96 Comments

Oh, dear god, don’t go positive on us. I too have a “hater’s heart,” and your vitriol nourishes me.

Expand full comment

Never! I'll die with hope in my eyes and hate in my heart!

Expand full comment

That is the Lyz I love!!!

Expand full comment

Amen, and amen!!!

Expand full comment

Correct. If the Dingus edition has no fans then I am dead. Sometimes on Fridays I just search my email for "Dingus" to go straight to the good stuff.

Expand full comment

I love the teen years. Related: I hate people who keep telling parents that the next phase, whatever it is, will be hell.

Expand full comment

Yeah it's really starting to chap my ass. I struggled with the baby phase so much and once they became little humans it got so much easier. And I really just enjoy the shit out of my kids these days and I think that's okay.

Expand full comment

when my two daughters were teens, i LOVED it. our house was constantly filled with all their friends, studying, laughing, sometimes in the kitchen cooking and it was wonderful. the teen years are terrific!!!

Expand full comment

Yes! Sometimes my son and his friends would cook for all of us and then clean up! It was a lovely time in our lives

Expand full comment

one of the teens cooking in my kitchen is now my son-in-law!

Expand full comment

Also, from the child's perspective (in the 1990s/early 00s at least), middle school is the era that should burn in hell. High school was NOT the misery they all told us it would be (shrug). So it tracks that your experience having teens would not be the shitshow they doom-and-gloomed about ...

Expand full comment

I also love the teenage years! I try to tell parents of toddlers about that all the time, particularly because we had a very, very challenging toddler. The look of hope in their eyes is something special.

Expand full comment

YES!!! I loved my daughter every fucking age she was growing up! Why are people such killjoys?!

Expand full comment

I've always felt that "just you wait" and similar remarks is one of the shittiest things you can say to a parent.

Expand full comment

I loved the teen years!

And Lyz, I also watched Gilmore Girls multiple times with my daughter to the point that, one summer when she was at camp, I wrote several fan fic episodes to send to her.

Expand full comment

My teenagers were and are the absolute best part of parenting. They are so funny and weird and I love having conversations with them about life and such.

And I stand by my comment that if my 19 year old son was a DOGEBOI I’d go pick his ass up from DC. These kids are so smart but so dumb.

Expand full comment

The Muskateers…

Expand full comment

good one! I should have crowd sourced this

Expand full comment

that could be a "special assignment" newsletter

Expand full comment

A gestating gestapo.

Expand full comment

The defiant school systems are run by communities and are composed of teachers, counselors, and leaders, many of them Black women, who are invested in their students' wellbeing.

The hospital systems that are denying trans kids life saving care and making pregnant people wait for life saving care, many times till it is too late, are run by millionaire CEOs.

Expand full comment

Hell yes to cashmere. And maybe alpaca, which is from some mountain goat in a far a way country. I'm seeing a swanning episode around that refurbished basement before heading upstairs and sending out missives that do not paper over reality. I don't subscribe to many newsletters but yours stays on the list...

Expand full comment

All I can think is "We’ve-Never-Found-the-Clit Boys" should be sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.

Expand full comment

Now that is in my head and I will be humming it all day.

Expand full comment

It is one of those songs, isn't it? At least now it has better lyrics!

Expand full comment

Thank you!! Because of you I get to stand in my kitchen on Friday mornings and laugh my ass off while I wait for my coffee to brew, and the mac and cheese for my kid’s lunch to come to a boil (Friday mac and cheese, it’s a treat). If it wasn’t for you I’d just be doom scrolling the news, waiting in dread for the next meteor to hit. Dark days call for dark humor. Thank you for providing the light!

Expand full comment

Right? And that Margaret Atwood saying about men fear women laughing at them, while women fear men killing them ... well, they are actively taking steps to result in our deaths, so why NOT (as we fight back against these efforts) deliver their greatest fear of mockery???

Expand full comment

I have two daughters and people are always threatening me with the teen years. 🙄 The best antidote to that is my own mom who said she absolutely loved us as teenagers and all the teens who circulated through our house and said that teens are super funny and interesting. I'm taking that attitude. I want my house to be the one crawling with teens!

Expand full comment

As someone who has the privilege of knowing you IRL Gabs you are gonna be one cool parent of teens they’re gonna love you.

Expand full comment

Your liquor store is hilarious! Keep calling out the dinguses and keep laughing.

Expand full comment

Haters need to stick together. Lyz and MYAM are a rally point.

Expand full comment

Teenagers are amazing, and I think parenting teens is one of the best, most rewarding phases of parenthood.

I am also uninterested in a more positive Friday newsletter because I am uninterested in papering over the reality in which we live. Hate and rage aren't negative emotions if they're directed toward the correct targets: the institutions and ideologies doing their best to prop up and extend injustice and inequality. I will never stop hating on the idea that some humans are more worthy of rights and dignity than others.

I honestly think part of the reason we're in the mess we're in is because of the cultural engineering that insists we police one another by demanding positivity and civility at all times. It's meant to distract us, so that we're too busy yelling at one another to pay attention to the parties and politicians doing their level best to destroy the laws and institutions that once protected us.

Expand full comment

I'm so glad you bought the cashmere pants! They sound amazing and you deserve them!

Your Friday letter is the best. We need to call out these assholes, and we need the dark humor. Keep up the great work, Lyz!

Expand full comment

January was indeed a POS. (I found that meme at the JoJo from Jerz substack -- I think y'all represent different chambers of the hater's heart and I love you both.)

I'm hoping that February will be better, if only because people are starting to push back through the courts. But I don't think it will be good.

Expand full comment

i'll hope with you but confess that i'm not optimistic.

Expand full comment

Nice Swift reference and I love what your booze shop guy said. The Dingus columns ARE positive because they make people laugh a lot.

Expand full comment

My teenage daughter just went to college. Now that we're past driving lessons and trying desperately to use deadly chemicals to unclog her bathroom sinks and bathtub, she's in that college phase of new awareness and has begun to call me to talk about how REALLY screwed up American politics are. She has caught on to the misogyny and racism literally oozing from all of what we're hearing and seeing from the trump federal crime club and their Republican enablers at all level of government. She's already scary angry at 18, she's smart as a whip and her tongue (and pen) are scalpel sharp (I know. Ask me later). I pity the asshole who tries to push her around or talk over her. Is it a sin to be happy that your youngest progeny at that tender age is already a bonified hypersonic idiocy-homing napalm-tipped missile?

Then I am a sinner. Fly, baby, fly.

Expand full comment

Sounds like you did a great job as a parent and she is doing a great job as a citizen/advocate/human being with decency :)

Expand full comment

This was what I loved about the teen years. I worried about them a lot more, but I also delighted in watching them become wise, observant, empathetic and action oriented young people who suffer NO fools anywhere at any time. Teenagers are great.

Expand full comment

Brilliant!

Expand full comment