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Beau!'s avatar

In my opinion the governor of CT took all the fun out of "The Gulf of Connecticut" when he started joking about it.

Also Dingus Freakin' Madness let's go! I can't wait to see how the votes play out for this first round and hope everyone has fun with it this year.

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lyz's avatar

The match ups are really hard. Like Gerontocracy v. Climate Change deniers?! TOUGH GAME

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Casey Kelly's avatar

"They're the same picture"

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Connie C's avatar

I deleted both Google and Apple Maps. I deleted Google’s search engine and am using DuckDuckGo, as I have for years on my PC. I opened an accounton Proton Mail, but havent deleted my Gmail, which I’ve had for 20 years, yet. Can anyone recommend a map app that hasn’t caved?

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Toni McLellan's avatar

FYI Proton leadership has also bent the knee. It's gonna be hard to find an ethical tech company.

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Connie C's avatar

Proton continues to be privacy focused, which is my main concern.

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lyz's avatar

So here is how I am feeling, is that companies are not in fact people, despite what the Supreme Court says. And we cannot expect them to espouse any values other than making money. This is why, when people demand I or others abandon platforms, I understand and listen, but I am also aware that at some point if that logic is applied evenly, we will be run out of online life altogether. I realize we are all doing the best we can but the reality is virtue is not in the eye of the shareholders.

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Connie C's avatar

I take your meaning, and that’s why I’m still on FB. Cancelled IG, though. But privacy is my main concern. I’ve been happy with DuckDuckGo for years. Their privacy controls are superior to Google’s, at least that’s what I’ve read on tech sources. The map issue really bothers me, though. They didn’t have to do it. To me that indicates that they would roll over on anything. Access to our searches, our email, whatever. I’m having a hard time living with that.

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lyz's avatar

It's all a mess and we are all doing the best we can.

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Karen's avatar

I am keeping my Gmail account and sending weekly complaints to Google as one of their customers about the dumb name change.

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Cathleen's avatar

Mapquest hasn't caved. I deleted Google and Apple Maps today, too and installed Mapquest on my phone. I feel like I've been brought back to 1998, but whatever, it is a map on my phone that works.

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Connie C's avatar

Great, thanks!

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Esmae for now's avatar

YK Hong here on Substack specializes in tech privacy stuff! definitely check out their work

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Janelle's avatar

I hate Mitch…what a hypocritical POS.

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Toni McLellan's avatar

LYZ OMFG "Pound his hands repeatedly on the Resolute Desk until Elon Musk’s son gets shaken baby syndrome?" I scared my family CACKLING at this. Thank you for the laughs while also going deep into the importance of language at the same time.

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lyz's avatar

Thank you! I am hoping I don't get canceled (again) for that joke.

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Toni McLellan's avatar

I'll save you a comfy seat in hell.

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Karen's avatar

I actually read it the first time as “Elon gets shaken baby syndrome” and thought that was even funnier than the correct version, which also inspired me to laugh out loud.

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gayle carper's avatar

Same here. And banmanas? I will be laughing all day over this one.Wow, wouldn't you love to see how lyz comes up with this stuff?

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Toni McLellan's avatar

Banmanas was also a SOLID joke. Sadly also plausible in this timeline.

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lyz's avatar

It involves a lot of pacing and muttering and laughing to myself. TBH if I didn't have a newsletter I'd be in prison

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Kris Jackson's avatar

I just discovered Please, please, please last Sunday and wrote about it last night! Also, the number one rule of fighting fascism is DO NOT COMPLY IN ADVANCE. Sigh. But I guess expecting billionaires to be on the right side of history is naive.

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Karen's avatar

I’m going to go ahead and submit my home state of Texas for Dingus next week based on the fact that Texans dominated the first round of Dingus Madness. There were, by my count, five horrible residents of Texas in that list, three more than the runner-up state of New York. So, Texas, shape the fuck up now! Producing Dingi does not employ nearly as many people as renewable energy since Dingi never actually need anyone else in their self-production. So, help our economy and stop the Dingus production line here!

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Nonymous's avatar

Mitch McConnell is so infuriating to me for so, so many reasons. But the fact that he bears so much responsibility for this mess we're in, and NOW he's trying to pretend like he's a hero? It's so obvious to me he's desperate to burnish his legacy because he's acutely aware that history will not be kind to him, and deservedly so.

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Carla's avatar

Agree. Too little too late, Turtle.

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Todd Mason's avatar

What also shouldn't be forgotten is how much he hates Don-Boy, for personal as well as slighter policy reasons.

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Roxy Coryell's avatar

Another perfect pick for DOTW! I so look forward to this newsletter, and thank you with all my heart for it!!! xo

Many thanks to Beau Anderson for putting together Dingus Madness, too--something else I really look forward to!!! And what a stellar array of dingi we have this year! I especially love that Beau put pictures of them up with the links! So much more satisfying to vote for a smiling (or not!) assclown than just a typed name! :D

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Rebecca's avatar

Ted Cruz vs Corn Sweat? What is a current Texan former Nebraskan to do????

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Beau!'s avatar

When else would you get to happily vote *for* Ted Cruz? Only in the Dingus Madness poll!

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StellaH's avatar

That meme hits hard for long islanders too! I cracked up! As someone who swam in the Long Island sound my whole childhood, saying the Connecticut Sound was freaky!!!

I got to work made my cup of tea, opened my phone and the banner announcing the new Dingus popped up immediately- a great start to a Friday! Thanks Lyz! ⭐️

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Becky G's avatar

My kids love to kick my ass in Mario Kart.

When I saw that shovel? I knew exactly what they had in the back of that pickup. My daughter loves SC. I'll have to surprise her and ask if she's seen the video.

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I’ve Really Seen Enough's avatar

History will record that Republicans senators confirmed a drug-addict, brain-worm damaged, vaccine-denying, racist conspiracy-propagating lawyer to lead the largest and most advanced national health organization in the world. There is no bottom to this national nightmare. It can get worse, and daily it DOES get worse. Don’t think Trump will destroy the economy by imposing stupid tariffs that went out of style in the 1920s? Think again. Don’t think Trump will trade justice for favors? Talk to Eric Adams. Don’t think Trump will force Canada to yield to imperial expansion? I recommend you not send your kids to the Army right now. Don’t think Trump will undermine NATO and the EU and betray Ukraine, a white Christian European democracy? Call Zelensky. Don’t think Trump will ban abortion nationally? Get Speaker Johnson’s notes for the big omnibus budget reconciliation bill.

Evil days are on good Americans and the world that we built.

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Giuliana Amidala's avatar

Agree 100% I can't help thinking that Trump's cabinet picks are Putin's dream team.

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Galen Guffy's avatar

I’m totally shipping you and Pedro, rn, Lyz. He should be so lucky. Happy GALentines Day, everyone. ❤️

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Callie Palmer's avatar

Your snow wolf is very cute, and looks very happy.

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Laura's avatar

banMANas! I'm crying!!!!!!!!! Lyz you are a comedic (and all-around) genius. Thank you, as always, for making me cry from laughing rather than from despair for once this god-forsaken week.

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lyz's avatar

I was literally pacing my office muttering goofy food words that I could change to sound more masculine. Papaya, kumquat....it's SERIOUS BUSINESS!

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Rebecca Zlochower's avatar

I'm almost afraid to find out what you would fo with kumquat

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LA Bourgeois's avatar

Almost...but what a word it could be!!

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Sarah W's avatar

I laughed out loud at corn sweat v Ted Cruz. And thank you, I needed a healthy laugh instead of my usual maniacal "WTF is going on" laugh.

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