I have a small family. I’m an only child, my father was an Only and he died 9 years ago. My mom had one sister who died in 2011. I have two first cousins who live far away. My husband has one brother who spends holidays with his bitch of an ex-wife. Thus, I invite friends who don’t have other places to go or who have tiny kitchens and can’t cook. I get to use my good china and silver and they get excellent food in a safe place. I rarely repeat recipes other than the Southern cornbread dressing that my grandmother taught me to make. (I do a better job on that, too.)
My two sons help me cook and clean. I’m feeling quite proud of myself today.
We go to friends who have a tradition of opening up their home and table for friends who have no family to go to (or are estranged from). Everyone tends to bring a dish (but you don't have to!) and they provide the core meat'n'veg. It's always fun -- and much better than visiting family for it :)
I no longer live in the States so Thursday was just another work day where I could wallow in the soft-focus memories of all the ideal Thanksgivings of my life.
Thank you for bringing me rudely back down to earth (and making me snort-laugh in the doctor’s waiting room) with this pitch-perfect tribute to family holiday dinners everywhere.
I realize the non-cleaning dingii are mostly men, but two of my sisters are notorious never-helpers. As soon as the plates are collected, one has a very compelling reason she can't help; the older one had already left with a plate full of desserts.
That was true in our house, too. Men/boys always co-cooked and co-cleaned. One sister-in-law who had hosted Thanksgiving a few times apparently felt it was a lifetime deal and she was exempted from any further duties.
Males who don't cook and clean are missing out on great parts of being in a family.
We usually do not go to big family dinners but this year we attended a small family gathering. Thankfully we don't talk politics or religion. The teenagers were, predictably, awkward and grumpy but we let them be. I have to say it was a dingus-free day. Even our dog was a good guest, whew! Hostess isn't a dog person. She knows we're good dog parents so he's welcome, yay.
Being at the kids' table at Thanksgiving meant we didn't have to listen to 40 minutes of "Welsh genealogy" - otherwise known as parents and the aunts and uncles talking about people that they grew up with but we had never met. Fortunately, "may I please be excused" worked for those stuck at the adult table.
I’ve had it with Thanksgiving.🤣 Highlights from yesterday’s family Thanksgiving: three of Taylor’s dingii showed up; one 88yo grandmother stormed out; and the 24yo nephew uttered the words “sex toy” in front of the entire group.
Ah yes the young person saying something obviously inappropriate at the table dingus. Like my cousin when she was in high school talking about how drunk she got at prom and barfed all over the backseat of her car.
My husband and I said to hell with it and came to a cute little lodge in Pine, AZ away from family. We made a thanksgiving feast using only a microwave! Steak (I know, not optimal, but not bad), sweet potato, and salad…on paper towels with wooden cutlery! 😂 #nodinguszone
Thoroughly enjoyable … and a good reminder that the weakest-minded of our adult species are the ones who pick on the kids. Also let’s ban diet culture forever. My god!
Taylor, I will go to a family/friends/whoever dinner with you any time. Indeed! We must be the change.
My favorite comment is “Well, everyone who didnt help get the meal on the table is up for clearing and cleaning. If you hustle, you won’t miss the kick-off.”
We went to my church’s TG potluck. The spread was impressive. I invited my cousins because they lost power for a week after a storm and their generator broke after all that their fridge was completely rotten. My teenage daughter was an hour late because she had to do her make up then she showed up ate a huge plate of food and ran off to go have sex with her boyfriend. A guy who appears to have a crush on me made a big point of sitting next to me at our table which was flattering even though I’m off dating for good. We took my cousins’ little kids on a hike to behind the church after dinner, came back helped clean up and went home. My mom and I watched Fantastic Mr Fox. It was a nice day off work. I was grateful I only had to cook one thing and was therefore able to take my dog on a long walk in n the morning. There was not one single dingus in sight. If every day was like this I think it would be just fine.
I sent the first paragraph to my Oldest Sister and she cracked up and said "I feel seen." So grateful that we didn't have any of these dinguses at our small gathering this year, but we've all met all of them at some point for sure.
That paragraph made me feel the same! As a youngest, I can proclaim without suspicion, there should be a national holiday honoring oldest daughters…except they’d have to do all the work anyway.
A couple years ago I told my husband that he's responsible for birthday and Christmas gifts for his parents and his brother, and I'm responsible for them for my parents and brother. Were there a couple annoying years where he was online on Dec. 24 trying to find meaningful gift cards or flowers that can be delivered that day? Do birthday presents get sent out late? Did his mom get annoyed at me for not reminding him or doing it myself? Yes to all that. But he never once has remembered my parents' birthdays or thought of a gift for them (we started dating in 2001 and married in 2005). And it's not because he doesn't care, it's because we're both terrible with dates and I finally couldn't take the extra remembering anymore. It was too much. We barely remember each other's birthdays. We've both forgotten our anniversary. And my family is pretty laid back but his is not. I got tired and had to draw the line somewhere.
I have a small family. I’m an only child, my father was an Only and he died 9 years ago. My mom had one sister who died in 2011. I have two first cousins who live far away. My husband has one brother who spends holidays with his bitch of an ex-wife. Thus, I invite friends who don’t have other places to go or who have tiny kitchens and can’t cook. I get to use my good china and silver and they get excellent food in a safe place. I rarely repeat recipes other than the Southern cornbread dressing that my grandmother taught me to make. (I do a better job on that, too.)
My two sons help me cook and clean. I’m feeling quite proud of myself today.
Sounds like a great gathering. You have a lot to be proud of.
Thank you!
We go to friends who have a tradition of opening up their home and table for friends who have no family to go to (or are estranged from). Everyone tends to bring a dish (but you don't have to!) and they provide the core meat'n'veg. It's always fun -- and much better than visiting family for it :)
That sounds lovely. I’m sure your people appreciate the safe and welcoming space you provide.
Thank you!
I no longer live in the States so Thursday was just another work day where I could wallow in the soft-focus memories of all the ideal Thanksgivings of my life.
Thank you for bringing me rudely back down to earth (and making me snort-laugh in the doctor’s waiting room) with this pitch-perfect tribute to family holiday dinners everywhere.
Great guest writer. She knows dingii.
I realize the non-cleaning dingii are mostly men, but two of my sisters are notorious never-helpers. As soon as the plates are collected, one has a very compelling reason she can't help; the older one had already left with a plate full of desserts.
That was true in our house, too. Men/boys always co-cooked and co-cleaned. One sister-in-law who had hosted Thanksgiving a few times apparently felt it was a lifetime deal and she was exempted from any further duties.
Males who don't cook and clean are missing out on great parts of being in a family.
We usually do not go to big family dinners but this year we attended a small family gathering. Thankfully we don't talk politics or religion. The teenagers were, predictably, awkward and grumpy but we let them be. I have to say it was a dingus-free day. Even our dog was a good guest, whew! Hostess isn't a dog person. She knows we're good dog parents so he's welcome, yay.
Being at the kids' table at Thanksgiving meant we didn't have to listen to 40 minutes of "Welsh genealogy" - otherwise known as parents and the aunts and uncles talking about people that they grew up with but we had never met. Fortunately, "may I please be excused" worked for those stuck at the adult table.
I’ve had it with Thanksgiving.🤣 Highlights from yesterday’s family Thanksgiving: three of Taylor’s dingii showed up; one 88yo grandmother stormed out; and the 24yo nephew uttered the words “sex toy” in front of the entire group.
Ah yes the young person saying something obviously inappropriate at the table dingus. Like my cousin when she was in high school talking about how drunk she got at prom and barfed all over the backseat of her car.
Love! 😂
My husband and I said to hell with it and came to a cute little lodge in Pine, AZ away from family. We made a thanksgiving feast using only a microwave! Steak (I know, not optimal, but not bad), sweet potato, and salad…on paper towels with wooden cutlery! 😂 #nodinguszone
Thoroughly enjoyable … and a good reminder that the weakest-minded of our adult species are the ones who pick on the kids. Also let’s ban diet culture forever. My god!
After several years of trying, we had a successful Restaurant Thanksgiving even though my mother, the guest of honor, was 45 minutes late.
Taylor, I will go to a family/friends/whoever dinner with you any time. Indeed! We must be the change.
My favorite comment is “Well, everyone who didnt help get the meal on the table is up for clearing and cleaning. If you hustle, you won’t miss the kick-off.”
We went to my church’s TG potluck. The spread was impressive. I invited my cousins because they lost power for a week after a storm and their generator broke after all that their fridge was completely rotten. My teenage daughter was an hour late because she had to do her make up then she showed up ate a huge plate of food and ran off to go have sex with her boyfriend. A guy who appears to have a crush on me made a big point of sitting next to me at our table which was flattering even though I’m off dating for good. We took my cousins’ little kids on a hike to behind the church after dinner, came back helped clean up and went home. My mom and I watched Fantastic Mr Fox. It was a nice day off work. I was grateful I only had to cook one thing and was therefore able to take my dog on a long walk in n the morning. There was not one single dingus in sight. If every day was like this I think it would be just fine.
I sent the first paragraph to my Oldest Sister and she cracked up and said "I feel seen." So grateful that we didn't have any of these dinguses at our small gathering this year, but we've all met all of them at some point for sure.
That paragraph made me feel the same! As a youngest, I can proclaim without suspicion, there should be a national holiday honoring oldest daughters…except they’d have to do all the work anyway.
Ha ha ha- my stepdaughter (in her mid-30s) said - can I help with the dishes? And I said, sure! But not a one did she do.
I love Naked Internet time, and thank you for all the call-outs of the invisible (and honestly highly visible) work that women do during the holidays.
A couple years ago I told my husband that he's responsible for birthday and Christmas gifts for his parents and his brother, and I'm responsible for them for my parents and brother. Were there a couple annoying years where he was online on Dec. 24 trying to find meaningful gift cards or flowers that can be delivered that day? Do birthday presents get sent out late? Did his mom get annoyed at me for not reminding him or doing it myself? Yes to all that. But he never once has remembered my parents' birthdays or thought of a gift for them (we started dating in 2001 and married in 2005). And it's not because he doesn't care, it's because we're both terrible with dates and I finally couldn't take the extra remembering anymore. It was too much. We barely remember each other's birthdays. We've both forgotten our anniversary. And my family is pretty laid back but his is not. I got tired and had to draw the line somewhere.