This is such a timely dingus. The number of men who have demanded that I consider their feelings after they didn't consider mine is legion. Just this week, I was talking to my 78 year old dad about patriarchy (which he thinks isn't a thing anymore), and I told him casually that my husband had "shushed" me at a meeting with our tax guy. I had responded calmly, "Don't talk to me that way." My dad lost his mind. "How could you humiliate your husband like that? If you want to teach him not to talk to you that way, you say so privately." Me: "Anyone who needs to be reminded not to shush another adult should be reminded immediately. Calmly and politely reminding him was a: a gesture of respect for him that I was asking him to return and b: my 58 years in the patriarchy showing when I worried that the tax guy would find me 'shrill' for saying anything at all."
Also, your book tour sounds like it's going amazingly well. I'm loving the book.
Is that the 3rd classic blunder? Never get involved in a land war in Asia...Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line...and now never go to a second destination when drinking with a Wisconsinite?
(Full disclosure: grew up in WI and still go back regularly for family and friends, and this sentiment could not be more true.)
This was so well put about men making everything about their feelings, and how women are allowed to be good at something because they WANT TO and not as an inspiration for children. I like imagining you and Garrett on stage-woot woot to good writers and thinkers together AND big GROSS to that dumb question. I think I found you independently of each other and enjoy you run a discord together.
I also so enjoy the what I'm drinking segment. Thanks for being you.
Unlearning the "I need to make space for everyone's feelings but my own" fallacy is a JOURNEY and thank you and other women out there being amazing and doing amazing things and lighting the way.
As someone who grew up in the 60s and 70s, I’m often disheartened by how little has changed for women. I am so grateful to have discovered your writing! It helps to keep me sane in an age of insanity.
FART. Which I found out this morning from the goddamn national treasure who is Heather Cox Richardson is NOT in fact a joke. I thought no way, that can't be real. Which is weird b.c of course it's real -- and why that surprised me, when absolutely *none* of the belittling behaviors described in this newsletter surprised me. I am only surprised that people are surprised. Also, you are also a goddamn national treasure & unlike capitalist paradigms of scarcity, there is more than enough treasure to go around.
I can't describe the feeling of relief I had when I got to the end of this piece and saw the footnote. Right answer, Garrett! I'm terrible at answering on the spot, so I'm glad he got it right in the moment.
When reading the question she put to him, I was furious. I really don't see how advocating for divorce means you are anti-family. Advocating for divorce tells women to want more for themselves. If that's anti-family, then I don't want to be part of that family.
I really wish I lived closer to Omaha, but I'm holding out hope that either you or Garrett will be invited to talk about your books at events in the northeast soon. I'm sure it was a "had to be there" kind of thing to fully appreciate it, but were there any particularly good questions folks raised for both of you?
I’ve been evangelizing the Cup of Coffee newsletter on the Discord, but Craig’s response to this was a nice complement to this week’s perfectly worded and exasperated DOTW. This was his last paragraph: “All I know for sure is that Doyel is an absolute drama queen. Like pathologically so. Fifteen years ago it was Mr. Tough Guy. Now it’s creepy, solipsistic weirdo. Either way, that guy seems to have some problems, man.”
My first comment, because I JUST subscribed! The reason I HAD to is that I finished The Book, and was overwhelmed by the beauty of the part where Lyz is showing her kids darkness and light. Just amazing writing, thank you Lyz.
You change more of the world than you think you do.
This is such a timely dingus. The number of men who have demanded that I consider their feelings after they didn't consider mine is legion. Just this week, I was talking to my 78 year old dad about patriarchy (which he thinks isn't a thing anymore), and I told him casually that my husband had "shushed" me at a meeting with our tax guy. I had responded calmly, "Don't talk to me that way." My dad lost his mind. "How could you humiliate your husband like that? If you want to teach him not to talk to you that way, you say so privately." Me: "Anyone who needs to be reminded not to shush another adult should be reminded immediately. Calmly and politely reminding him was a: a gesture of respect for him that I was asking him to return and b: my 58 years in the patriarchy showing when I worried that the tax guy would find me 'shrill' for saying anything at all."
Also, your book tour sounds like it's going amazingly well. I'm loving the book.
Is that the 3rd classic blunder? Never get involved in a land war in Asia...Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line...and now never go to a second destination when drinking with a Wisconsinite?
(Full disclosure: grew up in WI and still go back regularly for family and friends, and this sentiment could not be more true.)
This was so well put about men making everything about their feelings, and how women are allowed to be good at something because they WANT TO and not as an inspiration for children. I like imagining you and Garrett on stage-woot woot to good writers and thinkers together AND big GROSS to that dumb question. I think I found you independently of each other and enjoy you run a discord together.
I also so enjoy the what I'm drinking segment. Thanks for being you.
Unlearning the "I need to make space for everyone's feelings but my own" fallacy is a JOURNEY and thank you and other women out there being amazing and doing amazing things and lighting the way.
As someone who grew up in the 60s and 70s, I’m often disheartened by how little has changed for women. I am so grateful to have discovered your writing! It helps to keep me sane in an age of insanity.
Isn't FART just perfect for a shit caucus-LOL!!!
FART. Which I found out this morning from the goddamn national treasure who is Heather Cox Richardson is NOT in fact a joke. I thought no way, that can't be real. Which is weird b.c of course it's real -- and why that surprised me, when absolutely *none* of the belittling behaviors described in this newsletter surprised me. I am only surprised that people are surprised. Also, you are also a goddamn national treasure & unlike capitalist paradigms of scarcity, there is more than enough treasure to go around.
I can't describe the feeling of relief I had when I got to the end of this piece and saw the footnote. Right answer, Garrett! I'm terrible at answering on the spot, so I'm glad he got it right in the moment.
When reading the question she put to him, I was furious. I really don't see how advocating for divorce means you are anti-family. Advocating for divorce tells women to want more for themselves. If that's anti-family, then I don't want to be part of that family.
The Dingus of the Week is always one of my favorite weekly emails. This one was excellent too.
Big “where’s my hug 😜” energy…
I really wish I lived closer to Omaha, but I'm holding out hope that either you or Garrett will be invited to talk about your books at events in the northeast soon. I'm sure it was a "had to be there" kind of thing to fully appreciate it, but were there any particularly good questions folks raised for both of you?
I’ve been evangelizing the Cup of Coffee newsletter on the Discord, but Craig’s response to this was a nice complement to this week’s perfectly worded and exasperated DOTW. This was his last paragraph: “All I know for sure is that Doyel is an absolute drama queen. Like pathologically so. Fifteen years ago it was Mr. Tough Guy. Now it’s creepy, solipsistic weirdo. Either way, that guy seems to have some problems, man.”
My first comment, because I JUST subscribed! The reason I HAD to is that I finished The Book, and was overwhelmed by the beauty of the part where Lyz is showing her kids darkness and light. Just amazing writing, thank you Lyz.
Laka Lono! We just went there last week, super fun place. Sorry to have missed your event but glad you had a good time in town!
👏👏👏
Also I'm from Wisconsin too :)