I normally have the weekly threads open to paying subscribers only. The reason is, it makes it easier to moderate and it’s a nice perk of community for those on the paid tiers. But today, because it’s tax day, and if you are like me and you read a lot of news, you might also be feeling a little depressed, I think we all could use a bit of hope.
So share the wins and bits of good news that keep you going. It can be anything from getting a new job and finally getting back on insurance. The North American River Otter being saved. Maggie Rogers coming out with a new album just in time for you to sit on your porch and cry to every song. (Hypothetically, of course, because I am totally fine and would never.)
Okay my good thing is going to sound cheesy, but my 13yo daughter and I have been watching Gilmore Girls together and she immediately clocks that Dean is bad news and has gone on a rant about this town having not LGBTQ characters. And we are having a great time but her noticing those things gives me hope for the future. Actually talking to most teens gives me hope for the future these kids don't mess around.
My son has a rare, ultimately terminal illness. A small group of doctors around the country have been studying the disease and think they may be able to treat it with medicine, hopefully improving quality of life and maybe even curing it. This week, I am at the hospital with my son doing some pre-testing to move toward a trial. Fingers crossed!
Pretty specific but deeply happy: after nineteen years of living on another continent, my parents are moving home this summer, and I just started packing my bag to go out to help them pack/clean/etc., and it finally feels real. I love where they live (I think of it as home too), they've been very happy there, it's been an amazing couple of decades, but y'all, they've signed a lease on an apartment three blocks from me and I will not have to take two flights to go visit them and I truly can. not. wait.
I lost my job over a year ago and have been cobbling part-time gigs together to keep my head above water, so I’ve had to cut out all my extraneous costs. Substack subscriptions were the first to go. (Sad trombone.) So you opening this thread to everyone? That’s a very happy day for me. Community is so important, and I’ve missed the writing communities that I no longer have access to. I’m going to soak in EVERY ONE of these replies. Thank you. 😊
Yesterday at my 14 year olds soccer game one of his teammates got called, rightly, for a foul. In the past, this boy has been a bit of hot head, as I was as a young athlete. But, instead of throwing up his arms and complaining to the ref he stopped himself, helped the other kid up, and walked away quietly. His dad yelled, "That's growth! We've been working on that!" and I felt so grateful to be a part of this team with these parents, at a time when youth sports is often the opposite of that moment. Recognition of the fact that it's hard to be a middle schooler regulating emotions and that there is always room for growth and change.
Watching my 21-year-old son care for a friend who only has a few days to live. He's so kind and compassionate and mature about this, it gives me hope for his entire generation that gets such a bad rap.
I'm going to see The Shire in New Zealand next February as part of a book signing!! I'm a complete Tolkien nerd, and my entire life has led up to the moment I step off that bus and into Hobbiton. And I'm making it on my own power through my writing.
My children give me hope. I was a soldier and absent a lot from their lives because of that. My first wife divorced me. I loved being a father and having a family but it seemed I was doomed to wreck my kids with adult mayhem. They were stronger and wiser than I gave them credit for. They stayed away from substance abuse, they found their way to education. The adult ones are happily married, the youngest is picking her college this week and she’s earned some fantastic opportunities. They are kind and thoughtful (not Republicans, just saying, although their parents were in their formative years). I now have four grandchildren. When I think of all the drama and crap my kids endured and worked through, my heart climbs into my throat. I am profoundly fortunate to be in their lives. I met my fourth precious new granddaughter last Saturday. I am filled with incredible hope.
My teen got her driver's license last week. So far she has picked up my Chipotle order, picked up my grocery order, and took her sister to a sleepover. She has freedom and I feel like I have a new found freedom!
I've always loved to travel particularly to France, but London is my favourite city in the world. Because I'm a bit OCDC, the only way I've been able to do this (since I live on my old age pension) is to save change, put it in a big tin, wait 'til the tin's full, and then use the money to travel. Alas, I'm now nearly 90, and travel insurance is ridiculously expensive. So what I'm looking forward to is bringing a dear friend from London to be one of the singers/musicians at my 90th party in June. Took a tin's worth of change, but it's going to be so worth it to see her again...
This might be a bit of a weird one- it’s a bit niche. But bear with me. I’m a lawyer- a prosecutor who works primarily on cases of domestic/sexual/child abuse (in your neighbor to the north). My happy hopeful thing is that a decision in a giant, landmark case in this area of law in Australia was handed down yesterday, and it’s fantastic. The judge spent almost 400 pages giving an extremely nuanced and thoughtful analysis of all the facts, including some of the best comments I have ever seen about the impact of trauma on those who then have to traverse the Justice system in reporting that trauma. The judge was able to sensitively acknowledge that the victim was by no means perfect, and in some ways acted unintuitively (and downright problematically) - but that in no way meant that she was necessarily lying about being sexually assaulted. The way he calmly followed the facts and took into account the human condition while doing a tricky weighing of factors was beautiful to behold and renewed my faith that the courts can in fact be a place where sexual assault victims are believed.
Sometimes, even working in a country like Canada, I begin to despair about the state of the people whose whole job it is - Judges- to be able to sort through complex matters of credibility when it comes to allegations of sexual assault. I’ve seen so many jurists pass off or misunderstand their duty, resulting in terrible and illogical decisions (which is even more galling when you consider how much they are paid to dispense their so-called wisdom). Seeing this approach in Australia in such a high profile case (the judgment livestream was watched by almost 50 000 people) was extremely heartening and satisfying for me, and has given me a renewed spring in my step going to work today!
My plans to move to Europe, my found family and friends, the dog that I’m sitting, the cemetery across the street that serves as a home for so many birds, the reminder that I can take small steps every day to achieve my dreams.
Nearly 4 years after the derecho severely damaged my tile roof on my 1922 house in CR, after having to sue my insurance company for coverage, and then waiting 8 months to have the tile made, replacement of my roof is scheduled to begin in May.
I'm applying for a job I'm really excited about that might get me out of my patriarchal stew of a current job. I'm so excited. I also just spent the weekend at the Festival of Faith and Writing, where I got to hear Tracy K. Smith, Yaa Gyasi, and Anthony Doerr read, among other talented people, and I have the will to write and live again.
Also the blooming trees in the Midwest are OUT and so gorgeous right now.
My daughter is in a really big tantrum phase, and had an alarmingly enormous breakdown before reading stories last night, and unfairly blamed her brother for God Knows What and just screamed at him. We ended up doing separate bedtime stories and just as I was wrapping up round two with her brother, she comes out of her room to apologize to him and give him a hug.
I've been trying really hard to parent differently than I was parented through Big Inconvenient Emotions, and witnessing that glimmer of learning and repair is so hopeful.
Bringing my 45 tomato seedlings out of their little house in the morning and back in before the evening temps drop. Bugs and spiders. Butterflies, birds, and lizards.
During the pandemic, one of the many things that I was nervous about were the sightings of Invasive Asian Giant Hornets (nicknamed "murder hornets") in Washington state. These apex insects decapitate honey bees to feed, and proliferation of these hornets in the US could have been very damaging to the environment. In the midst of the chaos that was the pandemic response, I was sure that the different levels of government would not be able to get their act together to appropriately address the hornet situation in Washington.
Four years later, it looks increasingly likely that the Invasive Asian Giant Hornet has been completely removed from Washington State and Canada. This always brings me joy and a little hope. (But knock on some wood, just in case, because its relative was found in Georgia a few days ago.)
Next month our fourth, and final kid, graduates from college. After paying college tuition for 12 consecutive years, we are done -- and my kids have no college debt. They didn't go to fancy schools obviously, but good ones, and they are turning out to be the very best of adults. Of course, we won't be retiring ANY TIME SOON, but we got them through college. And it feels BIG.
I started ADHD meds on Friday. They are not supposed to take effect for 2 weeks, but I feel they are already making a difference. I got rid of some clutter and organized this weekend. These things were big barriers and it feels good to have worked on them.
Today there are three things. One, my son cleaned my bathtub without being asked, just because it needed to be done. If you don't mind cleaning the bathtub you aren't my people. This was the nicest things anyone's done for me for months. Two, I worked all weekend and was so tired that I was falling asleep in front of the tv by 8 PM. I was supposed to call my daughter, who was with her dad for the last week, but I was too tired. I texted her to apologize. She didn't just text back, "Okay. Goodnight." She texted, "It's okay. Don't worry. I love you so much. (except without punctuation or capitals because she is 16)". That's what I woke up to this morning.
Finally, three, I spent all day on Saturday working on my book. And I know everyone writes shitty first drafts and all that, but the writing was CRAP no matter how hard I tried. I woke up this morning feeling so despondent (though the text from my daughter was a momentary reprieve). But then I got to work, things were slow, and I managed to somehow spend the last four hours writing really good words on the sly. My book will not be total shit. And I am really well loved by my kids. How hopeful is that?!?
My oldest kid graduates from college in a few weeks. He graduated from high school in 2020 so “graduation” consisted of driving through the high school parking lot to pick up his diploma. I’m delighted to be getting to plan an actual celebration, looking forward to sitting through multiple ceremonies…all of it!
I just filed separately from my ex for the first time and am so excited to be getting rid of him and his messy finances! And though I'm now totally broke from the taxes (I'm self-employed), I'm happy, independent, and my kid is doing better than ever!
My good thing (related to the topics here discussed) is that our girls' soccer uniforms (kits) sponsorship project is in its third year. In 2024 we will donate a total of 255 high-quality colorful uniforms for 12 different teams here in Venezuela, for girls and young women from 11 to 24 years of age (U13, U15, U17, U20 and 2nd Division). Next year we hope to grow more.
I'm 54 and starting my life over. Ended my 30-odd-year relationship and I'm waiting for the final divorce decree in late summer. I'm back in school, chasing an MA in something that's a cross between being a sex therapist, a storyteller, and a counselor. Uncertain of that title, but I'm sticking with what I know makes me happy. Menopausal fog makes the schoolwork absolute hell for most days, but I keep fighting my way through it. Naysayers be damned. Trying to help my 20-year-old daughter get through junior college, but it's very hard. She's ASD/ADHD and every day is a new experience. Like so many, I'm just struggling to get by and not set fire to the current political settings. I'm glad to be here though, and I hope to find a solid job after years of being a stay-at-home parent. One bite at a time, I figure. Thank you all for being here.
OK, so this is really quite selfish but it has been my existence the last four years of my life. In March of 2020 I found out that a man who sexually abused me as a young teenager was a pediatric orthopedic surgeon in West Des Moines. Covid hit. I lost my shit. (see what I did there!)
Fast forward, I filed a complaint with the the Iowa Board of Medicine. They did nothing. Correct - nothing. I got on my big girl panties and went very public with my story - Lyz and I connected and she wrote a story about it. (Thank you!) I shared on FB, Twitter, TV, newspaper, anyone who would listen. I wrote well over 200 letters, I drove myself crazy trying to get him away from kids. The good news is that I literally ran him out of business as facilities refused to let him admit patients, insurance companies pulled their coverage, patients quit showing up and he "retired" in May of 2023. The very sad news is that he abused an eight year old child in June of 2023. He has been in jail since June, he was denied the chance to have his $1 million bail lowered, and in February 2024 he was FOUND GUILTY (AGAIN).
For me.... last Friday.... I drove four hours to Des Moines and watched him stipulate to his prior conviction with me. He had to say "YES, I did that" to the judge over and over and over. He is now facing enhanced sentencing because HE IS A REPEAT OFFENDER. He will die in prison.
I have about $25,000+ in legal fees, postage, copying, etc. etc. and as a good friend said to me, "You don't ever have to give a dime to charity again. You have done more good by getting that scum bag off the streets." I'm good with that.
I am stubborn. I am persistent. I am tough. I was recently given a t-shirt.... "Fu(k around, Find out."
Thanks for letting me share and vent. I am experiencing some slow, cautious level of closure. Finally.
I gave my Mom a copy of you book and she liked it/agreed with it. Through the election and the pandemic my parents have changed, not for the better IMO. But hearing her say that about your book gives me hope that maybe she's not completely gone.
I'm starting a new business. The kids these days would call it a side hustle. It's going well, the responses have been positive. Gives me hope that I was right and maybe this could be a thing long-term.
Someone I haven't spoken to in over 8 years reached out over the weekend and said nice things and made me think maybe I'm not such a terrible person after all if after all this time, I'm still on someone's mind and I had a positive impact on their life. Gives em hope that maybe I didn't get it all wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'll be invited to a job interview soon. I was very on the fence about applying because I generally like my current job and would feel guilt about leaving it. But so many things that have happened at work in the 4 weeks since the application deadline have helped me confirm that I am as underappreciated as I feel. Hoping for their sake that my work is as important as they feel it is, and not as important as I feel it is.
I had the good fortune to attend a children's music festival on the weekend because my daughter's school choir was participating. The finale was all the choirs coming together to perform a final number. Nothing cleanses your soul of discouragement annd cynicism quite like the voices of 850 kids singing Why We Sing.
This is a week old, but still resonant. It was a beautiful day here in Vermont last Monday for the eclipse. We drove an hour north to Burlington for a longer totality interval (a little over 3 minutes, vs. about 1 minute). Before lunch we took a walk along the bike path next to Lake Champlain. People had claimed their spots with lawn chairs and blankets well before the 2:14 pm start. It was crowded by Vermont standards, but everyone was smiling and excited and friendly. Vermonters relished the beautiful spring atmosphere just days after a major snowfall. We watched the eclipse from our son's neighbor's yard, and heard cheers at the beginning and end of totality from the lakeside park a few blocks away. We waited until after dinner to head south, but still found significant traffic. Approaching a side road, I could see the headlights of cars backed up for half a mile trying to turn on to the major road we were on. When we reached the intersection, it became clear that an alternating pattern of letting people on the main road had been established, even though the other road had a stop sign and we didn't. Somehow this made me feel better about humanity, at least in that moment.
my good things: i have a couple: getting ready to go to an interview for the assistant director position in the writing center of the university where i am getting my MA in english lit. i will graduate next year, 30 years after i received my BA from the same uni. i will be 68. to those who are going thru life changes later in life, doors closing and opening and all that. look around for the opportunities to do the things you always wished you had time for. do them now. ps: thanks for opening this up for free. maybe when/if i’m hired i can get a subscription, wish me luck!
I’m a single mom caring for my adult daughter with disabilities. I’m fortunate she’s in a program that pays me to be her 24/7 care provider. 💖 I moved to a new state that allows me to also work my side hack! For the first time in 10 years I’m getting an unexpected tax return! 💵This will be nice in my savings for a cushion either for a rainy day or for serendipity 🥳 to bring us some joy!
Only 5 more days and I'll be on a much-needed vacation with my favorite person (my husband)! We are driving to southern Arkansas and staying in a cute cottage on a lake and doing whatever we want for 10 days. I can't wait!
Its a beautifully sunny marathon Monday in Boston, and every year it thaws my seasonal depression to see so many people throwing their hearts and souls into the event
We lost our first pup in Dec 21 (he's in my little profile pic) and he was just the sweetest, best boy and it was so hard; my husband grieved for a long time (so did I, but in a different way).
But after time and healing and lots of talks, we brought home a new rescue pup on Friday and he is currently snoozing on the couch next to me and I love him so much.
My kids definitely give me hope. They're all Gen Z and Lyz is right, they do not pull punches and they see the world with realism.
Science gives me hope. A surgery I had 4 years ago has already changed a ton, with a much shorter recovery time. A friend had a cancerous tumor blasted away with some sort of nanoknife because it was sitting on an artery and they couldn't just excise it. So they blew holes in that fucker instead.
Gardening gives me hope. It's a perfect blend of optimism and realism. You hope things will grow and if they don't, you try again.
Art gives me hope. I think all the time about a tweet someone wrote about how during the dark times of early COVID, we all turned to art. I see writers working well into their 80s and beyond and hope that my mind and body cooperate so I can do the same.
1. Learning history - as screwed up as things are, a real true view of history shows they've always been pretty wacky and almost every "things were better back in the day" story is built on a mythological past.
2. My kids - the ease at which they accept a person's chosen gender and pronouns points towards a much better future. The rejection of "frat boy" culture that seemed ubiquitous to me in the 80's, the acceptance of drugs (now legal) but the choice not to use, rejection of conservative framing... it brings me such joy to know "the kids are alright". :)
3. I have as long a list of failings for the Biden administration as anyone (support for genocide, southern border insanity, inability to effect needed structural political changes, etc). But he's exceeded my expectations in willingness to spend government funds for economic production, supports labor, his labor secretary is awesome, inclusion of native folks in national resource leadership.
4. Spring. It comes every year, with all the new blooms, the birds singing, the clean wind and warm sunny days. The Earth's endless renewal puts all my petty human worries in perspective and I can shed my worries and bask in nature's re-awakening.
I am in an accelerated 20 month RN program and the future of nursing is BIPOC multicultural GOODNESS. These kids (I'm 49) are aware and intelligent and open and really cool and I'd be happy to have 95% of them as my nurse. The kids are all right.
I love this topic & the thought behind it ❤️ a thing that gives me hope today is that there are so many people who care so deeply about changing the world for the better.
Greetings to all you fine people! Wasn't gonna share, but maybe someone can get hope from my experience. I find hope in psych meds. It took years to get one of my (now late 30s) children stabilized on psych meds- she used alcohol to self-medicate prior to that, and a nurse in the ER told me, "YOU are the sick one cuz you keep bringing her in." (*Yah, that really happened.) "You need to let her go and reach bottom." I blurted, "You mean, like, let her die?" (Yep, F*** that b***.) so FWIW...PS Thank you for letting non-subscribers in today- I appreciate your generosity!
I saw a couple of bees buzzing around my lupin yesterday-it has no flowers yet. There are dandelions and flowering fruit trees for them to feast on in the meantime. It gives me hope to see bees this early!
This is a weird hopeful thing, but after a life of trying to never fail and achieve and be there for everyone and do the right thing for everyone, I realize it's okay to not be good at something. Nobody is good at everything & that's okay. I always thought I'd be great at dealing with all the paperwork and crap after a death . . . Turns out that I am NOT, and that is okay. Sadness I can handle but all the GUNK (I believe that's the medical term) of grief has done a number on me. Still okay!
This is a small moment of joy, but we took my dad to a Cubs vs. Mariners game in Seattle this weekend. He grew up in Chicago going to the games, but hasn't been to one since 1985. It felt awesome to be able to treat him to a nice experience after all he's done for us as an incredible dad – plus the Cubbies won!!
PS – Lyz, he's excited to read your books, especially GOD LAND!
Well - mine isn't inspirational but I'm happy. I got a new top-loader washing machine on clearance yesterday so the beast of a front loader that leaves clothes smelling mildewy is out the door tomorrow. That, and I'm getting things together to order a ring designed by the guy from Bend that you featured a few weeks ago. He was really great, and I think I'm going to have a ring that means a lot.
My seed starter trays that are sitting in the sun on our harvest room table. They should start sprouting any day now, and I can't wait to get them into our flower and vegetable gardens. The hummingbird & oriole feeders that are ready to be filled in the basement. And my brother getting fired from his job. While he could experience a difficult time securing employment due to physical obstacles, knowing he is out of that toxic environment, where he was treated horribly for nearly 28 years, makes me feel hopeful that he’ll find something where he is appreciated for the amazing guy he is.
I went on my first date post-divorce. It was nice but I decided this person wasn't right for me. Old me would have taken the B- date and said there is enough to work with. That I can turn this into an A with a bit of effort. But I don't need to I can wait for my A date, who will be better suited to me anyway. I owe this to you, Lyz. Thank you!
my win sounds bleak but feels really nice: I'm finally feeling accepting and ready to move on over an estrangement from my family of origin. it's been a few very painful years but another recent loss really helped me realize that I no longer want to go back to how things were, when I had to make myself small and endure emotional abuse, just to say that I had "good" relationships with my parents and only sibling. it feels like I can really embrace what's next for me and bid them adieu in my heart.
I work for an environmental advocacy org. For a long time, there was hardly any hope to be had from work in climate change. But recently, some cool scientific advances have been made that will make it much more likely that we can address carbon and methane in a meaningful way. That gives me so much hope. Also ... young people. This next generation of 20+ year olds are the most fired up generation I've seen in my 30 years of climate work. They're not going to half-ass their advocacy and cave to compromises that render them powerless. I'm grateful, hopeful and here to do whatever they need to be successful.
Okay my good thing is going to sound cheesy, but my 13yo daughter and I have been watching Gilmore Girls together and she immediately clocks that Dean is bad news and has gone on a rant about this town having not LGBTQ characters. And we are having a great time but her noticing those things gives me hope for the future. Actually talking to most teens gives me hope for the future these kids don't mess around.
My son has a rare, ultimately terminal illness. A small group of doctors around the country have been studying the disease and think they may be able to treat it with medicine, hopefully improving quality of life and maybe even curing it. This week, I am at the hospital with my son doing some pre-testing to move toward a trial. Fingers crossed!
Pretty specific but deeply happy: after nineteen years of living on another continent, my parents are moving home this summer, and I just started packing my bag to go out to help them pack/clean/etc., and it finally feels real. I love where they live (I think of it as home too), they've been very happy there, it's been an amazing couple of decades, but y'all, they've signed a lease on an apartment three blocks from me and I will not have to take two flights to go visit them and I truly can. not. wait.
I lost my job over a year ago and have been cobbling part-time gigs together to keep my head above water, so I’ve had to cut out all my extraneous costs. Substack subscriptions were the first to go. (Sad trombone.) So you opening this thread to everyone? That’s a very happy day for me. Community is so important, and I’ve missed the writing communities that I no longer have access to. I’m going to soak in EVERY ONE of these replies. Thank you. 😊
Yesterday at my 14 year olds soccer game one of his teammates got called, rightly, for a foul. In the past, this boy has been a bit of hot head, as I was as a young athlete. But, instead of throwing up his arms and complaining to the ref he stopped himself, helped the other kid up, and walked away quietly. His dad yelled, "That's growth! We've been working on that!" and I felt so grateful to be a part of this team with these parents, at a time when youth sports is often the opposite of that moment. Recognition of the fact that it's hard to be a middle schooler regulating emotions and that there is always room for growth and change.
Two things:
Watching my 21-year-old son care for a friend who only has a few days to live. He's so kind and compassionate and mature about this, it gives me hope for his entire generation that gets such a bad rap.
I'm going to see The Shire in New Zealand next February as part of a book signing!! I'm a complete Tolkien nerd, and my entire life has led up to the moment I step off that bus and into Hobbiton. And I'm making it on my own power through my writing.
My children give me hope. I was a soldier and absent a lot from their lives because of that. My first wife divorced me. I loved being a father and having a family but it seemed I was doomed to wreck my kids with adult mayhem. They were stronger and wiser than I gave them credit for. They stayed away from substance abuse, they found their way to education. The adult ones are happily married, the youngest is picking her college this week and she’s earned some fantastic opportunities. They are kind and thoughtful (not Republicans, just saying, although their parents were in their formative years). I now have four grandchildren. When I think of all the drama and crap my kids endured and worked through, my heart climbs into my throat. I am profoundly fortunate to be in their lives. I met my fourth precious new granddaughter last Saturday. I am filled with incredible hope.
My teen got her driver's license last week. So far she has picked up my Chipotle order, picked up my grocery order, and took her sister to a sleepover. She has freedom and I feel like I have a new found freedom!
I've always loved to travel particularly to France, but London is my favourite city in the world. Because I'm a bit OCDC, the only way I've been able to do this (since I live on my old age pension) is to save change, put it in a big tin, wait 'til the tin's full, and then use the money to travel. Alas, I'm now nearly 90, and travel insurance is ridiculously expensive. So what I'm looking forward to is bringing a dear friend from London to be one of the singers/musicians at my 90th party in June. Took a tin's worth of change, but it's going to be so worth it to see her again...
Thank you for opening this up to all!
This might be a bit of a weird one- it’s a bit niche. But bear with me. I’m a lawyer- a prosecutor who works primarily on cases of domestic/sexual/child abuse (in your neighbor to the north). My happy hopeful thing is that a decision in a giant, landmark case in this area of law in Australia was handed down yesterday, and it’s fantastic. The judge spent almost 400 pages giving an extremely nuanced and thoughtful analysis of all the facts, including some of the best comments I have ever seen about the impact of trauma on those who then have to traverse the Justice system in reporting that trauma. The judge was able to sensitively acknowledge that the victim was by no means perfect, and in some ways acted unintuitively (and downright problematically) - but that in no way meant that she was necessarily lying about being sexually assaulted. The way he calmly followed the facts and took into account the human condition while doing a tricky weighing of factors was beautiful to behold and renewed my faith that the courts can in fact be a place where sexual assault victims are believed.
Sometimes, even working in a country like Canada, I begin to despair about the state of the people whose whole job it is - Judges- to be able to sort through complex matters of credibility when it comes to allegations of sexual assault. I’ve seen so many jurists pass off or misunderstand their duty, resulting in terrible and illogical decisions (which is even more galling when you consider how much they are paid to dispense their so-called wisdom). Seeing this approach in Australia in such a high profile case (the judgment livestream was watched by almost 50 000 people) was extremely heartening and satisfying for me, and has given me a renewed spring in my step going to work today!
My plans to move to Europe, my found family and friends, the dog that I’m sitting, the cemetery across the street that serves as a home for so many birds, the reminder that I can take small steps every day to achieve my dreams.
Nearly 4 years after the derecho severely damaged my tile roof on my 1922 house in CR, after having to sue my insurance company for coverage, and then waiting 8 months to have the tile made, replacement of my roof is scheduled to begin in May.
I'm applying for a job I'm really excited about that might get me out of my patriarchal stew of a current job. I'm so excited. I also just spent the weekend at the Festival of Faith and Writing, where I got to hear Tracy K. Smith, Yaa Gyasi, and Anthony Doerr read, among other talented people, and I have the will to write and live again.
Also the blooming trees in the Midwest are OUT and so gorgeous right now.
My daughter is in a really big tantrum phase, and had an alarmingly enormous breakdown before reading stories last night, and unfairly blamed her brother for God Knows What and just screamed at him. We ended up doing separate bedtime stories and just as I was wrapping up round two with her brother, she comes out of her room to apologize to him and give him a hug.
I've been trying really hard to parent differently than I was parented through Big Inconvenient Emotions, and witnessing that glimmer of learning and repair is so hopeful.
Spring.
Bringing my 45 tomato seedlings out of their little house in the morning and back in before the evening temps drop. Bugs and spiders. Butterflies, birds, and lizards.
During the pandemic, one of the many things that I was nervous about were the sightings of Invasive Asian Giant Hornets (nicknamed "murder hornets") in Washington state. These apex insects decapitate honey bees to feed, and proliferation of these hornets in the US could have been very damaging to the environment. In the midst of the chaos that was the pandemic response, I was sure that the different levels of government would not be able to get their act together to appropriately address the hornet situation in Washington.
Four years later, it looks increasingly likely that the Invasive Asian Giant Hornet has been completely removed from Washington State and Canada. This always brings me joy and a little hope. (But knock on some wood, just in case, because its relative was found in Georgia a few days ago.)
Next month our fourth, and final kid, graduates from college. After paying college tuition for 12 consecutive years, we are done -- and my kids have no college debt. They didn't go to fancy schools obviously, but good ones, and they are turning out to be the very best of adults. Of course, we won't be retiring ANY TIME SOON, but we got them through college. And it feels BIG.
I started ADHD meds on Friday. They are not supposed to take effect for 2 weeks, but I feel they are already making a difference. I got rid of some clutter and organized this weekend. These things were big barriers and it feels good to have worked on them.
Today there are three things. One, my son cleaned my bathtub without being asked, just because it needed to be done. If you don't mind cleaning the bathtub you aren't my people. This was the nicest things anyone's done for me for months. Two, I worked all weekend and was so tired that I was falling asleep in front of the tv by 8 PM. I was supposed to call my daughter, who was with her dad for the last week, but I was too tired. I texted her to apologize. She didn't just text back, "Okay. Goodnight." She texted, "It's okay. Don't worry. I love you so much. (except without punctuation or capitals because she is 16)". That's what I woke up to this morning.
Finally, three, I spent all day on Saturday working on my book. And I know everyone writes shitty first drafts and all that, but the writing was CRAP no matter how hard I tried. I woke up this morning feeling so despondent (though the text from my daughter was a momentary reprieve). But then I got to work, things were slow, and I managed to somehow spend the last four hours writing really good words on the sly. My book will not be total shit. And I am really well loved by my kids. How hopeful is that?!?
My oldest kid graduates from college in a few weeks. He graduated from high school in 2020 so “graduation” consisted of driving through the high school parking lot to pick up his diploma. I’m delighted to be getting to plan an actual celebration, looking forward to sitting through multiple ceremonies…all of it!
Spring! Green shoots everywhere. Little grape hyacinths. Peonies rising up. Hydrangea leaves unfurling. Lilacs budding.
I just filed separately from my ex for the first time and am so excited to be getting rid of him and his messy finances! And though I'm now totally broke from the taxes (I'm self-employed), I'm happy, independent, and my kid is doing better than ever!
My good thing (related to the topics here discussed) is that our girls' soccer uniforms (kits) sponsorship project is in its third year. In 2024 we will donate a total of 255 high-quality colorful uniforms for 12 different teams here in Venezuela, for girls and young women from 11 to 24 years of age (U13, U15, U17, U20 and 2nd Division). Next year we hope to grow more.
I'm 54 and starting my life over. Ended my 30-odd-year relationship and I'm waiting for the final divorce decree in late summer. I'm back in school, chasing an MA in something that's a cross between being a sex therapist, a storyteller, and a counselor. Uncertain of that title, but I'm sticking with what I know makes me happy. Menopausal fog makes the schoolwork absolute hell for most days, but I keep fighting my way through it. Naysayers be damned. Trying to help my 20-year-old daughter get through junior college, but it's very hard. She's ASD/ADHD and every day is a new experience. Like so many, I'm just struggling to get by and not set fire to the current political settings. I'm glad to be here though, and I hope to find a solid job after years of being a stay-at-home parent. One bite at a time, I figure. Thank you all for being here.
OK, so this is really quite selfish but it has been my existence the last four years of my life. In March of 2020 I found out that a man who sexually abused me as a young teenager was a pediatric orthopedic surgeon in West Des Moines. Covid hit. I lost my shit. (see what I did there!)
Fast forward, I filed a complaint with the the Iowa Board of Medicine. They did nothing. Correct - nothing. I got on my big girl panties and went very public with my story - Lyz and I connected and she wrote a story about it. (Thank you!) I shared on FB, Twitter, TV, newspaper, anyone who would listen. I wrote well over 200 letters, I drove myself crazy trying to get him away from kids. The good news is that I literally ran him out of business as facilities refused to let him admit patients, insurance companies pulled their coverage, patients quit showing up and he "retired" in May of 2023. The very sad news is that he abused an eight year old child in June of 2023. He has been in jail since June, he was denied the chance to have his $1 million bail lowered, and in February 2024 he was FOUND GUILTY (AGAIN).
For me.... last Friday.... I drove four hours to Des Moines and watched him stipulate to his prior conviction with me. He had to say "YES, I did that" to the judge over and over and over. He is now facing enhanced sentencing because HE IS A REPEAT OFFENDER. He will die in prison.
I have about $25,000+ in legal fees, postage, copying, etc. etc. and as a good friend said to me, "You don't ever have to give a dime to charity again. You have done more good by getting that scum bag off the streets." I'm good with that.
I am stubborn. I am persistent. I am tough. I was recently given a t-shirt.... "Fu(k around, Find out."
Thanks for letting me share and vent. I am experiencing some slow, cautious level of closure. Finally.
I gave my Mom a copy of you book and she liked it/agreed with it. Through the election and the pandemic my parents have changed, not for the better IMO. But hearing her say that about your book gives me hope that maybe she's not completely gone.
I'm starting a new business. The kids these days would call it a side hustle. It's going well, the responses have been positive. Gives me hope that I was right and maybe this could be a thing long-term.
Someone I haven't spoken to in over 8 years reached out over the weekend and said nice things and made me think maybe I'm not such a terrible person after all if after all this time, I'm still on someone's mind and I had a positive impact on their life. Gives em hope that maybe I didn't get it all wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'll be invited to a job interview soon. I was very on the fence about applying because I generally like my current job and would feel guilt about leaving it. But so many things that have happened at work in the 4 weeks since the application deadline have helped me confirm that I am as underappreciated as I feel. Hoping for their sake that my work is as important as they feel it is, and not as important as I feel it is.
I had the good fortune to attend a children's music festival on the weekend because my daughter's school choir was participating. The finale was all the choirs coming together to perform a final number. Nothing cleanses your soul of discouragement annd cynicism quite like the voices of 850 kids singing Why We Sing.
This is a week old, but still resonant. It was a beautiful day here in Vermont last Monday for the eclipse. We drove an hour north to Burlington for a longer totality interval (a little over 3 minutes, vs. about 1 minute). Before lunch we took a walk along the bike path next to Lake Champlain. People had claimed their spots with lawn chairs and blankets well before the 2:14 pm start. It was crowded by Vermont standards, but everyone was smiling and excited and friendly. Vermonters relished the beautiful spring atmosphere just days after a major snowfall. We watched the eclipse from our son's neighbor's yard, and heard cheers at the beginning and end of totality from the lakeside park a few blocks away. We waited until after dinner to head south, but still found significant traffic. Approaching a side road, I could see the headlights of cars backed up for half a mile trying to turn on to the major road we were on. When we reached the intersection, it became clear that an alternating pattern of letting people on the main road had been established, even though the other road had a stop sign and we didn't. Somehow this made me feel better about humanity, at least in that moment.
This week I got to write recommendations for 4 of my 9 employees to get promoted. I have a great team!
My magnolia tree is in full bloom and I caught a salmon in Lake Michigan yesterday. Also, yesterday I got to play with four of my seven grandkids.
my good things: i have a couple: getting ready to go to an interview for the assistant director position in the writing center of the university where i am getting my MA in english lit. i will graduate next year, 30 years after i received my BA from the same uni. i will be 68. to those who are going thru life changes later in life, doors closing and opening and all that. look around for the opportunities to do the things you always wished you had time for. do them now. ps: thanks for opening this up for free. maybe when/if i’m hired i can get a subscription, wish me luck!
I’m a single mom caring for my adult daughter with disabilities. I’m fortunate she’s in a program that pays me to be her 24/7 care provider. 💖 I moved to a new state that allows me to also work my side hack! For the first time in 10 years I’m getting an unexpected tax return! 💵This will be nice in my savings for a cushion either for a rainy day or for serendipity 🥳 to bring us some joy!
Only 5 more days and I'll be on a much-needed vacation with my favorite person (my husband)! We are driving to southern Arkansas and staying in a cute cottage on a lake and doing whatever we want for 10 days. I can't wait!
Its a beautifully sunny marathon Monday in Boston, and every year it thaws my seasonal depression to see so many people throwing their hearts and souls into the event
We lost our first pup in Dec 21 (he's in my little profile pic) and he was just the sweetest, best boy and it was so hard; my husband grieved for a long time (so did I, but in a different way).
But after time and healing and lots of talks, we brought home a new rescue pup on Friday and he is currently snoozing on the couch next to me and I love him so much.
My kids definitely give me hope. They're all Gen Z and Lyz is right, they do not pull punches and they see the world with realism.
Science gives me hope. A surgery I had 4 years ago has already changed a ton, with a much shorter recovery time. A friend had a cancerous tumor blasted away with some sort of nanoknife because it was sitting on an artery and they couldn't just excise it. So they blew holes in that fucker instead.
Gardening gives me hope. It's a perfect blend of optimism and realism. You hope things will grow and if they don't, you try again.
Art gives me hope. I think all the time about a tweet someone wrote about how during the dark times of early COVID, we all turned to art. I see writers working well into their 80s and beyond and hope that my mind and body cooperate so I can do the same.
1. Learning history - as screwed up as things are, a real true view of history shows they've always been pretty wacky and almost every "things were better back in the day" story is built on a mythological past.
2. My kids - the ease at which they accept a person's chosen gender and pronouns points towards a much better future. The rejection of "frat boy" culture that seemed ubiquitous to me in the 80's, the acceptance of drugs (now legal) but the choice not to use, rejection of conservative framing... it brings me such joy to know "the kids are alright". :)
3. I have as long a list of failings for the Biden administration as anyone (support for genocide, southern border insanity, inability to effect needed structural political changes, etc). But he's exceeded my expectations in willingness to spend government funds for economic production, supports labor, his labor secretary is awesome, inclusion of native folks in national resource leadership.
4. Spring. It comes every year, with all the new blooms, the birds singing, the clean wind and warm sunny days. The Earth's endless renewal puts all my petty human worries in perspective and I can shed my worries and bask in nature's re-awakening.
These things give me hope
I am in an accelerated 20 month RN program and the future of nursing is BIPOC multicultural GOODNESS. These kids (I'm 49) are aware and intelligent and open and really cool and I'd be happy to have 95% of them as my nurse. The kids are all right.
I love this topic & the thought behind it ❤️ a thing that gives me hope today is that there are so many people who care so deeply about changing the world for the better.
Greetings to all you fine people! Wasn't gonna share, but maybe someone can get hope from my experience. I find hope in psych meds. It took years to get one of my (now late 30s) children stabilized on psych meds- she used alcohol to self-medicate prior to that, and a nurse in the ER told me, "YOU are the sick one cuz you keep bringing her in." (*Yah, that really happened.) "You need to let her go and reach bottom." I blurted, "You mean, like, let her die?" (Yep, F*** that b***.) so FWIW...PS Thank you for letting non-subscribers in today- I appreciate your generosity!
I saw a couple of bees buzzing around my lupin yesterday-it has no flowers yet. There are dandelions and flowering fruit trees for them to feast on in the meantime. It gives me hope to see bees this early!
This is a weird hopeful thing, but after a life of trying to never fail and achieve and be there for everyone and do the right thing for everyone, I realize it's okay to not be good at something. Nobody is good at everything & that's okay. I always thought I'd be great at dealing with all the paperwork and crap after a death . . . Turns out that I am NOT, and that is okay. Sadness I can handle but all the GUNK (I believe that's the medical term) of grief has done a number on me. Still okay!
This is a small moment of joy, but we took my dad to a Cubs vs. Mariners game in Seattle this weekend. He grew up in Chicago going to the games, but hasn't been to one since 1985. It felt awesome to be able to treat him to a nice experience after all he's done for us as an incredible dad – plus the Cubbies won!!
PS – Lyz, he's excited to read your books, especially GOD LAND!
Well - mine isn't inspirational but I'm happy. I got a new top-loader washing machine on clearance yesterday so the beast of a front loader that leaves clothes smelling mildewy is out the door tomorrow. That, and I'm getting things together to order a ring designed by the guy from Bend that you featured a few weeks ago. He was really great, and I think I'm going to have a ring that means a lot.
My seed starter trays that are sitting in the sun on our harvest room table. They should start sprouting any day now, and I can't wait to get them into our flower and vegetable gardens. The hummingbird & oriole feeders that are ready to be filled in the basement. And my brother getting fired from his job. While he could experience a difficult time securing employment due to physical obstacles, knowing he is out of that toxic environment, where he was treated horribly for nearly 28 years, makes me feel hopeful that he’ll find something where he is appreciated for the amazing guy he is.
I went on my first date post-divorce. It was nice but I decided this person wasn't right for me. Old me would have taken the B- date and said there is enough to work with. That I can turn this into an A with a bit of effort. But I don't need to I can wait for my A date, who will be better suited to me anyway. I owe this to you, Lyz. Thank you!
my win sounds bleak but feels really nice: I'm finally feeling accepting and ready to move on over an estrangement from my family of origin. it's been a few very painful years but another recent loss really helped me realize that I no longer want to go back to how things were, when I had to make myself small and endure emotional abuse, just to say that I had "good" relationships with my parents and only sibling. it feels like I can really embrace what's next for me and bid them adieu in my heart.
I work for an environmental advocacy org. For a long time, there was hardly any hope to be had from work in climate change. But recently, some cool scientific advances have been made that will make it much more likely that we can address carbon and methane in a meaningful way. That gives me so much hope. Also ... young people. This next generation of 20+ year olds are the most fired up generation I've seen in my 30 years of climate work. They're not going to half-ass their advocacy and cave to compromises that render them powerless. I'm grateful, hopeful and here to do whatever they need to be successful.
dogs. and whoever said "DOG is just GOD spelled backwards."
oh, also everyone here today! so uplifting to be part of a supportive community.