You're damned amazing. And there's no justification for that man's actions. None.
Also, I don't get all the smears against Amber Heard. Johnny Depp has been an a**hole for years, and his substance abuse has been a growing problem over the past decade. Literally everyone in media has known that "secret" or has had the ability to know that. It's a more well-known "open secret" than when Joe Scarborough & Mika Brzezinski were dating, FFS. That Heard and Depp beat the hell out of each other, and Depp was clearly the instigator, is the only question up for debate in that trial - and it's clear he was an abusive a-hole. So why people are blasting Heard, I don't know. He didn't lose his career because she got an op-ed published. He lost his career because he's an abusive a-hole. So his case has no merit.
We have to keep telling the truth because of all the monsters who lie.
We'll do it on your story. And Heard's.
And the story of the unnecessary death of the kids in Uvalde, TX.
And every other true story.
Because that's what journalists are supposed to do - be advocates for the truth.
Anyone who isn't isn't a journalist.
OK, have to get back to kicking the asses of people we share the media with so they #Bothsides the Uvalde story less (because we all know they'll bothsides the hell out of this like they always do).
I awoke one night about 19 years ago around 1 am to a phone call. I answered, because my kids were with my ex. I was free rested by heavy breathing and “do you want to die bitch”? It was from a number some 20 miles away and a name I didn’t know. I said, you have the wrong number and hung up. They called back twice before I unplugged the phone. I called the police in the morning and they called the number I had given them—it was the teenaged son of the homeowner and his friend, calling the friend’s ex-girlfriend. Fortunately, they notified the ex-girlfriend as well. Jesus wept, what a world.
Seriously, if you go out with someone on a couple of dates and don't want to go out with them anymore, you don't have to. You owe them NOTHING. You get to decide. I don't care if you are man, woman, or gender fluid - if you aren't interested, you aren't interested.
help me out here, people, i'm in tears as i write this. life seems so hard for everyone right now. for women, for kids, for the entire LGBTQ community, for minorities of all shapes and sizes and religions. when i think of how hard we fought back in the 60s to try to make things better and here we are, going backward every. single. day. we must keep fighting but i'm just so damned discouraged right now. but grateful for this community. to echo shawn - love to everyone one here, be safe, be kind, be strong.
I feel McAllister's words today. I was so angry last night...thinking if my child was murdered at school I would lose my ever-loving shit. I would print a HUGE banner of my child's picture and another of an AR15 and for the rest of my life relentlessly subject these turd blossom politicians to a 20 minute harangue. "WHAT DO YOU LOVE MORE!!" The inhumanity is fucking insane. (Okay, 4-7-8 breathing now...) Your words always resonate, Lyz. Thank you so much. And for allowing upfront, hard conversations like this. Let's all take care of ourselves and our precious loved ones today.
I am so damn tired. I'm used to the men acting this way - siding with the men. But the women who are also lashing out at Heard is just beyond the pale.
Nowhere in this society does Amber have equality with Johnny Depp. He's an older man with more money, more clout and more name power than her. Women will barely report being assaulted by STRANGERS. Why the hell would Amber make up being assaulted by her older, wealthier, more connected ex-husband? Certainly not because she thought it would bring her money or better roles or positive fame. That's never how it happens. (Just listen to almost any episode of You're Wrong About to know that!)
We are so consumed by the thought that women must always be meek and submissive. Why in hell WOULDN'T she try to fight back?! Who cares if she wanted to date someone to further her career (which sadly is almost expected in Hollywood)? Why is she the liar, when Depp has exhibited the behaviour in question for years?!
Oh, right. Because we don't believe women. Ever. Even as fellow women, we are conditioned to compete with each other from the start. We take each other out. We badmouth one another. We lie about each other.
But along with that, let's not forget that it is classic abuser behaviour to groom victims AND supporters. The supporters are groomed to only ever see the good side of the abuser, so that if the victim ever comes forward, they aren't believed.
Lyz...I'm sorry, you have to have the knife. But I'm glad you have it. Too many of us have been assaulted too many times to take any chances. 💔
I would sleep with a knife under my pillow too. Hugs. And thanks for the Tom McAllister link. I printed it and am adding it to my “If I Die Violently, Here’s Who Needs to Keep My Name Out of His/Her/Their Mouth” envelope for my family.
Both my mom and I slept with knives under our pillows when I was a teenager because she had a stalker who came to our house and my younger brother opened the door. I hate that you’re dealing with this. I delved into the JD/AH stuff a bit on social media and wow did so many people get mad at me. The world is so… something. Love love love. ❤️
Thank you for always capturing my mood and expanding on it so the grip lessens just enough to let in a breath. You are an incredible being and I'm glad you have a knife under your pillow. Be safe, we love you too much to lose you!
You’re sane, I am, so is everyone else here, and that’s why all of this makes no sense. I’ve been fighting this battle for recognition as a fully formed human being for 55 years. I won’t, can’t, stop, but I am at a point where I need to take a breath and reset my perspective. For a while, I thought we were moving forward, that my grand-niblings would move into a space far closer to equity than I’ve seen. That was a good feeling. Now I need to see the future as something I will have to keep fighting for. It is tiring, but when my students (college) look at events and say, “hold on, that’s not right”, I feel a little less hopeless. Persistence is resistance.
There is *nothing* wrong with you, Lyz.
You're damned amazing. And there's no justification for that man's actions. None.
Also, I don't get all the smears against Amber Heard. Johnny Depp has been an a**hole for years, and his substance abuse has been a growing problem over the past decade. Literally everyone in media has known that "secret" or has had the ability to know that. It's a more well-known "open secret" than when Joe Scarborough & Mika Brzezinski were dating, FFS. That Heard and Depp beat the hell out of each other, and Depp was clearly the instigator, is the only question up for debate in that trial - and it's clear he was an abusive a-hole. So why people are blasting Heard, I don't know. He didn't lose his career because she got an op-ed published. He lost his career because he's an abusive a-hole. So his case has no merit.
We have to keep telling the truth because of all the monsters who lie.
We'll do it on your story. And Heard's.
And the story of the unnecessary death of the kids in Uvalde, TX.
And every other true story.
Because that's what journalists are supposed to do - be advocates for the truth.
Anyone who isn't isn't a journalist.
OK, have to get back to kicking the asses of people we share the media with so they #Bothsides the Uvalde story less (because we all know they'll bothsides the hell out of this like they always do).
Love you. Love everyone here.
Be there for each other today.
And let's be careful out there, folks.
I awoke one night about 19 years ago around 1 am to a phone call. I answered, because my kids were with my ex. I was free rested by heavy breathing and “do you want to die bitch”? It was from a number some 20 miles away and a name I didn’t know. I said, you have the wrong number and hung up. They called back twice before I unplugged the phone. I called the police in the morning and they called the number I had given them—it was the teenaged son of the homeowner and his friend, calling the friend’s ex-girlfriend. Fortunately, they notified the ex-girlfriend as well. Jesus wept, what a world.
Seriously, if you go out with someone on a couple of dates and don't want to go out with them anymore, you don't have to. You owe them NOTHING. You get to decide. I don't care if you are man, woman, or gender fluid - if you aren't interested, you aren't interested.
Emotionally raw this AM so will just put 💞 & say more emphatically than ever today, thank you for writing…this & always. Deep admiration.
help me out here, people, i'm in tears as i write this. life seems so hard for everyone right now. for women, for kids, for the entire LGBTQ community, for minorities of all shapes and sizes and religions. when i think of how hard we fought back in the 60s to try to make things better and here we are, going backward every. single. day. we must keep fighting but i'm just so damned discouraged right now. but grateful for this community. to echo shawn - love to everyone one here, be safe, be kind, be strong.
Thanks for telling your truth. It's challenging on days like this.
I feel McAllister's words today. I was so angry last night...thinking if my child was murdered at school I would lose my ever-loving shit. I would print a HUGE banner of my child's picture and another of an AR15 and for the rest of my life relentlessly subject these turd blossom politicians to a 20 minute harangue. "WHAT DO YOU LOVE MORE!!" The inhumanity is fucking insane. (Okay, 4-7-8 breathing now...) Your words always resonate, Lyz. Thank you so much. And for allowing upfront, hard conversations like this. Let's all take care of ourselves and our precious loved ones today.
Thank you for writing about this.
I am so damn tired. I'm used to the men acting this way - siding with the men. But the women who are also lashing out at Heard is just beyond the pale.
Nowhere in this society does Amber have equality with Johnny Depp. He's an older man with more money, more clout and more name power than her. Women will barely report being assaulted by STRANGERS. Why the hell would Amber make up being assaulted by her older, wealthier, more connected ex-husband? Certainly not because she thought it would bring her money or better roles or positive fame. That's never how it happens. (Just listen to almost any episode of You're Wrong About to know that!)
We are so consumed by the thought that women must always be meek and submissive. Why in hell WOULDN'T she try to fight back?! Who cares if she wanted to date someone to further her career (which sadly is almost expected in Hollywood)? Why is she the liar, when Depp has exhibited the behaviour in question for years?!
Oh, right. Because we don't believe women. Ever. Even as fellow women, we are conditioned to compete with each other from the start. We take each other out. We badmouth one another. We lie about each other.
But along with that, let's not forget that it is classic abuser behaviour to groom victims AND supporters. The supporters are groomed to only ever see the good side of the abuser, so that if the victim ever comes forward, they aren't believed.
Lyz...I'm sorry, you have to have the knife. But I'm glad you have it. Too many of us have been assaulted too many times to take any chances. 💔
Keep telling it, Lyz. Unfortunately, this is 100% right on.
I would sleep with a knife under my pillow too. Hugs. And thanks for the Tom McAllister link. I printed it and am adding it to my “If I Die Violently, Here’s Who Needs to Keep My Name Out of His/Her/Their Mouth” envelope for my family.
Both my mom and I slept with knives under our pillows when I was a teenager because she had a stalker who came to our house and my younger brother opened the door. I hate that you’re dealing with this. I delved into the JD/AH stuff a bit on social media and wow did so many people get mad at me. The world is so… something. Love love love. ❤️
Thank you so much for writing this, Lyz.
Great piece! I love your work!
Thank you for always capturing my mood and expanding on it so the grip lessens just enough to let in a breath. You are an incredible being and I'm glad you have a knife under your pillow. Be safe, we love you too much to lose you!
You’re sane, I am, so is everyone else here, and that’s why all of this makes no sense. I’ve been fighting this battle for recognition as a fully formed human being for 55 years. I won’t, can’t, stop, but I am at a point where I need to take a breath and reset my perspective. For a while, I thought we were moving forward, that my grand-niblings would move into a space far closer to equity than I’ve seen. That was a good feeling. Now I need to see the future as something I will have to keep fighting for. It is tiring, but when my students (college) look at events and say, “hold on, that’s not right”, I feel a little less hopeless. Persistence is resistance.
Yep 😔