Texas Thanksgivings are *all of this* plus ostentatious prayer before the meal, guns (hunting or target shooting) and way too much alcohol, sometimes followed by fisticuffs and/or shouting matches.
As a kid, I used to take a book and sit down the hill in a deer blind, which was essentially a plywood box full of spiders, to avoid everything until it was time to go home.
Now I'm in Portugal, blessedly free of Thanksgiving expectations. A friend and I had s boozy museum cafe lunch yesterday in the sunshine. I felt true gratitude.
A subgenre of Texas Thanksgiving is the Christian family who definitely all drink alcohol on their own but won’t admit it to or drink in front of each other, so nobody gets to drink, making all of the above more painful to get through.
My family is gathering today and this was a great way to prepare myself mentally while eating my breakfast and attempting to bully my children into an upright and presentable condition. My mother has engaged a professional photographer to take family photos before the feast. She's literally holding our food hostage until she has ONE NICE PICTURE FOR THE CHRISTMAS CARD. Love and patience to all!
I've been doing read-aloud of Dingus of the Week for my friend who came out of a two week coma and has to learn how to read again. So we've been assigned to read to him so he can hear our voices for positive reinforcement, but I think I do a pretty good job channeling lyz, if I do say so myself. Keep 'em coming!
Thanks for the early-morning laugh. I've been playing with the thought that there is a certain spiritual discipline in spending time living with people we are connected to but would not actually like in real life. It reinforces the awareness of shared interdependence that is what "thanks-giving" is really about.
My last family TG was in 1974. Your wonderful thoughtplay has me wrestling with issues of spiritual discipline. And then...and I'm not aiming for humor here...there's the question of how much cooking you want to do for people you don't like.
Here's a bit more on that, which I wrote last year, when times were simpler. It's a lot harder for me to write about interdependence this year with the Israel-Hamas war going on, but I've been thinking about the theme a lot - https://avbronstein.substack.com/p/what-i-said-last-night
I am gonna be so mad if I was not your first subscriber from Sweden. Because we do not celebrate Thanksgiving here, I decided to make s’mores in the microwave for my two oldest grandchildren and my daughter yesterday. I claimed it was in honor of Thanksgiving, but it was actually in honor of your festival of favorites, and I totally want to start doing that next year. my kid wants her husband to experience the joy of one traditional American Thanksgiving and so in early December, her dad is dutifully coming to this not fun town where we live to make a turkey and I will make the dressing and a few other sides. And then the next day I will have sage dressing with a fried egg and lingonberries for breakfast, and it will be delicious. Lingonberries are like cranberries only way less expensive in this country. so at my festival of favorites next year, I’m making sage dressing and opening a jar of lingonberries and everybody else can fend for themselves. Thank you so much for that new holiday, Lyz.
My MIL honestly asked me yesterday if I was sure the turkey I bought wasn't pre-cooked (GOOD GOD I'M NOT GREAT AT ROASTING THAT GD BIRD BUT I KNOW WHAT RAW POULTRY LOOKS LIKE, PEGGY).
Enjoyed this post, Lyz, and snort-laughed through it. Thanksgiving is a holiday done best with low expectations and lots of good humor. I bought two puzzles for my three 30-something children to do together.... and instead my youngest suggested playing a free online game on our phones called 'deathbyai.gg'. You are given a scenario in which you might die (death by attack of 500,000 puppies) and you have less than a minute to type up and lock in your response. Then the AI bot responds to you whether your strategy allowed you to live or die... and of course, everyone is reading the response at the same time. It was a HOOT. So much laughter. I loved it. BEST Thanksgiving in many a year.
Thanksgiving is not my favorite but in spite of my bad attitude we had a great day yesterday. Every year I wonder how I married into a family that doesn’t watch football!
Re fn 3, pie for breakfast: My mother justified this with a different Midwest maxim (and she was a NY’er): “Apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze.” Here’s to Carl and Eileen and all - happy Thanksgiving!
Carl is definitely correct on pie for breakfast. I always let my kids do this and their friends were shocked. Honestly though - fruit or pumpkin pie is way more healthy for breakfast than a donut.
Apple pie with cheddar cheese is a staple in Vermont. Why would you have it any other way? People say it's weird right up until they try it and then they are sad they've missed out all these years. The pie is, of course, done with a touch of maple syrup instead of sugar.
Testify... your Cheryl is my mother. To be fair, she came by it honestly, because her own mother was 13 times worse and performed her hardest-working-martyr cosplay in a Southie accent.
The only challenge for us yesterday was my dog, Jasper, and his keen interest in the turkey. No family over, no stress, except when my husband got really hungry about 18 minutes before everything was done. The gravy sucked but the rest was good. We are pumpkin pie people, and I'm sorry, while I can eat cheddar cheese or brie with apple slices, I just can't do apple pie with anything but ice cream or whipped cream. There is a barrier in my brain that doesn't allow sweet and savory to mix. I don't like fruit in salad, either, unless it is fruit salad. But I don't want to "yuck" anyone else's "yum" - so enjoy the hell out of that apple pie with cheese!
Honestly, I'm extremely lucky in the in-law department. My SIL hosted, and made sure to set aside a couple of things she knows I love. We also play way-too-intense games of 4-5-6. I don't know if this is a Midwest thing, or just my family's, but I love that it's how we teach kids how to gamble. I also love that we don't play Euchre, and that my 14 year old took the pot last night.
My mom on the other hand managed to bring up an ex-GF of mine (a relationship from, like, the late 90s that ended badly), talk at length about plane crashes (I work for an airline), and attempted a lecture on why I should eat green beans--a food she knows has made me reflexively gag since I was a toddler. Fun!
Next year, I think I'm going to try and work a double shift at work and skip it all....Or maybe just do brunch instead.
Texas Thanksgivings are *all of this* plus ostentatious prayer before the meal, guns (hunting or target shooting) and way too much alcohol, sometimes followed by fisticuffs and/or shouting matches.
As a kid, I used to take a book and sit down the hill in a deer blind, which was essentially a plywood box full of spiders, to avoid everything until it was time to go home.
Now I'm in Portugal, blessedly free of Thanksgiving expectations. A friend and I had s boozy museum cafe lunch yesterday in the sunshine. I felt true gratitude.
Omg the long ass prayer I forget about that
A Texas Thanksgiving sounds like a Dothraki wedding!
Congratulations on the life promotion. It's all unlimited ceiling once you take TX out of the recipe, but Portugal? Nice.
A subgenre of Texas Thanksgiving is the Christian family who definitely all drink alcohol on their own but won’t admit it to or drink in front of each other, so nobody gets to drink, making all of the above more painful to get through.
That sounds like pure hell!
grew up in texas so i hear you.
Congratulations on your escape!
It’s red wine and roasted chestnut season in Portugal! (was just there last week)
Enjoy! 🍷🌰
CKB- sounds like a dream! We are hoping to move to Spain in the next couple years!
How exciting! Hoping it comes together for you.
My family is gathering today and this was a great way to prepare myself mentally while eating my breakfast and attempting to bully my children into an upright and presentable condition. My mother has engaged a professional photographer to take family photos before the feast. She's literally holding our food hostage until she has ONE NICE PICTURE FOR THE CHRISTMAS CARD. Love and patience to all!
Honestly this is a very daring move of her to make and I respect it on some dark level
I've been doing read-aloud of Dingus of the Week for my friend who came out of a two week coma and has to learn how to read again. So we've been assigned to read to him so he can hear our voices for positive reinforcement, but I think I do a pretty good job channeling lyz, if I do say so myself. Keep 'em coming!
Oh my god I’m lightly horrified that a person coming out of a coma has to hear my words
Thanks for the early-morning laugh. I've been playing with the thought that there is a certain spiritual discipline in spending time living with people we are connected to but would not actually like in real life. It reinforces the awareness of shared interdependence that is what "thanks-giving" is really about.
My last family TG was in 1974. Your wonderful thoughtplay has me wrestling with issues of spiritual discipline. And then...and I'm not aiming for humor here...there's the question of how much cooking you want to do for people you don't like.
I love that view of things
Here's a bit more on that, which I wrote last year, when times were simpler. It's a lot harder for me to write about interdependence this year with the Israel-Hamas war going on, but I've been thinking about the theme a lot - https://avbronstein.substack.com/p/what-i-said-last-night
I am gonna be so mad if I was not your first subscriber from Sweden. Because we do not celebrate Thanksgiving here, I decided to make s’mores in the microwave for my two oldest grandchildren and my daughter yesterday. I claimed it was in honor of Thanksgiving, but it was actually in honor of your festival of favorites, and I totally want to start doing that next year. my kid wants her husband to experience the joy of one traditional American Thanksgiving and so in early December, her dad is dutifully coming to this not fun town where we live to make a turkey and I will make the dressing and a few other sides. And then the next day I will have sage dressing with a fried egg and lingonberries for breakfast, and it will be delicious. Lingonberries are like cranberries only way less expensive in this country. so at my festival of favorites next year, I’m making sage dressing and opening a jar of lingonberries and everybody else can fend for themselves. Thank you so much for that new holiday, Lyz.
I hope to see pictures!
My MIL honestly asked me yesterday if I was sure the turkey I bought wasn't pre-cooked (GOOD GOD I'M NOT GREAT AT ROASTING THAT GD BIRD BUT I KNOW WHAT RAW POULTRY LOOKS LIKE, PEGGY).
Enjoyed this post, Lyz, and snort-laughed through it. Thanksgiving is a holiday done best with low expectations and lots of good humor. I bought two puzzles for my three 30-something children to do together.... and instead my youngest suggested playing a free online game on our phones called 'deathbyai.gg'. You are given a scenario in which you might die (death by attack of 500,000 puppies) and you have less than a minute to type up and lock in your response. Then the AI bot responds to you whether your strategy allowed you to live or die... and of course, everyone is reading the response at the same time. It was a HOOT. So much laughter. I loved it. BEST Thanksgiving in many a year.
Oh that’s a fun game!!!
"Let go and let god put some garlic in one dish, Cheryl!" I am ded
Thanksgiving is not my favorite but in spite of my bad attitude we had a great day yesterday. Every year I wonder how I married into a family that doesn’t watch football!
You somehow married the only man in the Midwest who doesn’t care about football!!!
Re fn 3, pie for breakfast: My mother justified this with a different Midwest maxim (and she was a NY’er): “Apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze.” Here’s to Carl and Eileen and all - happy Thanksgiving!
Carl is definitely correct on pie for breakfast. I always let my kids do this and their friends were shocked. Honestly though - fruit or pumpkin pie is way more healthy for breakfast than a donut.
My favorite is grandma's yeast rolls slathered with my sister's boozy cranberries. Breakfast of champions.
Apple pie with cheddar cheese is a staple in Vermont. Why would you have it any other way? People say it's weird right up until they try it and then they are sad they've missed out all these years. The pie is, of course, done with a touch of maple syrup instead of sugar.
Oh my god, my MIL was named Cheryl and after she "slaved all day", she wouldn't even sit down to eat, she would start cleaning up while we ate.
Testify... your Cheryl is my mother. To be fair, she came by it honestly, because her own mother was 13 times worse and performed her hardest-working-martyr cosplay in a Southie accent.
🤣
O.O
The only challenge for us yesterday was my dog, Jasper, and his keen interest in the turkey. No family over, no stress, except when my husband got really hungry about 18 minutes before everything was done. The gravy sucked but the rest was good. We are pumpkin pie people, and I'm sorry, while I can eat cheddar cheese or brie with apple slices, I just can't do apple pie with anything but ice cream or whipped cream. There is a barrier in my brain that doesn't allow sweet and savory to mix. I don't like fruit in salad, either, unless it is fruit salad. But I don't want to "yuck" anyone else's "yum" - so enjoy the hell out of that apple pie with cheese!
Honestly, I'm extremely lucky in the in-law department. My SIL hosted, and made sure to set aside a couple of things she knows I love. We also play way-too-intense games of 4-5-6. I don't know if this is a Midwest thing, or just my family's, but I love that it's how we teach kids how to gamble. I also love that we don't play Euchre, and that my 14 year old took the pot last night.
My mom on the other hand managed to bring up an ex-GF of mine (a relationship from, like, the late 90s that ended badly), talk at length about plane crashes (I work for an airline), and attempted a lecture on why I should eat green beans--a food she knows has made me reflexively gag since I was a toddler. Fun!
Next year, I think I'm going to try and work a double shift at work and skip it all....Or maybe just do brunch instead.
I really feel the MiL one. Shout-out to Bob and Susan for complaining the gravy was 'too spicy .' We finally figured out it was the black pepper.💀💀💀
Your drink sounds like what the lovely friends I invited as buffers to keep me from slaughtering my own elders brought to VASTLY improve the day - Thanksgiving Jungle Juice from Delish: https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a56619/thanksgiving-jungle-juice-recipe/