59 Comments
Jul 19, 2023Liked by lyz

CONGRATULATIONS, this rules!! I'll be subscribing for sure!

Your comments about "tispy aunts smoking in the parking lot" reminded me of one of my favorite wedding guest experiences of all time, when I was standing near a bunch of tispy aunts at the cocktail hour. I heard them cackle while saying, "well, it's only his FIRST marriage, so who cares?!" I mean. The Tipsy Aunts know what's up.

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They always know

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Jul 19, 2023Liked by lyz

As the patron saint of divorced women (pending), have you considered starting a cameo where you tell women's ex-husbands to go [redacted] themselves???

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Lmao omfg that's a great idea

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Jul 19, 2023Liked by lyz

I don't know if this is possible on Substack, but Defector dot com has an option for people to donate to cover the cost of subscriptions for students. Speaking only for myself, I would happily donate or pay $1-2 more a month on my sub to let others get access to all of the great material here.

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Jul 19, 2023Liked by lyz

Great idea! I'd pay a bit more a month too!

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definitely!

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Jul 19, 2023Liked by lyz

Lyz, just thank you for your work. You rule. And I’m so glad Iowa and Iowans have you, even if the state doesn’t love you (or me) back

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Congrats on the new pod! That’s so exciting and I can’t wait to add it to my rotation.

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Jul 19, 2023Liked by lyz

That Glamour essay was my first contact with your writing and I have been a fan ever since. As a perpetually single lady I find these topics incredibly interesting, and while they make me feel marginally better about not having found a person, they can be discouraging -as in, man, the sheer amount of shitty people that are lurking out there-. Counting down the days until the book and congratulations on the pod!

PS. As a paid suscriber already, is there anything else we can do to support the podcast? Something like a Patreon or an additional subscription tier on Substack

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Pre-ordered already!! And man, do I have stories to tell. You will hear them. Whe. I can sort out what you would most want to hear.

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I cannot wait! If my comments section has taught me one thing.... y'all have stories and I want to hear them

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Jul 19, 2023Liked by lyz

Looking forward to both the podcast and the book, Lyz!

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I'm so glad you will be doing this podcast, Lyz. I'm a mediator and I handle ALOT of divorce and parenting cases. I hear many stories that mirror what you've referred to in this article. My role in mediation is to be a neutral third-party and sometimes that's tough given what I hear from couples. I look forward to listening to these podcasts as I'm sure they'll help me to help my clients. BTW - I'm a loyal, paying subscriber and, although I can't always read every posting, I enjoy each one I can dive into (PS - I especially liked the one about gas station pizza!)

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Me: A podcast commercial about WHAT?

LATER THAT DAY, LISTENING TO A PODCAST: Oh.

Anyway, it's wonderful to see your work paying off, looking forward to the book and podcast.

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Congratulations. This sounds fantastic, can't wait to hear it. I love reading your perspective on things. As a cis white male in a 30 year marriage with a powerful PhD wife, I have a very different lived experience. I've been a stay at home Dad, cooked and cleaned, and it feels like I have a partner in life. But I'm aware this isn't the norm and your blog is one of the things I count on to continuously broaden my view with other's stories. I love your fearlessness, your loyalty to yourself and family, and your sense of humor. How you stay in Iowa is beyond me, but you do! Total respect.

I'm not a lawyer, but I donate to help in your lawsuits. Drop a line on your blog. We need your voice.

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The name is 🤩

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I will be listening and as a subscriber I wish I could get more folks to join me ( I have been talking this Substack UP) - thanks and wishing you great success - you are a light in this dim world. 🙏🏽🪷

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This is all excellent news!

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As you know, I'm a super fan of the podcast you work on

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I don't think I'm spilling any trade secrets by saying that a sticking point in the past when signing on with a new network or distributer is that she gets right of refusal on ads run on the show. That doesn't mean every ad is necessarily great, but it does mean that they can't sell them to certain types of products/services (DNA testing and egregious diet culture stuff being the ones I remember off the top of my head).

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Definitely, but the podcast you work for did start pretty independently YEARS ago. It's very different for new start ups today. Hopefully, I can get to her level. But for now, we forge ahead.

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Jul 20, 2023Liked by lyz

Looking forward to the podcast. Also, still excited cuz I had dinner near Lyz Lenz and actually said hi to her! Ok, fading back into obscurity...

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It was so nice to meet you and your lovely wife!!!

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Would you like to hear from successful marriages? We're here, too. Just celebrated 48 years. Lessons go both ways.

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A marriage that ends in divorce is successful too. And that's why we are having these conversations, to end the stigma of failure.

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There's a Talmudic line that says that the altar cries when a couple divorces (OK, fine, it says when a man divorces his wife). That's often taken to mean that divorce is something bad (the rabbi applying this passage would encourage the couple in his office to stay together). I think that, giving the rabbis more credit, it means divorce is something really hard and maybe traumatic (the rabbi would encourage therapy).

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Marriage is also hard and traumatic

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100% - even when it lasts, and even when it's "happy"

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Not always, but maybe what percentage of marriages? I would guess most. Is there a list of elements that make marriage easier?

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