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"A more perfect woman wouldn’t have fought back. A more perfect woman would be dead. "

Made me think of Darah Horn's 2021 thoughtful book "People Love Dead Jews: Reports from a Haunted Present," which describes what happens when people are treated like objects of other people's projected ideals and conceptions instead of fully, complicated human beings.

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There are just too many stories. This includes victims of domestic violence, who are blamed for their abusers' actions and continue to be abused if they leave and have children with their abusers. A good friend only got peace once her ex died, which he thankfully did while she and her child were still relatively young. She, like many others, survived but endured rape, and psychological terror, and then had to witness her child being abused as well, all the while having people tell her she should forgive her ex or assuming she was making a big deal out of nothing. Ugh.

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How to help the victim? Do we put together a “Go Fund Me” to lift the burden of $150,000 reparations to be paid to the family of the abuser? Fighting to change the Iowa law which gave the judge no other option than those reparations seems to be a losing battle. Would an appeal help?

This girl was incarcerated for TWO FUCKING YEARS of her young life, waiting for Justice that kinda came for her. I can only hope those two years gave her structure and safety and hope.

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One wonders what the verdict would have been for a white girl. This story is appalling, and who in their right mind jails a girl who was trying to save her life?

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Sep 14, 2022Liked by lyz

I think you write about these things to continue to keep truth in the forefront of our minds and daily lives. And to present knowledge of things in our world that need to change. I don't know...but I do know that I need to read what you write. Yesterday, I watched Pieper's proceedings and only heard about half of her statement. I'm going to watch the rest today. https://who13.com/news/watch-pieper-lewis-full-statement-at-her-sentencing-hearing/ (gofundme is now up to $176k) Thanks, Lyz

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Sep 14, 2022·edited Sep 14, 2022Liked by lyz

Thanks for sharing Pieper's story. It may not solve the larger issues, but I think it's important to speak on behalf of the voiceless and publicly continue saying that Black Lives Matter. And your newsletter community gives us all a chance to congregate, commiserate, learn more, and keep fighting.

This week's New Yorker has a piece that further illustrates the challenges to women coming forward with sexual assault allegations. In many states, the accused don't even have to go to the level of claiming defamation. Instead, they're able to turn the tables before a case is even made public by charging the accuser with "making false alarms," which at least in some states is a felony.

From the article "The Victim Who Became the Accused":

"The offense of making a false report—punishable by law in most states—was originally applied to people who had wasted public resources by reporting nonexistent fires or catastrophes. But beginning in the seventies, when the women’s movement was advocating for a broader understanding of sexual assault, these statutes began to be adapted to allegations of rape."

In the course of this particular case, the lawyers for the accused used the false report rules to intimidate not only the victim and other women who had come forward, but also the victim's lawyer who nearly dropped the case in fear of being put on trial herself.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/09/12/the-victim-who-became-the-accused

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infuriating. just fucking infuriating.

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In the US military they've had to fight for a sexual assault reporting system completely outside the normal chain of command. I wonder all the time - what would happen if we had a separate entity that took reports of domestic violence and abuse, and adjudicated them?

In the research I've seen, 40% of police officers admit to *committing* domestic violence. Surprise surprise, they're not great at shutting it down. If anyone's read "No Visible Bruises" it's just enraging, how the whole system is stacked against the victim/survivor.

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Sep 14, 2022Liked by lyz

Excellent essay today! Thank you.

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Another sad commentary on our political and justice system. I am continually amazed people keep reelecting the same old white men as judges and representatives at every level of government. What happened to Pieper is a travesty. We just keep perpetuating the same double standards for the sexes.

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It's a horrifying story, and I was happy to contribute, to the GoFundMe although it's a travesty that the rapist's family will get the money.

By the way, since I've subscribed to MYaM, my ears perk up any time Iowa is mentioned in the news. So there was an article about an Iowa union leader who is from Uganda, and I ended up subscribing to the Des Moines Register because that was the only way I could read it. Only $1 for a 6 month trial subscription!

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I'm a public defender and I will never adapt to seeing the same smug State Attorneys advocate on behalf of the "victims" like this poor girl's trafficker, "victims" that the same agency will happily prosecute within an inch of his or her life if found with an ounce of cocaine or an illegal firearm. They say they represent "the people" but what they really do is systematically deprive them of their rights, liberty, and life itself. At least here in Florida the State Attorney's Office has way too much power. Sounds like it's true in Iowa too.

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Thank you for writing about this. Some states protect survivors explicitly through anti-SLAPP legislation, but not all, and not all that exist have been tested in the court system yet. Defamation defense is complex and starts alums $25k. Just the threat is enough to silence survivors and advocates.

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Lyz, another great piece. Too often, women and people of color are put into damnable positions by circumstance and not afforded the benefit of the doubt that seems to be exclusive to white, upper income progeny like a certain Supreme Court justice, a former president (or two or three), and many, many more--as if their lives are more valuable for the families that birthed them.

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Another slight update to your story. The old Iowa Girls' State Training School/Iowa Juvenile Home was in Toledo, not Tama. I know the two towns are right next to each other, easy to confuse. I also remember when former Gov Branstad closed that home, causing this type of situation.

https://www.tamatoledonews.com/news/local-news/2020/05/07/toledo-to-provide-security-oversight-for-closed-juvenile-home-girls-training-school/

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I donated a small amount yesterday and was happy to see the amount over $200,000 at that time. Today it is at $416,000. The money is very important but it is also important to send a message, we are with you, we support you, do well, people care about you. Just watched Season 5 episode 1 of Handmaid’s Tale. Amazing.

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