It is only New Yorkers (and by that I mean those people who reside in the Big Apple, not say, me over here in the Central Western hinterlands) who insist the best and only true bagels are from NYC because of the water. The rest of us know the best are probably from somewhere else. San Fran, maybe? The best bagel I've ever had was in Montreal.
Montreal has many best things. Good sex stores. Great food. A clean and artful subway. And they still have phone booths, which is like discovering a dinosaur in the wild.
Montreal is awesome and the food was very much like being in Paris! They also have legal weed! Something I noticed as we walked around Montreal is cars actually yield to pedestrians and when the light turns yellow, cars actually stop. No big trucks blocking the streets. Felt very safe walking everywhere. There are abundant bike lanes and people are out there riding their bikes to work, taking their kids to school on a bike. Many of the Ubers that we took were electric or hybrid.What a stunning difference from the US with aggressive drivers and their giant trucks...Je taime Montreal!
It *is* very walkable, which I love. The food culture there is amazing; it's very international. I had the best shakshuka in my life there sitting at a cafe table in the sunshine, followed by the best coffee, and I was pretty much in heaven.
they have phone booths??? heavens above!!! the only city in canada that i have visited is kingston. absolutely loved it and was ready to move to canada immediately. this was back in the day when you didn't need a passport to cross the border. ah, the good old days.
Vancouver is also lovely, though everyone is so starved for light that the town is filled with round tower apartment buildings so everyone can have a lanai and they look weirdly like penises.
that would be weird. 🤣 our son-in-law was stationed at fort drum in upstate new york so that's how we came to go to kingston. i wish that we'd had the opportunity to explore more of canada. two canadian favourites: louise penny's inspector gamache series and the tv series 'corner gas.' i have the complete dvds of the series and it still makes me laugh.
I spent three years of my childhood in Tisdale, Saskatchewan, where Brent Butt was from (he would have been a baby at the time, if he was born yet at all...!), and I remember the gas station that served as the model for Corner Gas. Melfort, down the road, was the model for the infamous Wullerton!
I’m baffled that so many NYC friends are so passionate about who has the best bagels. Most bagels I’ve had have been good but not in a way that one is distinguishable from the other. And, yes, I’ve eaten at well rated NYC bagel places. They all just…taste like bagels.
I really want a place to open here in Austin called ‘Bagels and Martinis’ that just serves many varieties of said foodstuffs, the bagels with appropriate condiments. Absent that, let me praise our local bagel place, Wholy Bagel, and its December specials, the Maple bagel for Hannukah (blue and tan dough) and the gingerbread Christmas bagel.
Since we’re talking Dinguses, I would like to nominate Matt Taibbi as Dingus for next week based on a post he put up late yesterday insulting Justin Trudeau and defending Trump for Trump’s reference to Trudeau as governor of ‘the great state of Canada.’ Taibbi is under the impression that the US President is the Chief Internet Troll and insult comic, and that somehow this was a really good joke. In fact, Canada is the largest US trading partner and shares with us the largest undefended border in the world. Trudeau is a child of privilege — unlike Horny Handed Son Of Toil Donald Trump — but he’s also the prime minister of our most important ally and deserves decent treatment.
There’s a lot of crap in Taibbi’s piece, but this paragraph distills everything wrong with Russia’s bargain pundit:
“ Now, Trump is back in office, the WEF types are on the run everywhere, and being a handsome censorship advocate who positioned Canada as the world’s model for upper-class authoritarianism won’t count for much. There is a deserved thirst for reprisal south of the border, as Trudeau was one of the leaders of a movement to stem “the anarchy and lawlessness” on the Internet, as his Justice Minister Arif Virani put it. The world came very close to smothering the First Amendment recently, and if it had succeeded, Trudeau would have been the man combing his hair over its corpse.”
Honestly, when I saw your comment I was like “surely he’s been dingus before.” But he hasn’t. I’m shocked I haven’t picked him. He’s been nominated several times.
He’s been very lucky in choosing to publish his worst stuff in weeks when other people were more deserving of the award. I am sure he’ll eventually get his well-earned honor!
Trump's "jokes" about Canada as the 51st state, and "Governor Trudeau" aren't just insulting to Trudeau but to all Canadians and our country. There's a very small minority here who would likely welcome that prospect, but the vast majority of us are definitely not laughing.
In Canada we shake our heads in pity at the elementary school bully jibes from DT, which more than adequately demonstrate his educational and intellectual level. That an office that has been graced by true public servants like FDR and President Obama is now so demeaned, we are not threatened or goaded, only profoundly embarrassed for our good neighbor to the South. The good news is, like all schools, we will all eventually graduate and move on, but it’s going to be a long four years and we are, like most civilized countries, both appalled and sick of him and his sycophants. Bon chance my American friends.
In the event that you need to fake your own death, I will be on the lookout for an HR newsletter "Ryzzler Yells at Managers" to subscribe to. I mean, I would smash that subscribe button. I've been spending too much time watching YouTube with my kids, but it's Dingus of the Week day so I get to make bad jokes in the comments before work!
As an east coaster, I agree with you that it IS NOT the water! I fight people on this all the time. To say that there is anything consistent about the municipal water supplies of countless cities and towns throughout the boroughs and north Jersey that does not exist elsewhere makes no sense.
What makes sense to me is that in NY and NJ, if you don't make the absolute best bagel in a 5-mile radius, you are out of business instantly. People have to try because the bar is high. Here in the midwest (where I am now and have given up on bagels), no one tries very hard because all the bagels are terrible and people think it's ok to eat terrible bagels.
I am jealous but also offer my sincere congratulations for you that you can get a good bagel where you are.
Also, are you only doing vodka martinis? Vodka or gin is very divisive, but damn I love gin. I am currently on a temp medication that I can't drink on, and I've already decided and am looking forward to a gin martini on Feb 22.
Not all alcohol is created equal. If you like the taste of gin, try a different brand. I found, for example, that Tito’s vodka doesn’t sit well with me and gives me a headache, so I now specify a brand. And I always ask, “What’s your well [fill in type of alcohol].” Drinks made from cheap well brands is a bane. Anyway, gin is amazing, imo; I wouldn’t give up on it without a fight.
But if you are ambivalent about gin, carry on! Happy cocktailing!
This is why I am all about moderation. I never want to have to completely give up the things I love. And omg, small amounts of Tanqueray have been my friend for a very long time. But I also know that moderation is something that comes easily to me in a way that it doesn't necessarily for others.
Honestly, I manage moderation on other things I love. Like good tequila. I can totally enjoy one really good margarita and be done, but there’s something about gin and tonics. I just don’t have an off switch for them.
The late Roger Angell, who was alive at the time, says the Gibson martini was the invention of an ad man named Gibson in the 50’s. Gibson had little tolerance for alcohol but the Mad Men culture of advertising required martini-fueled client lunches. Gibson arranged with the waiter to bring him water in a martini glass. To keep his order separate, he had a pickled onion added instead of an olive. His ability to down multiple drinks while staying sober impressed his companions and, thinking the onion somehow reduced the alcohol’s effect, they started asking for a “Gibson martini.” Angell recounts this in his book, “Let Me Finish.” He tells it much better because he was one the best prose stylists of the 29th century.
Also, the dingus of the year is Elon Musk’s mother.
I quoted Lyz on Facebook - "My friends, we have fallen out of the Lord’s favor. Americans are now nothing more than sinners in the hands of an angry DOGE." I got a notification from FB that I had possibly used hate speech. WTF?
Here in Phoenix, we have Bagelfelds, one of the few things I can thank Covid for. The founder, from Brooklyn, got bored during lockdown and started working on learning to make bagels. And succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.
I have to chime in and say there is nothing more disappointing than a bad bagel when promised a great one. I went to a place in Seattle on 15th near John and spent quite a bit of cabbage on so-so bagels. I like them a little chewy. These were not chewy.
I have to echo Matt Taibbi as a dingus (mentioned in an earlier post) even if he doesn't do anything. He is one of many unfunny snark writers who think they are smarter than everyone else. Like Bill Maher. I have no patience for that.
RE: your answer #2 - I get faking your own death and moving to Nevada - there are actually some great places in Nevada. But working in HR would introduce you to even more levels of Hell than you have experienced before. OTOH, it could give you some great material for your next best-seller.
Darn it! I have to cross cheese making in the mountains as a possible second career. While I do enjoy a New York bagel, I also enjoy them in my hometown.
The Tuah story makes me even more resistant to invest in bitcoin.
Bitcoin is the biggest scam since 17th century tulips. It’s incredibly harmful to the environment as well as being stupid. You are correct to avoid such investments.
I’m just disappointed she didn’t call it SPITCOIN..I mean it was right there people, c’mon!!
You win the internet today, sir!
Hahahahahahaha!!! ROTFL!!!
It is only New Yorkers (and by that I mean those people who reside in the Big Apple, not say, me over here in the Central Western hinterlands) who insist the best and only true bagels are from NYC because of the water. The rest of us know the best are probably from somewhere else. San Fran, maybe? The best bagel I've ever had was in Montreal.
Montreal has many best things. Good sex stores. Great food. A clean and artful subway. And they still have phone booths, which is like discovering a dinosaur in the wild.
Montreal is awesome and the food was very much like being in Paris! They also have legal weed! Something I noticed as we walked around Montreal is cars actually yield to pedestrians and when the light turns yellow, cars actually stop. No big trucks blocking the streets. Felt very safe walking everywhere. There are abundant bike lanes and people are out there riding their bikes to work, taking their kids to school on a bike. Many of the Ubers that we took were electric or hybrid.What a stunning difference from the US with aggressive drivers and their giant trucks...Je taime Montreal!
It *is* very walkable, which I love. The food culture there is amazing; it's very international. I had the best shakshuka in my life there sitting at a cafe table in the sunshine, followed by the best coffee, and I was pretty much in heaven.
Speak not poorly of my birth place, thou heathen! #NYbagelsorbust
[SNORT]
they have phone booths??? heavens above!!! the only city in canada that i have visited is kingston. absolutely loved it and was ready to move to canada immediately. this was back in the day when you didn't need a passport to cross the border. ah, the good old days.
Vancouver is also lovely, though everyone is so starved for light that the town is filled with round tower apartment buildings so everyone can have a lanai and they look weirdly like penises.
that would be weird. 🤣 our son-in-law was stationed at fort drum in upstate new york so that's how we came to go to kingston. i wish that we'd had the opportunity to explore more of canada. two canadian favourites: louise penny's inspector gamache series and the tv series 'corner gas.' i have the complete dvds of the series and it still makes me laugh.
We watched Corner Gas as well. We still say 'Jackass' to each other like the dad did.
and spit when the name of a rival town is mentioned?
I spent three years of my childhood in Tisdale, Saskatchewan, where Brent Butt was from (he would have been a baby at the time, if he was born yet at all...!), and I remember the gas station that served as the model for Corner Gas. Melfort, down the road, was the model for the infamous Wullerton!
spits!
Folks around here also love Toronto, but I haven't yet had a chance to explore.
I’m baffled that so many NYC friends are so passionate about who has the best bagels. Most bagels I’ve had have been good but not in a way that one is distinguishable from the other. And, yes, I’ve eaten at well rated NYC bagel places. They all just…taste like bagels.
I really want a place to open here in Austin called ‘Bagels and Martinis’ that just serves many varieties of said foodstuffs, the bagels with appropriate condiments. Absent that, let me praise our local bagel place, Wholy Bagel, and its December specials, the Maple bagel for Hannukah (blue and tan dough) and the gingerbread Christmas bagel.
Since we’re talking Dinguses, I would like to nominate Matt Taibbi as Dingus for next week based on a post he put up late yesterday insulting Justin Trudeau and defending Trump for Trump’s reference to Trudeau as governor of ‘the great state of Canada.’ Taibbi is under the impression that the US President is the Chief Internet Troll and insult comic, and that somehow this was a really good joke. In fact, Canada is the largest US trading partner and shares with us the largest undefended border in the world. Trudeau is a child of privilege — unlike Horny Handed Son Of Toil Donald Trump — but he’s also the prime minister of our most important ally and deserves decent treatment.
There’s a lot of crap in Taibbi’s piece, but this paragraph distills everything wrong with Russia’s bargain pundit:
“ Now, Trump is back in office, the WEF types are on the run everywhere, and being a handsome censorship advocate who positioned Canada as the world’s model for upper-class authoritarianism won’t count for much. There is a deserved thirst for reprisal south of the border, as Trudeau was one of the leaders of a movement to stem “the anarchy and lawlessness” on the Internet, as his Justice Minister Arif Virani put it. The world came very close to smothering the First Amendment recently, and if it had succeeded, Trudeau would have been the man combing his hair over its corpse.”
Honestly, when I saw your comment I was like “surely he’s been dingus before.” But he hasn’t. I’m shocked I haven’t picked him. He’s been nominated several times.
He’s been very lucky in choosing to publish his worst stuff in weeks when other people were more deserving of the award. I am sure he’ll eventually get his well-earned honor!
Trump's "jokes" about Canada as the 51st state, and "Governor Trudeau" aren't just insulting to Trudeau but to all Canadians and our country. There's a very small minority here who would likely welcome that prospect, but the vast majority of us are definitely not laughing.
In Canada we shake our heads in pity at the elementary school bully jibes from DT, which more than adequately demonstrate his educational and intellectual level. That an office that has been graced by true public servants like FDR and President Obama is now so demeaned, we are not threatened or goaded, only profoundly embarrassed for our good neighbor to the South. The good news is, like all schools, we will all eventually graduate and move on, but it’s going to be a long four years and we are, like most civilized countries, both appalled and sick of him and his sycophants. Bon chance my American friends.
In the event that you need to fake your own death, I will be on the lookout for an HR newsletter "Ryzzler Yells at Managers" to subscribe to. I mean, I would smash that subscribe button. I've been spending too much time watching YouTube with my kids, but it's Dingus of the Week day so I get to make bad jokes in the comments before work!
I love the use of an elder millennial YouTube reference in commentary about new trends
As an east coaster, I agree with you that it IS NOT the water! I fight people on this all the time. To say that there is anything consistent about the municipal water supplies of countless cities and towns throughout the boroughs and north Jersey that does not exist elsewhere makes no sense.
What makes sense to me is that in NY and NJ, if you don't make the absolute best bagel in a 5-mile radius, you are out of business instantly. People have to try because the bar is high. Here in the midwest (where I am now and have given up on bagels), no one tries very hard because all the bagels are terrible and people think it's ok to eat terrible bagels.
I am jealous but also offer my sincere congratulations for you that you can get a good bagel where you are.
Also, are you only doing vodka martinis? Vodka or gin is very divisive, but damn I love gin. I am currently on a temp medication that I can't drink on, and I've already decided and am looking forward to a gin martini on Feb 22.
Vodka for me. I had a bad time with gin once and its vodka from here on out
Not all alcohol is created equal. If you like the taste of gin, try a different brand. I found, for example, that Tito’s vodka doesn’t sit well with me and gives me a headache, so I now specify a brand. And I always ask, “What’s your well [fill in type of alcohol].” Drinks made from cheap well brands is a bane. Anyway, gin is amazing, imo; I wouldn’t give up on it without a fight.
But if you are ambivalent about gin, carry on! Happy cocktailing!
Unfortunately, gin and I liked each other too much back in the day and I had to give her up. I still miss her, though.
See my note above. I wouldn’t give up on gin unless absolutely necessary. Good luck!
This is why I am all about moderation. I never want to have to completely give up the things I love. And omg, small amounts of Tanqueray have been my friend for a very long time. But I also know that moderation is something that comes easily to me in a way that it doesn't necessarily for others.
Honestly, I manage moderation on other things I love. Like good tequila. I can totally enjoy one really good margarita and be done, but there’s something about gin and tonics. I just don’t have an off switch for them.
I see your point. Bummer.
(Me, reading this at work)
I should clock out early and go get a martini. ...
You absolutely should
The late Roger Angell, who was alive at the time, says the Gibson martini was the invention of an ad man named Gibson in the 50’s. Gibson had little tolerance for alcohol but the Mad Men culture of advertising required martini-fueled client lunches. Gibson arranged with the waiter to bring him water in a martini glass. To keep his order separate, he had a pickled onion added instead of an olive. His ability to down multiple drinks while staying sober impressed his companions and, thinking the onion somehow reduced the alcohol’s effect, they started asking for a “Gibson martini.” Angell recounts this in his book, “Let Me Finish.” He tells it much better because he was one the best prose stylists of the 29th century.
Also, the dingus of the year is Elon Musk’s mother.
I quoted Lyz on Facebook - "My friends, we have fallen out of the Lord’s favor. Americans are now nothing more than sinners in the hands of an angry DOGE." I got a notification from FB that I had possibly used hate speech. WTF?
Thanks for introducing me to Jesse Wells. He reminds me of John Prine (may he rest in peace).
He is brilliant, I've been following him for a hot minute and he just gets it!
Here in Phoenix, we have Bagelfelds, one of the few things I can thank Covid for. The founder, from Brooklyn, got bored during lockdown and started working on learning to make bagels. And succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.
Accurate and depressing. Except the bagel and martini and music part…
I have to chime in and say there is nothing more disappointing than a bad bagel when promised a great one. I went to a place in Seattle on 15th near John and spent quite a bit of cabbage on so-so bagels. I like them a little chewy. These were not chewy.
I have to echo Matt Taibbi as a dingus (mentioned in an earlier post) even if he doesn't do anything. He is one of many unfunny snark writers who think they are smarter than everyone else. Like Bill Maher. I have no patience for that.
Oh my friend, did you go to Rubensteins? That’s where the sadness begins.
That’s the place. Never again!
RE: your answer #2 - I get faking your own death and moving to Nevada - there are actually some great places in Nevada. But working in HR would introduce you to even more levels of Hell than you have experienced before. OTOH, it could give you some great material for your next best-seller.
Great article Ryz.
Darn it! I have to cross cheese making in the mountains as a possible second career. While I do enjoy a New York bagel, I also enjoy them in my hometown.
The Tuah story makes me even more resistant to invest in bitcoin.
Bitcoin is the biggest scam since 17th century tulips. It’s incredibly harmful to the environment as well as being stupid. You are correct to avoid such investments.
Ah. This explains the "DOGE is my co-pilot" bumper sticker I saw on the way to work this week. Knowing really is half the battle. Mahalo, Lyz.