58 Comments

Great Dingus call, Lyz!

JD Vance is a fraud POS. He's prostituted all of his self dignity and intelligence to get on the Trump ticket. He's another asshat who benefitted from US government largess (education benefits and a nice resume from an enlisted stint in the USMC) and wrote a book about how people taking government benefits in Appalachia are undeserving losers. He leveraged his Ohio State degree, JD out of Yale and crappy book to make a ton of money and a name for himself in the GOP but then he publicly decries higher education as (literally) "the enemy." You see, Lyz, it's not HIS higher education that's the enemy. It's higher education that lifts and liberates women and minorities that's Vance's and the GOP's problem.

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" ... the false prophet of American exceptionalism." Lyz, you're a national treasure.

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A dingus among dinguses. One upside for JD Vance is that people are generally talking less about his truly awful policy positions, though that would also lead to his star being on the recline. I'm sure he's sofa king tired of couch jokes, but I am not. In fact, I predict that he's going to go almost as far in the next Dingus of the Week bracket tournament as he has with a loveseat.

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Jul 26Author

He's gonna continue dingusing for a while now. He has the opposite of charisma which is like digusisma...is that a thing? Still workshopping it

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Jul 26Liked by lyz

Can we start the nominations today, with him? ;)

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I remember every Republican campaign since 1972. I have a particularly clear memory of Max Cleland, who lost an arm and both legs in Vietnam, being called ,’pro-terrorist.’ Then we have the Swiftboaters, the Birthers, the Sandy Hook monsters, ‘but her emails,’ etc. So, JD, karma’s a real bitch, huh?

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Do you think he forced that davenport to carry the fetus to term? Asking for a friend.

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author
Jul 26Author

there is a hide-a-bed joke here somewhere but I'm too rusty

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founding

Jesus Murphy...

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I only know who J.D. Vance is because the podcast If Books Could Kill featured Hillbilly Elegy some months back. And wouldn't you know it? They just did a re-release of the episode for anyone who wants context without having to actually read this terrible book! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/breaking-news-re-release-hillbilly-elegy/id1651876897?i=1000662457355

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Re-listened to it yesterday and thought "oh, yeah! If he *had* said he's fucked a couch, they would have been all over it!"

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They absolutely would have.

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Queued that episode up!

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It's a good 'un!

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actually, i did read 'hillbilly elegy' and my immediate reaction was that i understood why certain people vote for he-who-shall-not-be-named. vance's dysfunctional family has the same characteristics - the anger, the blaming, the chaotic emotional reactions to everything. when you grow up in that environment then that is behaviour that is 'normal.' so it looks and sounds familiar and you are just fine with voting for it because, hey, that's what you know and expect. which is sad.

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founding
Jul 26Liked by lyz

"I came back from vacation this week only to have a brat hit me on the head with a coconut."

“Oh yes, please. I’d love to have a bunch of car salesmen cosplaying in camo storm the Capitol trying to put my head in a noose. Sign me up!”

"If you have just fallen out of a coconut tree..."

"Essentially, like all porn, it wasn’t real..."

You are on fire, Lyz! Vacations are a GOOD thing! Welcome back!

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Jul 26Liked by lyz

I was so hoping you'd choose this fuckball for Dingus of the Week!!! I love you so much, Lyz! Xoxox

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Jul 26Author

I am but a servant of the people

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Y'all absolutely HAVE to go follow #HeAintFromHere. I have never been more proud to be a Kentucky native. And if you need an interpreter for the Kentucky-specific humor, I live to serve.

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I keep telling my couch that it’s ok, we live in California, but she has relegated all male guests to the dog beds. Dog beds are not happy about it!

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WHO ELSE COULD IT BE

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Jul 26Author

some weeks I pick the dingus, some weeks the dingus picks me

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founding

You know what's really depressing? In the context of his time, LBJ was the most progressive president in my lifetime.

And, without question, the most effective Democratic politician.

Yeah, I know he was corrupt and a liar. Still ...

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I didn't know much about LBJ until I went to his Pres museum in Austin back in March. Who would have thought a Texan would be a champion of civil rights? But damn, he sure was and for that, I'll look away from the corruption stuff.

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founding

I believe his time as a HS teacher had a lot to do with it. It wasn't long, but he was young, and it seems to have made an impression.

https://trta.org/retirement/how-being-a-teacher-taught-lbj-to-fight-for-civil-rights/

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Jul 26Liked by lyz

If you haven't had lobster roll in Maine, you haven't lived. And blueberry pie. Good on you Lyz.

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My husband is loving the fact that a German news broadcast pronounced his name as "wantz," so now in our household he's known as Shady Wantz. Please, spread far and wide.

Also, I want a meme that says "they call us groomers, but have you seen how they groom themselves?" with pictures of the Orange Combover, RNC convention Gaetz, and Guyliner Shady Wantz.

Loving that the Harris campaign is leaning hard on Drumpf being "weird." Yeah. Sure is!

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I'm going to be honest, reading this is how I found out that Vance did not have a couch fucking scene in his book! I'm currently at the beach with my family, so I'm taking this as a disconnecting win on my part.

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Jul 26Author

It’s not in the book, but the point is we can’t know that he didn’t actually fuck a couch. Have a wonderful vacation!!

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See my comment above listing 25 years of Republican lies. Turnabout’s fair play JD!

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Vance is such a dingus I would swear this is his second time as the official dingus. This week has been such a welcome change from the previous weeks. Some joy is getting sparked and I'm here for it.

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