Yes to all this!!!! Divorcing and being a single mom was the best decision I ever made for myself and my children. I did remarry after several years on my own and you're so right- even in a good marriage I am carrying an unequal amount of the labor (physical and emotional) and that does not feel like freedom.
And ...
You write- "Some arguments in favor of childless cat ladies emphasize the care work they do for the people around them and their communities, but that also misses the point. "
I wonder about a world in which men, single or not, were held to this standard of contributing positively to community. It might feel less oppressive if we all lived in the collective.
"I wonder about a world in which men, single or not, were held to this standard of contributing positively to community. It might feel less oppressive if we all lived in the collective."
I fear it might be easier to coax the sun to rise in the west in order to more equitably distribute daylight.
I am not a mom, but as a single, independent woman, I seem to repel all men except a certain age group about ten years older than me who want an independent, self supporting, intelligent woman…so they can try to break her. It is remarkable, really, how many men tried this with me, and they are OBVIOUS about it!
I finally gave up on finding a man who views me as an equal. This is even though I was more successful than many men, lived an interesting life, made my own independent money, retired early, and now travel in an RV - all on my own dime. There is a certain type of man who views all this as a challenge. They seem to think that I am so desperate for a man that I will play along and debase myself for them and give up my happy freedom.
They HATE to see a woman happily living a great life with no need for a man and want to stomp us down. I stopped dating a while ago, mostly because I didn't get anything out of the relationships.
I believe at least three men told me they LOVED that I was so independent and self sufficient...until they realized that I didn't need them and they were not at the center of my life. Then, they wanted me to be less independent. I opened up their futures to ruin some other woman's life.
And many get SO angry that we won't just settle for what little they have to offer. It is frightening and I see it getting worse before it gets better.
100%. Apparently male violence against women is on the rise thanks to all the red pill content spread across the internet. Men blame feminism for why no one wants to date them, rather than looking at themselves. Scary
I’ve been married for 40 years to a good, honest, and ethical man. He was (is) a great father and wonderful grandad. We love each other - and still like one another. We have always given the other a lot of freedom to travel alone, pursue education, and the like. I know how fortunate I am, believe me.
All that to say: I have so little respect for about 80% of men. They’ve been getting away with doing the bare minimum in most aspects of a relationship all their fucking lives. They’re so entitled they refuse to even admit it…they blame ‘feminism’. They’re just disappointments to their wives and even their children in so many families. Younger men (30s) seem to be less misogynistic and much more willing to do their share of home and child duties…but we live in CA so maybe my experience is different than it would be in, say, Louisiana.
I had no intention of being married or having kids, as my siblings and I were raised by a single mom - a waitress - in the 60s. Being married looked bad (violence) and single motherhood not so great either (poverty). I don’t know how things worked out for my husband and I, honestly. Dumb luck, probably.
I was raised by a single mother. Leaving my dad was by far the best thing that could have happened. Everything became more solid and predictable. My mother, my brother and I were all happier. Living without a mate is far better than living in misery. My mother was outstanding as a single mom and I appreciate everything she did, most especially when it was tough.
Single motherhood is hard, exhausting, and often lonely, but so was being married and partnered. I'm not hostile to compromise, which I feel like is part of the accusation leveled at intentionally single women. It's implied in being labeled "selfish", as if you are incapable or unwilling to consider anyone else in your daily decision making. But it's impossible to engage in healthy compromise with someone who negotiates in bad faith, and unconscious male entitlement inevitably leads to bad faith negotiation. Also betrayal, which I'm free of as an intentionally single woman.
Freedom, really. That's what it comes down to. Would I like to imagine it's possible to be both free and romantically partnered? Sure. But I have yet to see that exist within the context of patriarchy and I'll take freedom any day.
"I'd rather eat garbage out of a dumpster than to eat his shit for 10 more seconds in my life." That has been my mantra for 29 years. I raised three kids alone. I was better off. They were better off. It's been hard at times, but life can be hard sometimes. I have literally no regrets about leaving and not remarrying.
While I have never been in a relationship with a man, the singledom following the end of two previous relationships I have been in were some of the happiest of my life. In the case of both, I didn't realise how much emotional and physical labour I was doing until I suddenly didn't have to do it to avoid conflict and upset in the house, and instead could just do it if I wanted (Oh, rearranging the furniture in this room might be fun) or need to (a person has to eat and laundry eventually does need to be done).
After the second break up I stopped thinking of an intimate romantic relationship as necessary in life and as something that needed to be a cherry on top happenstance. If it happens, it's not because of ticking off some bucket list achievement society says we all need to feel fulfilled. It's more: Oh wow, I found another human I'm so deeply compatible with that co-habitating is FUN and ENJOYABLE actually.
Love this so much, Lyz! In 1986 I became a single mother by choice, which was both the best and the most arrogant decision I've ever made. It wasn't easy, but simpler in many ways than doing it with a husband, as most of my friends did. And I had stopped centering men and romantic relationships, in favor of parenting and building a sustainable business. At 73, I have a good relationship with my son and ultimate freedom: retirement!
I have not divorced my husband, but I did leave him about 15 years ago. I remember meeting some women at a party shortly after our separation. Several of them were also in miserable marriages. One of them whispered that she "wasn't brave enough" to leave. I understood that. I did not leave until the frequent panic attacks helped me realise that my marriage was killing me. In Sweden, unmarried partners are called "sambo" if they live together and "särbo" if they live apart. I can stay married to my husband because we do not live together. Honestly, I expected we would get divorced eventually. I support the happily divorced and the happily single, unmarried people out there. I wish Americans would get over their fear of single women. Which is to say, I wish the patriarchy and white supremacy were already burned to the ground. I don't know how to make it happen but Lyz, your efforts are surely helping us get there. Thanks!
I'm not single (happily married for 39 years) and I'm not a cat lady, but I am childless (not by choice). I love your observation about the emphasis on care work for people who don't have children, and your comment that "Women should not have to justify their existence, whether they are childless, or with children and unpartnered. Women get to just exist however they want to."
I can't tell you how many childless-not-by-choice women I have encountered over the years who feel like they have to do something big and spectacular and extraordinary with their lives just because they don't have children (as a kind of "compensation" for that absence). And I mean, if you really truly want to climb that corporate ladder as far as you can, or run off to India to work in an orphanage, or take a six-month trip around the Caribbean in a sailboat -- hey, go for it -- but no one should feel they SHOULD or MUST do something like that, simply because they have that space in their lives, because they don't have children. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a quiet life, doing things you love to do.
One childless friend keeps getting asked why she & her husband don't travel more, and she says "I've had enough drama to last a lifetime (infertility, loss, etc.). I'm happy just to sit at home with my cats and knit." More power to her. :)
I am a childless cat lady. And I’m a dog person too. 2 of each. I don’t do anything to care for others. I work in banking and don’t do any charitable work. I do donate to several charities, mostly to animal ones and saving our oceans and planet. I don’t have a man or significant other. I don’t want one. I’m happy at home. I have a Glock 19, a Louisville slugger, 2 cans of mace, and 1 of my dogs will rip an intruder’s face off if the occasion requires. Jd and others like him can think whatever they want. They just need to stay out of my way. Assholes.
Today the UK Guardian newspaper published an article on the # women killed in the UK so far this year, the majority by men they knew: boyfriends, husbands, ex's, etc. And after reading it I thought "society" not only doesn't have the right to dictate what women (single, married, whatever) should or shouldn't do, it doesn't even deserve the contributions women provide today until it does more to reduce both the physical and online violence experienced by women everywhere everyday. If politicians really want to fix "society", this would be a good place to start because their attempts so far are pathetic. But it's never about that, is it? It's always about "fixing" women.
The critics give themselves away because if they were truly concerned about the societal outcomes, the ones they'd be scolding are the men. If a man were a net positive to the household, he'd probably still be around, but as you and many others so convincingly argue, far more often he is a net negative. And asking a woman to tolerate that is not acceptable.
Surely women have the right to be every bit as free as men are. And to choose to do it alone. Although there's not much of a choice, when the only alternative is 'regressive ideas of partnership'. That said, I have no doubt that many women are quite happy being on their own.
As I think is usual, the prevailing attitudes have it all backwards. It's not the single women, whether with or without children, we should be worried about. If we're uncomfortable with freedom, it's because it's the men who are a problem when they are left to their own devices. And that's not women's responsibility to fix (contrary to what the critics are so clearly saying). Men need to start earning their place; we seem to be failing miserably at that right now. Or else learn to be happy alone. Pointing fingers at the women is the exact wrong and most counterproductive thing to be doing.
That's the only way for civilization to move forward. Right now we're in the men throwing temper tantrums instead phase, and as we can all see it's quite ugly. 🤞 that sanity eventually wins out, rather than massive violence.
Honestly, I think we will see violence before we see sanity. I and other friends have been verbally attacked for not wanting to date certain men. I know women who have been physically assaulted for turning down men....and heard of many others. Those that tried to press charges against the men are not taken seriously. It is VERY similar to the treatment of women (me included) when they try to report a rape. What were you wearing, had you been drinking, you must have done SOMETHING to cause it....
We have all heard it and it is true: Men are afraid women will laugh at them and women are afraid men will kill them.
Yes. That's what worries me. Lyz and others offer a path of life and happiness to women that is an alternative to the patriarchy. I fear that too many men have no intention to just let women be, and that's why we're seeing the global rise in fascism right now. I understand that Lyz and others have already wasted far too much time and effort concerning themselves with men in their one and only life to live, but I honestly am not sure what the feminist strategy is to deal with violence and force on a much larger scale, and it scares me.
My single parenting years were difficult, but nowhere NEAR as difficult as my married years. I was lonely, exhausted, worried, and constantly financially strapped when I was solo parenting, but I was MUCH better off without the chaos and strain of managing my ex husband 24/7 (my third child I always called him). Now that my two kids are grown and independent, they recognize that my decision to leave and set up shop on my own was a sound one. They call me "the pattern breaker" and are proud of me for stepping out from under an oppressive, dysfunctional and unfair situation. They don't resent their dad, but they do recognize that he failed us in certain ways. I recently found a new partner and he's light years different from my ex husband. Considerate, capable, reliable, and steady as the day is long. It feels like a freaking miracle but it CAN happen! I was fine on my own and absolutely needed to be the sole captain of my fate for awhile. But I am just ecstatic that I did meet my current partner and we are building a life together as our "third act". I am a lucky girl indeed.
When I was growing up my 4 aunties (all of whom were married, only one of whom seemed to be married to a man that wasn't horrible), told me repeatedly, "Don't get married until you're 30." I'm just realizing that was their 1980's version of, "Don't get married," but it was unthinkable to not get married at that time, and of course, beyond. And yes, now, still unthinkable in certain circles. Thank you for normalizing just saying no to marriage, Lyz. You're a real Nancy Reagan for our times. ;)
Grown women know damn well that any relationship takes work, but that's not what people mean when they start throwing around the whole "marriage takes work" bullshit. What they really mean by that is women should put up with men's crap as that's the role society has done its best to assign us. I think this story from my own life offers a neat crystallization: During the process of my divorce the court made me meet with some type of male mediator, who questioned me about why I wanted the divorce. I tearfully told him about the emotional abuse I'd suffered at my ex's hands and how my ex agreed to therapy but only went to a couple of sessions and never changed his behavior. When I was done, the court official gently asked me if I'd ever tried being nicer to my husband.
The bias in the system is a feature, not a bug. It's no wonder that the men who seek to dominate women are enraged by the idea that some women are able to walk away and blaze their own trail. It's not up to women to fix this system, it's up to men. And until they do they really shouldn't be surprised when women refuse to participate.
I do think men probably need women's input to fix it (and fix ourselves) - we often need to be told what to do! - but that means the very first thing is that men need to learn to listen. There's not a lot of hope until that happens, and one can hardly blame women for being cautious about providing input when men so often react so violently.
Shulamith Firestone! Wonderful to see her work referenced in yours, Lyz.
The central thesis of Dialectics, as I remember it, is that true liberation will only happen once technology can relieve women of the burden of pregnancy and childbirth. I had mixed feelings about that thesis, and I’m curious what you & others might think about it. I’m 67 and child-free by choice, btw.
"...true liberation will only happen once technology can relieve women of the burden of pregnancy and childbirth"
Interesting, this brought into my mind a quote from Gloria Steinem: "We will have reached true equality when there are women in positions of power as incompetent as the men who occupy those positions now" <I'm paraphrasing here.
Also, this one from Gloria: "Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom."
Yes to all this!!!! Divorcing and being a single mom was the best decision I ever made for myself and my children. I did remarry after several years on my own and you're so right- even in a good marriage I am carrying an unequal amount of the labor (physical and emotional) and that does not feel like freedom.
And ...
You write- "Some arguments in favor of childless cat ladies emphasize the care work they do for the people around them and their communities, but that also misses the point. "
I wonder about a world in which men, single or not, were held to this standard of contributing positively to community. It might feel less oppressive if we all lived in the collective.
"I wonder about a world in which men, single or not, were held to this standard of contributing positively to community. It might feel less oppressive if we all lived in the collective."
I fear it might be easier to coax the sun to rise in the west in order to more equitably distribute daylight.
I am not a mom, but as a single, independent woman, I seem to repel all men except a certain age group about ten years older than me who want an independent, self supporting, intelligent woman…so they can try to break her. It is remarkable, really, how many men tried this with me, and they are OBVIOUS about it!
I finally gave up on finding a man who views me as an equal. This is even though I was more successful than many men, lived an interesting life, made my own independent money, retired early, and now travel in an RV - all on my own dime. There is a certain type of man who views all this as a challenge. They seem to think that I am so desperate for a man that I will play along and debase myself for them and give up my happy freedom.
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Same!! We're catnip for the guys who want to destroy a capable woman for sport. I gave up on dating too
They HATE to see a woman happily living a great life with no need for a man and want to stomp us down. I stopped dating a while ago, mostly because I didn't get anything out of the relationships.
I believe at least three men told me they LOVED that I was so independent and self sufficient...until they realized that I didn't need them and they were not at the center of my life. Then, they wanted me to be less independent. I opened up their futures to ruin some other woman's life.
Bingo. They love it until they don't. Once they realize they have to step their own shit up, it's over.
And many get SO angry that we won't just settle for what little they have to offer. It is frightening and I see it getting worse before it gets better.
100%. Apparently male violence against women is on the rise thanks to all the red pill content spread across the internet. Men blame feminism for why no one wants to date them, rather than looking at themselves. Scary
Feminism means no woman wants to be a brood slave to some chud who lives in moms basement and faps their baloney to My Little Pony.
I’ve been married for 40 years to a good, honest, and ethical man. He was (is) a great father and wonderful grandad. We love each other - and still like one another. We have always given the other a lot of freedom to travel alone, pursue education, and the like. I know how fortunate I am, believe me.
All that to say: I have so little respect for about 80% of men. They’ve been getting away with doing the bare minimum in most aspects of a relationship all their fucking lives. They’re so entitled they refuse to even admit it…they blame ‘feminism’. They’re just disappointments to their wives and even their children in so many families. Younger men (30s) seem to be less misogynistic and much more willing to do their share of home and child duties…but we live in CA so maybe my experience is different than it would be in, say, Louisiana.
I had no intention of being married or having kids, as my siblings and I were raised by a single mom - a waitress - in the 60s. Being married looked bad (violence) and single motherhood not so great either (poverty). I don’t know how things worked out for my husband and I, honestly. Dumb luck, probably.
I was raised by a single mother. Leaving my dad was by far the best thing that could have happened. Everything became more solid and predictable. My mother, my brother and I were all happier. Living without a mate is far better than living in misery. My mother was outstanding as a single mom and I appreciate everything she did, most especially when it was tough.
What a great testimony! Thank you for posting this.
Single motherhood is hard, exhausting, and often lonely, but so was being married and partnered. I'm not hostile to compromise, which I feel like is part of the accusation leveled at intentionally single women. It's implied in being labeled "selfish", as if you are incapable or unwilling to consider anyone else in your daily decision making. But it's impossible to engage in healthy compromise with someone who negotiates in bad faith, and unconscious male entitlement inevitably leads to bad faith negotiation. Also betrayal, which I'm free of as an intentionally single woman.
Freedom, really. That's what it comes down to. Would I like to imagine it's possible to be both free and romantically partnered? Sure. But I have yet to see that exist within the context of patriarchy and I'll take freedom any day.
"I'd rather eat garbage out of a dumpster than to eat his shit for 10 more seconds in my life." That has been my mantra for 29 years. I raised three kids alone. I was better off. They were better off. It's been hard at times, but life can be hard sometimes. I have literally no regrets about leaving and not remarrying.
While I have never been in a relationship with a man, the singledom following the end of two previous relationships I have been in were some of the happiest of my life. In the case of both, I didn't realise how much emotional and physical labour I was doing until I suddenly didn't have to do it to avoid conflict and upset in the house, and instead could just do it if I wanted (Oh, rearranging the furniture in this room might be fun) or need to (a person has to eat and laundry eventually does need to be done).
After the second break up I stopped thinking of an intimate romantic relationship as necessary in life and as something that needed to be a cherry on top happenstance. If it happens, it's not because of ticking off some bucket list achievement society says we all need to feel fulfilled. It's more: Oh wow, I found another human I'm so deeply compatible with that co-habitating is FUN and ENJOYABLE actually.
47 year old male no wife no kids and no need. Seems more more exhausting bullshit that never bring anything positive.
Love this so much, Lyz! In 1986 I became a single mother by choice, which was both the best and the most arrogant decision I've ever made. It wasn't easy, but simpler in many ways than doing it with a husband, as most of my friends did. And I had stopped centering men and romantic relationships, in favor of parenting and building a sustainable business. At 73, I have a good relationship with my son and ultimate freedom: retirement!
I have not divorced my husband, but I did leave him about 15 years ago. I remember meeting some women at a party shortly after our separation. Several of them were also in miserable marriages. One of them whispered that she "wasn't brave enough" to leave. I understood that. I did not leave until the frequent panic attacks helped me realise that my marriage was killing me. In Sweden, unmarried partners are called "sambo" if they live together and "särbo" if they live apart. I can stay married to my husband because we do not live together. Honestly, I expected we would get divorced eventually. I support the happily divorced and the happily single, unmarried people out there. I wish Americans would get over their fear of single women. Which is to say, I wish the patriarchy and white supremacy were already burned to the ground. I don't know how to make it happen but Lyz, your efforts are surely helping us get there. Thanks!
I'm not single (happily married for 39 years) and I'm not a cat lady, but I am childless (not by choice). I love your observation about the emphasis on care work for people who don't have children, and your comment that "Women should not have to justify their existence, whether they are childless, or with children and unpartnered. Women get to just exist however they want to."
I can't tell you how many childless-not-by-choice women I have encountered over the years who feel like they have to do something big and spectacular and extraordinary with their lives just because they don't have children (as a kind of "compensation" for that absence). And I mean, if you really truly want to climb that corporate ladder as far as you can, or run off to India to work in an orphanage, or take a six-month trip around the Caribbean in a sailboat -- hey, go for it -- but no one should feel they SHOULD or MUST do something like that, simply because they have that space in their lives, because they don't have children. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a quiet life, doing things you love to do.
One childless friend keeps getting asked why she & her husband don't travel more, and she says "I've had enough drama to last a lifetime (infertility, loss, etc.). I'm happy just to sit at home with my cats and knit." More power to her. :)
More power indeed. This comment is gold.
I am a childless cat lady. And I’m a dog person too. 2 of each. I don’t do anything to care for others. I work in banking and don’t do any charitable work. I do donate to several charities, mostly to animal ones and saving our oceans and planet. I don’t have a man or significant other. I don’t want one. I’m happy at home. I have a Glock 19, a Louisville slugger, 2 cans of mace, and 1 of my dogs will rip an intruder’s face off if the occasion requires. Jd and others like him can think whatever they want. They just need to stay out of my way. Assholes.
Today the UK Guardian newspaper published an article on the # women killed in the UK so far this year, the majority by men they knew: boyfriends, husbands, ex's, etc. And after reading it I thought "society" not only doesn't have the right to dictate what women (single, married, whatever) should or shouldn't do, it doesn't even deserve the contributions women provide today until it does more to reduce both the physical and online violence experienced by women everywhere everyday. If politicians really want to fix "society", this would be a good place to start because their attempts so far are pathetic. But it's never about that, is it? It's always about "fixing" women.
The critics give themselves away because if they were truly concerned about the societal outcomes, the ones they'd be scolding are the men. If a man were a net positive to the household, he'd probably still be around, but as you and many others so convincingly argue, far more often he is a net negative. And asking a woman to tolerate that is not acceptable.
Surely women have the right to be every bit as free as men are. And to choose to do it alone. Although there's not much of a choice, when the only alternative is 'regressive ideas of partnership'. That said, I have no doubt that many women are quite happy being on their own.
As I think is usual, the prevailing attitudes have it all backwards. It's not the single women, whether with or without children, we should be worried about. If we're uncomfortable with freedom, it's because it's the men who are a problem when they are left to their own devices. And that's not women's responsibility to fix (contrary to what the critics are so clearly saying). Men need to start earning their place; we seem to be failing miserably at that right now. Or else learn to be happy alone. Pointing fingers at the women is the exact wrong and most counterproductive thing to be doing.
YES!!! They tell women to lower their standards....why don't they tell men that THEY have to be better if they want a woman in their lives?
That's the only way for civilization to move forward. Right now we're in the men throwing temper tantrums instead phase, and as we can all see it's quite ugly. 🤞 that sanity eventually wins out, rather than massive violence.
Honestly, I think we will see violence before we see sanity. I and other friends have been verbally attacked for not wanting to date certain men. I know women who have been physically assaulted for turning down men....and heard of many others. Those that tried to press charges against the men are not taken seriously. It is VERY similar to the treatment of women (me included) when they try to report a rape. What were you wearing, had you been drinking, you must have done SOMETHING to cause it....
We have all heard it and it is true: Men are afraid women will laugh at them and women are afraid men will kill them.
Yes. That's what worries me. Lyz and others offer a path of life and happiness to women that is an alternative to the patriarchy. I fear that too many men have no intention to just let women be, and that's why we're seeing the global rise in fascism right now. I understand that Lyz and others have already wasted far too much time and effort concerning themselves with men in their one and only life to live, but I honestly am not sure what the feminist strategy is to deal with violence and force on a much larger scale, and it scares me.
My single parenting years were difficult, but nowhere NEAR as difficult as my married years. I was lonely, exhausted, worried, and constantly financially strapped when I was solo parenting, but I was MUCH better off without the chaos and strain of managing my ex husband 24/7 (my third child I always called him). Now that my two kids are grown and independent, they recognize that my decision to leave and set up shop on my own was a sound one. They call me "the pattern breaker" and are proud of me for stepping out from under an oppressive, dysfunctional and unfair situation. They don't resent their dad, but they do recognize that he failed us in certain ways. I recently found a new partner and he's light years different from my ex husband. Considerate, capable, reliable, and steady as the day is long. It feels like a freaking miracle but it CAN happen! I was fine on my own and absolutely needed to be the sole captain of my fate for awhile. But I am just ecstatic that I did meet my current partner and we are building a life together as our "third act". I am a lucky girl indeed.
When I was growing up my 4 aunties (all of whom were married, only one of whom seemed to be married to a man that wasn't horrible), told me repeatedly, "Don't get married until you're 30." I'm just realizing that was their 1980's version of, "Don't get married," but it was unthinkable to not get married at that time, and of course, beyond. And yes, now, still unthinkable in certain circles. Thank you for normalizing just saying no to marriage, Lyz. You're a real Nancy Reagan for our times. ;)
omg I LOVE appropriating 'Just Say No' for this purpose.
Grown women know damn well that any relationship takes work, but that's not what people mean when they start throwing around the whole "marriage takes work" bullshit. What they really mean by that is women should put up with men's crap as that's the role society has done its best to assign us. I think this story from my own life offers a neat crystallization: During the process of my divorce the court made me meet with some type of male mediator, who questioned me about why I wanted the divorce. I tearfully told him about the emotional abuse I'd suffered at my ex's hands and how my ex agreed to therapy but only went to a couple of sessions and never changed his behavior. When I was done, the court official gently asked me if I'd ever tried being nicer to my husband.
The bias in the system is a feature, not a bug. It's no wonder that the men who seek to dominate women are enraged by the idea that some women are able to walk away and blaze their own trail. It's not up to women to fix this system, it's up to men. And until they do they really shouldn't be surprised when women refuse to participate.
I do think men probably need women's input to fix it (and fix ourselves) - we often need to be told what to do! - but that means the very first thing is that men need to learn to listen. There's not a lot of hope until that happens, and one can hardly blame women for being cautious about providing input when men so often react so violently.
They can find all kinds of input from women at the library.
Shulamith Firestone! Wonderful to see her work referenced in yours, Lyz.
The central thesis of Dialectics, as I remember it, is that true liberation will only happen once technology can relieve women of the burden of pregnancy and childbirth. I had mixed feelings about that thesis, and I’m curious what you & others might think about it. I’m 67 and child-free by choice, btw.
"...true liberation will only happen once technology can relieve women of the burden of pregnancy and childbirth"
Interesting, this brought into my mind a quote from Gloria Steinem: "We will have reached true equality when there are women in positions of power as incompetent as the men who occupy those positions now" <I'm paraphrasing here.
Also, this one from Gloria: "Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom."