47 Comments

*Is it the trans agenda to eat Market Pantry chips and stay hydrated while looking really amazing? Apparently.* OMG Lyz, can you be any cooler or funnier, or working harder to make the world a better place? I think not. Thanks for supporting trans rights, sanity, women, etc. Please do not die during your 339 mile run. Off to donate to various causes.

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I am so disappointed that target doesn’t sell β€œsatan respects pronouns” merchandise 😩

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Absolute same.

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Pro tip: you can go on Etsy and find someone to make you an iron-on decal. I just ordered a rainbow foil one that says "MATTHEW 18:9", which is the verse about how if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. I'm gonna put it on the butt of a pair of shorts. and that'll be my going-to-pride wear :D

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I follow someone who ran for Tarrant County clerk in TX (she lost) who set up a Bonfire page. That sounds like something she would totally put on a shirt.

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Jun 2, 2023Liked by lyz

I would totally buy a "Satan Respects Oxford Commas" t-shirt

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I gotta get a merch store started

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sign me up for one of these!

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"... we are forty, we are cheap, and we are Midwestern moms." I recently chopped my longlong hair into a pretty short style and the feedback in the teens' group chat was that it was "so cute, giving Midwestern mom vibes" which was very funny and affirming to me. Thinking of changing my name to Joyce or Cheryl to match the new 'do.

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Jun 2, 2023Β·edited Jun 2, 2023Author

Turns out, moms knew what was correct this whole time

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BTW, can't recommend short hair strongly enough. Long hair turned out to be some kind of self-imposed tyranny. Nothing putting me into a summer state of mind like the sun kissing my neck and the breeze tousling my hair πŸ₯°

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lyz, thank you for pointing out that Biblically god created rainbows for all humanity as a promise not to destroy the earth again.!(we can do that just fine on our own, thank you.)

LGBTQAI+ community and their allies should point this out repeatedly. Rainbows are a Christian, thus religious, symbol. It doesn’t detract from the LGBTQAI+ community, but should bring people together.

It would also make it way more difficult to bar rainbows from schools and other public places.

I read you everyday and love your columns.

Good luck in the race!

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These people need to read the Bibles they use as weapons against other humans. Please and thank you.

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I kind of wonder if this is payback for all the pagan symbols Christians have co-opted, and Christians aren't having it. Or don't see the irony.

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Jun 2, 2023Liked by lyz

"So, happy Pride to everyone, but especially to the Keebler Elves. But only because while writing this I ate an entire package of their cookies."

Learning that Lyz and I have the same creative process πŸ™πŸ‘πŸ™‚πŸ’ͺ🌈

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This may be my most favorite "Dingus of the Week". It really brightened up my day (the humor, not the hateful people who are also idiots) and I really appreciate the list of "trans gear" to watch out for at Target. I have to protect my 11-yr-old daughter, don't I? I guess I should return the "boys" t-shirt I bought for her because I didn't realize it was "trans gear for children".

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Also, don't let her use a water bottle! That's how they get you!

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I appreciate your silliness and profoundness in each of the positive and negative portions. Way to go in Iowa. Looking forward to hearing more. I did 70 miles in my electric wheelchair on the Portuguese Camino de Santiago last May with 5 other 70+ers. https://health-hats.com/pod166

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I would argue that the dingus was also something good this edition. 10/10. I had to read almost every paragraph out loud for my wife while I cackled.

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thank you, Lyz, truly for this today. last weekend my mom sent me the link to some bonkers article about how Target is supporting a group that wants to secretly change kids' genders (thereby violating our tacit agreement to not talk politics unless she's drunk on the back porch and asking me what I think about critical race theory and I attempt to explain that it's graduate-level theory and you can't teach it to kindergarteners and then she forgets we've had that conversation) and I've been so mad at her all week. this was the cackle I needed.

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founding

Lyz. Lyz! One of my pet peeves is movies or teevee shows or stand-up that call themselves "comedies" while generating not so much as a smirk from me. There is (to invoke the Spinal Tap lads) a fine line between clever and stupid, and you vaulted right over that line directly to hilarious. Milk snorted through the nose and everything. Thank you. Laughing out loud unexpectedly is a gift. Please continue to give it.

Related, "the gods of Good and Gather" sound like the band who went on before Jane's Addiction at the 2003 Coachella. Clearly I've been spending too much time in Target's fake mustache aisles. Today's Dingus was therefore both fun and (for me, anyhow) educational. Are we paying you enough...? What would be enough?

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"Twelve married men? That’s the gay power of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

Praise be!

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I love you so much!!! This newsletter makes my heart happy, and I can't say that about alot of things I read these days. So glad Somebody Somewhere will have a 3rd season--that show makes my heart glad as well :D Good luck in your run!!! Xoxox

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David and Patrick β™₯️β™₯️

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😭😭😭😭

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Jun 2, 2023Liked by lyz

watching this scene made me cry all over again! 🌈❀️🌈

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I cried all day yesterday listening to the song on repeat.

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Forever and ever my favorite couple! Love their serenades to each other!

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πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸŒˆπŸŒˆπŸŒˆπŸŒˆπŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ¦„

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Also, I have to attend an 8th grade graduation at a Catholic church this afternoon and I don't think I'll be able to look the giant Jesus mural in the eye. Thanks ;-)

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founding

Just look at his boobs instead of his face. You should be OK.

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I mean, I'm kinda boycotting Target because they got rid of the plus-size section at our local store. I used to only complain that the clothes were ugly. But I will still go there if I need something. This has been a tough week for a number of reasons, and this post made me laugh and smile. My mom used to drink Carlo and Rossi rose with ice cubes. Gah. But being the kind of drinker I was (effect vs. flavor), I'd dip in. She was a Northwest mom. Our summer lake outings had a system - in case we capsized, Mom would hang on to the cooler, and we would hang onto Mom.

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