My resolution for 2023 was to be kinder. In general. It's the opposite of a SMART goal. (Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.) It was more of a DUMB goal. (Doable, Understandable, My own business and Better than nothing.) I more or less made it. I fought less with idiots and I gave people the benefit of the doubt more. My most successful resolutions have been fashion related. I once resolved to wear cute shoes more often, and another time vowed to wear colors more often rather than the black top/blue jean combo known to some as the Chicago Uniform. (I am some. So are my sisters and some coworkers.) But this year I have a different resolution. I'm going to be worse. I can't be more specific than that. Or maybe I can be but I am not going to try. (Hence, worse.)
“DUMB goal. (Doable, Understandable, My own business and Better than nothing.)”
This is going into my tool kit. We utilize SMART goals at work and it always feels like more work than the actual work! Thank you! This was so KIND of you . 🥰🤪
I hate SMART goals so much. I'd rather do a SWOT analysis of myself than write another goal at work. The idea that goal setting is the only way to motivate yourself is stupid.
We're doing annual evaluations as I type -- and it is like getting fussy children to rev down for a nap for evaluated and evaluator alike. Let's DUMB down together, please. The change begins with us!
I may recommend DUMB goals to my staff the next time I am forced to talk to them about goals. Not to discuss them with me! But like if they have something they want to work on themselves!
I'm going to get one of my graphics designer friends to put this together and I'll share the link when I get it up on Tee-Public or whatever. I do standup and I think I just wrote a new bit. DUMB goals for all!
Thank you for the new terminology, I am bookmarking this for my 2024 annual review. I had my 2023 one in November, and coming up with "a minimum of 3-5 SMART goals" felt like chewing on aluminum foil. I've been at the same place for 6 years, and in the same job classification*** for 3 of those; I do my job well, get along with my coworkers, and have a growth mindset. I don't seek promotion as I have no desire to be a manager (of people, that is; I manage plenty of processes!). Also, I'm in my mid-50s and have to stay under the radar while proving my "added value" in an organization that is overwhelmingly staffed and run by folks born after 1980. Just let me do my job, and pay me a decent wage so I can save more $$ for my retirement, which is not where it should be due to several unpaid years of being outside of waged labor due to caregiving. That's all I ask in return for my wage labor-- and that should be enough, under capitalism.
***I used the term "classification" instead of "role" because "role" just grates. There was a shift from "job/position" to "role" somewhere around the early 2000s, and not to anyone's benefit. Note to HR people: it's OK to use the word "job" when interviewing people--when you say, "What attracted you to this particular role?" or "What would you bring to this role?" it sounds rather silly. We are offering our labor in exchange for money to survive; we are not auditioning for a play. We are also aware that our "role" could be eliminated at any time for any reason and the "play" would carry on without us.
Hah! Regarding “role” - exactly! I think the same thing when I hear a store referring to shoppers as “guests” instead of customers. I’m giving you money in exchange for goods. If I were a guest you would invite me in for a free cup of coffee and cake and good conversation.
I always approach the new year like I brought a lottery ticket - which I only do when it’s insanely high and the odds of winning are ridiculously low. I know - DUMB! But I love thinking about which chore I’d divest myself from. Do I hire a housekeeper, personal chef or a chauffeur - I hate cooking so chef always wins but man would I love a more orderly house.
January is day dreaming month - we imagine where we’ll be, what we’ll be, and if you’re old “if we’ll be” . IMO - Daydreaming is the only good thing about January …. Besides MLK Day
Quite frankly I am fed up with the food industry, the medical industry, the health industry, and the wellness industry. It is clear that Americans don’t look like they did even 40 years ago. It’s also clear that we have plenty of help getting so unhealthy.
People are making a living off of shortening other people’s lives. The food industry with an assist by our government is poisoning us and the medical industry only gets paid if they treat illnesses. I get enraged just thinking about it. I am also so sad for young people with colon cancer and diseases they shouldn’t be getting for another 40 years.
Our worth shouldn’t come from a dress size, zip code or W2. Being healthy shouldn’t be so time consuming, confusing or expensive. So I co-sign everything you say with a small caveat: You’re not a sellout for wanting to look like the standard myth and it’s okay to want to be better.
Y’all this life isn’t a dress rehearsal. We get one body and it has to take us on the journey. Do what you want /can to stay healthy. There are so many ways to eat and exercise. Every body is different so figure out what works for you. No advice from me, I still am trying to figure out my own body. Take control of your mental, emotional and physical health but do it for yourself and your journey.
By my birthday (August) I want to be .... (still day dreaming)
turning 75 this year so my body is definitely wearing out. a good day is one when i can actually take a gentle walk. since i've always been very active, this is sure an adjustment but am working on acceptance. love your 'non-advice'. we do the best we can with what we have and treat ourselves with tenderness.
My long-term life goal is to keep skiing into my 80's. I'm 63. It's a big incentive to exercise regularly and try to eat healthy. I gave up alcohol in May as well and don't miss it at all now.
I’ll be 75 next month! I’m excited to still be walking my dog a lot and sitting on the floor with my grandkids. I get up very awkwardly but try to do as much as I can. Here we go into another year and I think can still hope this year will be better, I’ll move a little smoother in the morning, sleep a little better at night. Here’s to another year.
Being a union rep for years might've made me permanently cynical, but am I the only one that saw that Costco letter as a veiled threat to every other store manager? To me it reads like a "nice career you have here. Be a shame if something happened to it" kind of deal.
The owner has long said if his employees feel the need to unionize that’s fine, so he’s been committed to this bit for awhile. But it could be a long con.
Yes, same here from a long time union rep and grievance officer. The Costco letter sounded like a warning to management to watch out for any of those sneaky union people. I am hoping those Swedish workers can prevail over Tesla. What a wonderful thing to see so many other unions supporting the effort.
Wellness has been weaponized. If we are distracted by trying to improve only ourselves instead of taking part in community we don't see all that needs our attention, like local school boards and other offices, anti-union legislation (which my Dems contributed to during the neo-lib phase), and other critical issues. My self-improvement comes at a cost. This doesn't mean I shouldn't rest and take care of myself. Those can be radical acts. But wellness and self-improvement have become part of the beauty industrial complex. It reminds me of those old ads where a woman is wearing an evening gown and proclaims "I'm cleaning my oven!"
You'll know you've arrived for realz, Lyz, when Kim or any Kardashian empties YOUR dishwasher. And puts out your daily SAD vitamins. The big time, at last!
I've asked for a fucking break every year for my b-day, from 5th grade on, and the Hallmark god of withholding wishes has strategically declined to deliver on that. I've stepped up the campaign from annual to weekly requests. My rate of success is still the same and, like most of us, so is the need for said break. May we all get at least one thing we genuinely want in 2024. You choose!
My husband and I used the end of winter break to purge, deep clean, and paint our primary bathroom. This has been on the to-do list since October 2022. So I feel like I've already accomplished everything I need to do for this year. And I'm eating chocolate for lunch today so, new year, same me!
I gave up my ultra-low carb diet several months ago when I connected the lack of niacin in my diet to my worsening facial redness. It's winter, and I like fresh-baked bread and hearty stews, dammit! I'm tired of missing out. There's no influencer marketing in the world that's going to convince me cauliflower is a reasonable substitute for potatoes, rice, and pizza crust.
And, no, influencers, I'm pretty sure I don't have "25 pounds of toxic poop" in my colon that I need to use a spendy "cleanse" to resolve. I accidentally found out, decades ago, that apple juice and a bran muffin for breakfast will do just fine, thank you.
If there are covert FBI fitness Instagram influencer, they never bring them to DC. Never. The female FBI agents and analysts I know have “reasonably fit middle-aged lady bodies.” Better shape than me, but they have cellulite and slight pooches.
After the success of last year's resolution to "always pee before I leave". I am resolving this year to remember to bring the reuseable shopping bags from the car each time I shop.
Coming here to say the same. Men Yell At Me has saved my sanity several times this year! Thanks for all you do, Lyz. May 2024 be less batshit than we all fear it *might* be.
Sentences like this break my brain. Am I the only one that had trouble with correlations that include negatives? "Apparently not eating butter makes you want to leave your husband." Wouldn't that mean that eating butter would make you want to stay? See? Oh no... This is why I am not a math person.
Also for anyone who wants to dip your toe into some new music <3, there's a duo from Iowa called "Weary Ramblers" (Chad Elliot and Kathryn Severing Fox) who are incredible separately but magic together. They are always playing somewhere in the Midwest live.
"We are all just a mass of beautifully broken people, writhing into a new year, bringing ourselves with us." made me think of a song with lyrics "All my favorite people are broken" by one of my all-time favorite bands Over the Rhine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvs9SQH6G14
My resolution for 2023 was to be kinder. In general. It's the opposite of a SMART goal. (Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.) It was more of a DUMB goal. (Doable, Understandable, My own business and Better than nothing.) I more or less made it. I fought less with idiots and I gave people the benefit of the doubt more. My most successful resolutions have been fashion related. I once resolved to wear cute shoes more often, and another time vowed to wear colors more often rather than the black top/blue jean combo known to some as the Chicago Uniform. (I am some. So are my sisters and some coworkers.) But this year I have a different resolution. I'm going to be worse. I can't be more specific than that. Or maybe I can be but I am not going to try. (Hence, worse.)
“DUMB goal. (Doable, Understandable, My own business and Better than nothing.)”
This is going into my tool kit. We utilize SMART goals at work and it always feels like more work than the actual work! Thank you! This was so KIND of you . 🥰🤪
I hate SMART goals so much. I'd rather do a SWOT analysis of myself than write another goal at work. The idea that goal setting is the only way to motivate yourself is stupid.
We're doing annual evaluations as I type -- and it is like getting fussy children to rev down for a nap for evaluated and evaluator alike. Let's DUMB down together, please. The change begins with us!
I may recommend DUMB goals to my staff the next time I am forced to talk to them about goals. Not to discuss them with me! But like if they have something they want to work on themselves!
I’m in a University Leadership course - I’m taking DUMB goals back to the cohort this Friday!
You should think about marketing this. I could use this on a mouse pad or coffee cup! I never have enough coffee cups - it’s a sickness.
I'm going to get one of my graphics designer friends to put this together and I'll share the link when I get it up on Tee-Public or whatever. I do standup and I think I just wrote a new bit. DUMB goals for all!
DUMB goals for all - definitely a T shirt!
I'm actually taking a break from my SMART goal paperwork to read this column and now I want to replace them all with DUMB goals!
Thank you for the new terminology, I am bookmarking this for my 2024 annual review. I had my 2023 one in November, and coming up with "a minimum of 3-5 SMART goals" felt like chewing on aluminum foil. I've been at the same place for 6 years, and in the same job classification*** for 3 of those; I do my job well, get along with my coworkers, and have a growth mindset. I don't seek promotion as I have no desire to be a manager (of people, that is; I manage plenty of processes!). Also, I'm in my mid-50s and have to stay under the radar while proving my "added value" in an organization that is overwhelmingly staffed and run by folks born after 1980. Just let me do my job, and pay me a decent wage so I can save more $$ for my retirement, which is not where it should be due to several unpaid years of being outside of waged labor due to caregiving. That's all I ask in return for my wage labor-- and that should be enough, under capitalism.
***I used the term "classification" instead of "role" because "role" just grates. There was a shift from "job/position" to "role" somewhere around the early 2000s, and not to anyone's benefit. Note to HR people: it's OK to use the word "job" when interviewing people--when you say, "What attracted you to this particular role?" or "What would you bring to this role?" it sounds rather silly. We are offering our labor in exchange for money to survive; we are not auditioning for a play. We are also aware that our "role" could be eliminated at any time for any reason and the "play" would carry on without us.
Hah! Regarding “role” - exactly! I think the same thing when I hear a store referring to shoppers as “guests” instead of customers. I’m giving you money in exchange for goods. If I were a guest you would invite me in for a free cup of coffee and cake and good conversation.
OMG! I love this!!
I always approach the new year like I brought a lottery ticket - which I only do when it’s insanely high and the odds of winning are ridiculously low. I know - DUMB! But I love thinking about which chore I’d divest myself from. Do I hire a housekeeper, personal chef or a chauffeur - I hate cooking so chef always wins but man would I love a more orderly house.
January is day dreaming month - we imagine where we’ll be, what we’ll be, and if you’re old “if we’ll be” . IMO - Daydreaming is the only good thing about January …. Besides MLK Day
Quite frankly I am fed up with the food industry, the medical industry, the health industry, and the wellness industry. It is clear that Americans don’t look like they did even 40 years ago. It’s also clear that we have plenty of help getting so unhealthy.
People are making a living off of shortening other people’s lives. The food industry with an assist by our government is poisoning us and the medical industry only gets paid if they treat illnesses. I get enraged just thinking about it. I am also so sad for young people with colon cancer and diseases they shouldn’t be getting for another 40 years.
Our worth shouldn’t come from a dress size, zip code or W2. Being healthy shouldn’t be so time consuming, confusing or expensive. So I co-sign everything you say with a small caveat: You’re not a sellout for wanting to look like the standard myth and it’s okay to want to be better.
Y’all this life isn’t a dress rehearsal. We get one body and it has to take us on the journey. Do what you want /can to stay healthy. There are so many ways to eat and exercise. Every body is different so figure out what works for you. No advice from me, I still am trying to figure out my own body. Take control of your mental, emotional and physical health but do it for yourself and your journey.
By my birthday (August) I want to be .... (still day dreaming)
turning 75 this year so my body is definitely wearing out. a good day is one when i can actually take a gentle walk. since i've always been very active, this is sure an adjustment but am working on acceptance. love your 'non-advice'. we do the best we can with what we have and treat ourselves with tenderness.
Walking when I am 75 is life goals. Getting to 75 would be amazing. I want the longest journey possible with a working body.
My long-term life goal is to keep skiing into my 80's. I'm 63. It's a big incentive to exercise regularly and try to eat healthy. I gave up alcohol in May as well and don't miss it at all now.
wishing you well and cheering you on!
I’ll be 75 next month! I’m excited to still be walking my dog a lot and sitting on the floor with my grandkids. I get up very awkwardly but try to do as much as I can. Here we go into another year and I think can still hope this year will be better, I’ll move a little smoother in the morning, sleep a little better at night. Here’s to another year.
getting up from the floor usually involves crawling over to the nearest piece of furniture to hoist oneself up! we do what we have to :)
Yes!
Being a union rep for years might've made me permanently cynical, but am I the only one that saw that Costco letter as a veiled threat to every other store manager? To me it reads like a "nice career you have here. Be a shame if something happened to it" kind of deal.
This didn’t occur to me. You’ve earned the right to be suspicious
The owner has long said if his employees feel the need to unionize that’s fine, so he’s been committed to this bit for awhile. But it could be a long con.
I hope your take is correct; I'd much prefer this narrative to the cynical one in my head!
Yes, same here from a long time union rep and grievance officer. The Costco letter sounded like a warning to management to watch out for any of those sneaky union people. I am hoping those Swedish workers can prevail over Tesla. What a wonderful thing to see so many other unions supporting the effort.
Wellness has been weaponized. If we are distracted by trying to improve only ourselves instead of taking part in community we don't see all that needs our attention, like local school boards and other offices, anti-union legislation (which my Dems contributed to during the neo-lib phase), and other critical issues. My self-improvement comes at a cost. This doesn't mean I shouldn't rest and take care of myself. Those can be radical acts. But wellness and self-improvement have become part of the beauty industrial complex. It reminds me of those old ads where a woman is wearing an evening gown and proclaims "I'm cleaning my oven!"
I love the news about unions!
You'll know you've arrived for realz, Lyz, when Kim or any Kardashian empties YOUR dishwasher. And puts out your daily SAD vitamins. The big time, at last!
I've asked for a fucking break every year for my b-day, from 5th grade on, and the Hallmark god of withholding wishes has strategically declined to deliver on that. I've stepped up the campaign from annual to weekly requests. My rate of success is still the same and, like most of us, so is the need for said break. May we all get at least one thing we genuinely want in 2024. You choose!
God bless Kim Kardashian but I’d rather not have her empty my dishwasher unless I could write a hilarious newsletter about it.
My husband and I used the end of winter break to purge, deep clean, and paint our primary bathroom. This has been on the to-do list since October 2022. So I feel like I've already accomplished everything I need to do for this year. And I'm eating chocolate for lunch today so, new year, same me!
I gave up my ultra-low carb diet several months ago when I connected the lack of niacin in my diet to my worsening facial redness. It's winter, and I like fresh-baked bread and hearty stews, dammit! I'm tired of missing out. There's no influencer marketing in the world that's going to convince me cauliflower is a reasonable substitute for potatoes, rice, and pizza crust.
And, no, influencers, I'm pretty sure I don't have "25 pounds of toxic poop" in my colon that I need to use a spendy "cleanse" to resolve. I accidentally found out, decades ago, that apple juice and a bran muffin for breakfast will do just fine, thank you.
Your graphic, "New year, new you. Go to hell," made me laugh quite a bit, for which I thank you.
If there are covert FBI fitness Instagram influencer, they never bring them to DC. Never. The female FBI agents and analysts I know have “reasonably fit middle-aged lady bodies.” Better shape than me, but they have cellulite and slight pooches.
Oh, Lyz, you make me laugh. You'll be glad to know that most
of that desire for physical self-improvement just goes away with aging. A distinct benefit.
Also Caitlyn Clark!!! Iowa for the championship! (And I'm from IL)
Yes to it all and also because I am born of the Internet, I feel the need to respond to that image with this:
New New
Year, You
After the success of last year's resolution to "always pee before I leave". I am resolving this year to remember to bring the reuseable shopping bags from the car each time I shop.
I just really appreciate you. Happy new year.
Coming here to say the same. Men Yell At Me has saved my sanity several times this year! Thanks for all you do, Lyz. May 2024 be less batshit than we all fear it *might* be.
Sentences like this break my brain. Am I the only one that had trouble with correlations that include negatives? "Apparently not eating butter makes you want to leave your husband." Wouldn't that mean that eating butter would make you want to stay? See? Oh no... This is why I am not a math person.
Also for anyone who wants to dip your toe into some new music <3, there's a duo from Iowa called "Weary Ramblers" (Chad Elliot and Kathryn Severing Fox) who are incredible separately but magic together. They are always playing somewhere in the Midwest live.
"We are all just a mass of beautifully broken people, writhing into a new year, bringing ourselves with us." made me think of a song with lyrics "All my favorite people are broken" by one of my all-time favorite bands Over the Rhine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvs9SQH6G14
An excerpt of lyrics:
All my favorite people are broken
Believe me
My heart should know
(As for) your tender heart—
This world's gonna rip it wide open
It ain't gonna be pretty
But you're not alone