place in American society (librarians, teachers, nurses etc).
In Ireland ONE woman died of infection after being refused an "induction of labor" for a lethal fetal anomaly and the nation rebelled, enshrining the right to abortion in law. What will it take in America?
I stopped watching the news after Kamala was filmed in the park after a run saying “Joe we did it”. I felt like Cancer went into remission and thinking too much about it would bring cancer back. I still read the news. Well cancer is back, and he’s running even with our only choice. And media game rules are: if Biden stutters just once that will be worse than Trump lying and badgering during the entire debate.
I’m not sure I will watch - everyone in America knows that jobs have increased, our economy is doing better than the rest of the world, nothing horrible happened when Biden was president and that Trump is a convicted felon, racist, sexist, horrible businessman - this debate is not going to change their mind.
The GOP don’t care about this debate or the moral character of America and if you’re hurt they’ll think it’s funny - it’s a bonus.
Honestly, every time I see/hear him on TV, I start swearing at the TV set. I have to restrain myself when I'm around other people ;) but I just cannot stand the sound of his voice. I even have a little song that I sing when he starts going on & on too long -- the only lyrics are two words that begin with F & Y, lol. My husband said, "You've really developed a potty mouth!" and I said, "do you blame me?!" (And I'm not even American!)
I feel you, Asha! If I could experience the debate with this community, I would. But because I live in Sweden, the debate takes place at 3 am my time so I can't watch it. Honestly, I am relieved. My rage would be so huge, and I don't need much more of that. Naturally, the loss of rights for US women is beyond enraging. I am friends with many people who have trans children in their teens and early 20s. I am terrified for those young people as well as everyone else who is trans. I just never imagined how much ground, and how quickly, would be lost and the struggle is far from over. Of course, racism hasn't exactly been conquered. One thousand thanks to Lyz and the rest of y'all fighting to get us closer to sanity on so many issues.
Fellow Red State — I live in Texas — liberal here. Thank you for this. I really, really hate the ‘just leave’ rhetoric, as though abandoning the people who can’t leave is a humane option. I’m working to change things here, and if we can change Texas, we change the whole country. We’re the biggest Red state and the ONLY one with a decent economy. Just like Iowa, we have a long and proud tradition of progressive activists who deserve to be remembered.
Barbara Jordan and Ann Richards didn’t come from California. I’m not going to allow their legacy to be lost.
So much went through my mind and out again I’m numb.
I think this ugliness is everywhere, sadly, just in different proportions, and it will spread as climate change gets worse. I am trying to practice self love, partly so I have something to give others.
I would sincerely like to know what anyone sees of value in presidential debates? I am of the opinion that they change no one's minds about anything. They seem like a lot of work and attention for no gain at all. I haven't watched one from beginning to end in years. I watched part of a debate between Hillary and Voldemort but not since Obama in 2008 have I watched a full one. So what gives?
Tennessee Abortion Clinic Workers Speak Out About the State’s Near-Total Ban: In Memphis, a doctor and a volunteer driver contemplate the discontinuation of abortion services at a women’s health clinic two years after the overturning of Roe v. Wade.
While I live on the west coast and really appreciate where I live, I am still a midwesterner at heart - Southwestern Ohio has its charm. First, I love the green foliage this time of year! As miserable as I always felt in hot and humid weather, or how scary a tornado was (I saw an F-5 tornado in 1974 that came and destroyed half our town), I loved growing up in an area that had a surprising amount of diversity - we had a lot of universities nearby, and even my county had the most conservative and most liberal of towns. I left - twice - and it was for employment. One time was my company in St. Louis laying off 6000 employees. The other time was a 75% raise - even with a higher cost of living, the math worked out. Today my family is spread out - we are in California, I have a sister in Cincinnati, a brother in North Carolina, and a sister in the UK. LAX to Heathrow anyone?
Thanks for fighting for change, Lyz! I’m so tired of the “why don’t you just move” or the “I’m not getting involved for my mental health” arguments. If you aren’t doing the work, who do you think is!?
The founding partner of my obgyn practice was the jackass who sued to have the original territorial mandate outlawing all abortion in Arizona reinstated. 🤬 finding a good obgyn out here in Arizona on my insurance is impossible, but I keep looking for other options (to be clear, my NP at the practice is fine).
Check out this article from AZCentral:
Arizona's 1864 abortion ban is not expected to take effect, attorney general says
I grew up in AZ, and I feel this pain so much. Where (generally) are you? I have some recommendations for obgyn in the Flagstaff area if that works for you.
I too grew up in AZ (Tucson, which fortunately was at least slightly to the left of the rest of the state and from what I hear still is!) and I have thrilled to see the state move slowly, inexorably to the left again. Katie Hobbs' victory was astounding (I contributed money to her campaign even though I live in California now) and hopefully the state will continue to become more purple and maybe even blue.
So it feels like a long time ago, probably when you were “happily married” that I was the model minority. Always worked, always paid taxes, low body count, married, homeowner, kids in wedlock, my husband and I worked for a police dept. (actually I am still this now - even raised two great kids)
Even back then I knew Americans could be shitty but I believed in America. I believe the whole two steps forward one step back trajectory. Then I think Trayvon Martin was killed and Ferguson happened, and I read Ta Nehsi Coates’ “Between the World and Me”.
My perception of the ending is “this is our lives, it’s gonna be our kids lives and it’s gonna be our grandkids lives…..” I was so mad when I read this book for a book club. During the book club, just tears streaked my face the entire time but I had to keep telling my club “I’m okay- just keep talking”. I still haven’t spoke about this book or shared my full thoughts.
I knew what the problem was “cognitive dissonance”. I wanted to believe (I still want to believe) that America is America with some assholes who make things difficult but the book said “Bev, girl, you better wake up! You got kids, you need to prepare them.”
So I wasn’t shocked when Dobbs happened - just grateful my ovaries were out of commission and I have no daughters. I keep reading during this election season that women are mad, that men care too and that they’re going to strike back and I pray they do. But I think the run is over.
Gen X was the great American experience- we got Civil Rights, women getting credit, Title IX, ADA, low mortgage rates, last of Pell grants, gay marriage, all the good things. None of this happened all at once and so many lawsuits had to occur to get things to work half the way they were designed. White people (sorry it’s y’all again) decided after just one generation of trying on equality that it’s too much.
Regarding reproductive rights. I said this before here and you admonished me:
“We are here because of women, the women who live in your community, the women who center men, who thrill in shaming other women, who think what happens to women of color would never happen to them, who think all their pregnancies are miracles, who volunteer to die on the cross of Christian motherhood and House Elfdom.
I really like this site - I hope you won’t ban me. I say this for you and me (because I often need to be reminded): They’re not coming. The men in your community and mine have decided that for now the only actual choice a woman should have is to opt out. Don’t get married, don’t have kids because if you do these things you lose all your rights. If the majority of women accept this , they’ll find a way to force the minority. This is our lives, it’s definitely going to be our daughters - prepare them.
Don’t get me started on race. That speech is worse than this one. Sorry this is long.
thank you, bev, for your honesty and willingness to risk and also to trust those of us who gather here with your anger and frustration. you are correct. as i 75 year old white woman i absolutely agree with your assessment - it IS us. i was a teenager in the 60s, participating in the anti-war and civil rights protests. there was so much hope in the air back then. now i am discouraged and angry. we seem to be going backward. so much hasn't improved and many of the things we fought for are now being taken away. when i volunteered for kamala harris' campaign, she spoke here in cedar rapids. the one thing she said that really hit hard was that we have to keep fighting the same fights over and over and over. it's tiring. but you know what? i am NOT giving up. i WILL keep fighting. these are hills that i will gladly die on. so i am standing with you, sending love, strength and blessings your way. you are not alone.
Hi Bestie! Sometimes I feel like I’m screaming in a black hole. I am pessimistic but it’s a coping mechanism. I do pray that we get it together. I will always vote. I’m not opposed to fighting but I’m never going to put myself on the front lines anymore because too many people who claim they are allies won’t be there in the fight.
I’m hunkering down and watching. Lyz is doing the work and fighting the fight so supporting her financially is a no brainer.
there are so many strong women in my life, both young and old. my daughters are fighters too. i am grateful for all of them. you and lyz are definitely sources of courage and inspiration for me. keep on!
And please don't forget that, despite the seeming outrageous odds, there are men here too who support everything the two of you and Lyz and everyone else on this stack stand for. I am 73, and like Greta, I was a teenager during the fights in the 60s and early 70s. I remember the Roe decision as salvation for all of us (my mother needed to have an abortion when I was 18 and at that time, she had to go to Washington DC which was one of the few places you could get a legal abortion in the US). I still shake my head these days wondering how it could have all gone so wrong. But we continue to fight and support the effort to reverse this trend. I hope I live to see the day that we overcome. For as the song goes, we shall.
and we appreciate that support. we do not take that lightly. when we all work together, we can move mountains, even when those mountains seem like the entire himalayan range!
I definitely get the disagreement on this, and also the patriarchy can't function without women propping it up.
We are thinking about when/how/where to move in the next few years (kids growing up, job changes, cost of living, etc) and I’m thinking about Iowa and the Midwest. I could not wait to get out of Iowa when I was old enough to strike out on my own, and wow, it makes me sad and angry to see the politics swing so far right. We’ve said we don’t want to move to a red state, but I think about Lyz making the point that staying and working for change matters, that we have to try. Maybe moving back and working toward change is also worth trying. (And it’s more affordable in IA!)
yes, please move back. we need you here!
Yes please come back!
I made this move in 2019 and I have zero regrets! I loved Boston, but it was unaffordable and it took 17 years to get anywhere. Now I’m back in a different city than I grew up in where I found a job. Blue pocket of red state. Yes, the state politics suck, but guess what? I’m back in Boston and friends are telling me about the exponential growth in Trump signs. Not enough to flip the state but maybe enough to muffle the “just leave” narrative a little.
So...I have two daughters in Texas. One is an OB/GYN. She is absolutely losing her mind.
There is a special place in hell for non-physicians who presume to know more about the medical treatment of a pregnant woman and her child(ren) than a properly trained (eight to eleven years of specialized medical education beyond undergrad) OB/GYN and related specialty physician. It is a profound tragedy that in the nation with the most advanced medical research and most abundant medical resources in the entire world, we have half of our states enforcing laws that reduce reproductive health care and the care of pregnant women to near-19th century standards. Example: A woman who did not have access for whatever reason to early pregnancy care gets a scan and learns that her 23-week old fetus is missing most of its head. This and other lethal fetal anomalies are quite common. The fetus is going to die, either in utero or as soon as it is delivered. In compassionate states that practice medical standards of care, the mother has the CHOICE to deliver the fetus immediately and end the pregnancy. The procedure is called "an induction of labor." Republicans driven by evangelical extremists call it "abortion." The mother may choose not to deliver the fetus, risking the possibility that the child may die in utero and cause complications or infections until it is naturally expelled. The infection may cause the mother to become infertile or it may kill her. It also may cause emotional trauma. That's the 19th century way. In Texas and most other GOP states that mother is REQUIRED to carry that baby until nature takes it's course. And the OB/GYNs weep. For extra fun let's remind ourselves that today the majority of OB/GYNs are now women, especially the younger ones. Republicans LOVE to hate on professions dominated by women - part of a theme to remind women of their diminutive place in American society (librarians, teachers, nurses etc).
In Ireland ONE woman died of infection after being refused an "induction of labor" for a lethal fetal anomaly and the nation rebelled, enshrining the right to abortion in law. What will it take in America?
Okay, now I might actually watch the debate. Otherwise, I would just be utterly alone in my house screaming at the tv and my heart can't take that.
I stopped watching the news after Kamala was filmed in the park after a run saying “Joe we did it”. I felt like Cancer went into remission and thinking too much about it would bring cancer back. I still read the news. Well cancer is back, and he’s running even with our only choice. And media game rules are: if Biden stutters just once that will be worse than Trump lying and badgering during the entire debate.
I’m not sure I will watch - everyone in America knows that jobs have increased, our economy is doing better than the rest of the world, nothing horrible happened when Biden was president and that Trump is a convicted felon, racist, sexist, horrible businessman - this debate is not going to change their mind.
The GOP don’t care about this debate or the moral character of America and if you’re hurt they’ll think it’s funny - it’s a bonus.
despite the good company offered, i honestly can't watch. i'd have to take rescue meds both before and after!
I can’t bear to see the rump at all! I hear ya!
all i have to do is hear his voice to provoke an anxiety attack!
Honestly, every time I see/hear him on TV, I start swearing at the TV set. I have to restrain myself when I'm around other people ;) but I just cannot stand the sound of his voice. I even have a little song that I sing when he starts going on & on too long -- the only lyrics are two words that begin with F & Y, lol. My husband said, "You've really developed a potty mouth!" and I said, "do you blame me?!" (And I'm not even American!)
you don't have to be american to intensely dislike voldemort.
I feel you, Asha! If I could experience the debate with this community, I would. But because I live in Sweden, the debate takes place at 3 am my time so I can't watch it. Honestly, I am relieved. My rage would be so huge, and I don't need much more of that. Naturally, the loss of rights for US women is beyond enraging. I am friends with many people who have trans children in their teens and early 20s. I am terrified for those young people as well as everyone else who is trans. I just never imagined how much ground, and how quickly, would be lost and the struggle is far from over. Of course, racism hasn't exactly been conquered. One thousand thanks to Lyz and the rest of y'all fighting to get us closer to sanity on so many issues.
Thank you.
Fellow Red State — I live in Texas — liberal here. Thank you for this. I really, really hate the ‘just leave’ rhetoric, as though abandoning the people who can’t leave is a humane option. I’m working to change things here, and if we can change Texas, we change the whole country. We’re the biggest Red state and the ONLY one with a decent economy. Just like Iowa, we have a long and proud tradition of progressive activists who deserve to be remembered.
Barbara Jordan and Ann Richards didn’t come from California. I’m not going to allow their legacy to be lost.
Thank you so much.
So much went through my mind and out again I’m numb.
I think this ugliness is everywhere, sadly, just in different proportions, and it will spread as climate change gets worse. I am trying to practice self love, partly so I have something to give others.
My parent's generation averred that talk of politics, religion and sex was verboten. I submit that was a mistake.
I would sincerely like to know what anyone sees of value in presidential debates? I am of the opinion that they change no one's minds about anything. They seem like a lot of work and attention for no gain at all. I haven't watched one from beginning to end in years. I watched part of a debate between Hillary and Voldemort but not since Obama in 2008 have I watched a full one. So what gives?
“Hillary and Voldemort” 😂🤣😍Thanks for the laugh
Tennessee Abortion Clinic Workers Speak Out About the State’s Near-Total Ban: In Memphis, a doctor and a volunteer driver contemplate the discontinuation of abortion services at a women’s health clinic two years after the overturning of Roe v. Wade.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/18/opinion/abortion-ban-clinic-tennessee.html
Here’s another article: a very good investigative piece by Amy Littlefield for The Nation, about the current state of access to abortion pills: https://www.thenation.com/article/society/telehealth-abortion-shield-laws/
While I live on the west coast and really appreciate where I live, I am still a midwesterner at heart - Southwestern Ohio has its charm. First, I love the green foliage this time of year! As miserable as I always felt in hot and humid weather, or how scary a tornado was (I saw an F-5 tornado in 1974 that came and destroyed half our town), I loved growing up in an area that had a surprising amount of diversity - we had a lot of universities nearby, and even my county had the most conservative and most liberal of towns. I left - twice - and it was for employment. One time was my company in St. Louis laying off 6000 employees. The other time was a 75% raise - even with a higher cost of living, the math worked out. Today my family is spread out - we are in California, I have a sister in Cincinnati, a brother in North Carolina, and a sister in the UK. LAX to Heathrow anyone?
Ladies- we are going to save ourselves. Fight like hell. Get loud, and get out the vote.
Thank you, Lyz, and Beverley, and all who stay and fight.
I fought for women’s access to health care in the 1980s, and we thought we’d moved the needle. It is devastating to see where the US is now.
I left, by the way. Big leave: moved to Europe in the early 90s and that was that.
Thanks for fighting for change, Lyz! I’m so tired of the “why don’t you just move” or the “I’m not getting involved for my mental health” arguments. If you aren’t doing the work, who do you think is!?
Here's one article:
Check out this article from AZCentral:
Arizona pastor supports executing women over abortions. At least he's honest
https://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/ej-montini/2024/06/24/arizona-pastor-wants-women-who-have-abortions-executed/74199769007/
The founding partner of my obgyn practice was the jackass who sued to have the original territorial mandate outlawing all abortion in Arizona reinstated. 🤬 finding a good obgyn out here in Arizona on my insurance is impossible, but I keep looking for other options (to be clear, my NP at the practice is fine).
Check out this article from AZCentral:
Arizona's 1864 abortion ban is not expected to take effect, attorney general says
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/arizona/2024/06/17/arizona-abortion-ban-1864-law-not-expected-to-take-effect/74127059007/
WHAT THE FUCK
I grew up in AZ, and I feel this pain so much. Where (generally) are you? I have some recommendations for obgyn in the Flagstaff area if that works for you.
Sadly, I'm in Chandler. But thanks! Abortion access is on the ballot this fall, fingers crossed.
I too grew up in AZ (Tucson, which fortunately was at least slightly to the left of the rest of the state and from what I hear still is!) and I have thrilled to see the state move slowly, inexorably to the left again. Katie Hobbs' victory was astounding (I contributed money to her campaign even though I live in California now) and hopefully the state will continue to become more purple and maybe even blue.