Dingus of the Week: Anyone Taking Horse Dewormer
What a week, we need a drink
Hi! Welcome to the Weekly Dingus, my Friday newsletter, where I round up my internet reads, share a drink, and yell about a dingus. Is that dingus a politician? A boat in a canal? My dog? Or maybe it’s just pants. You can read about past weekly dinguses in the archives.
This week, the Supreme Court decided to take a “wait and see” approach to Texas’s law that allows private citizens to become bounty hunters on anyone who receives or helps aid in an abortion.
Essentially, Supreme Court justices, arbiters of the actual law, were like, “What if we just let a law where Americans enact vigilante justice play out a little? What harm could happen? Let’s see!” As they popped popcorn and turned on Fox News.
Which seems like an absolutely terrible idea considering that it is the actual American populace that is taking ivermectin, a horse dewormer to save them from the virus that we have an actual cure for.
And listen, I know. We’ve had weeks of horse-dewormer jokes right now, and you might be thinking, “What more can we possibly say here?” And the answer is, “Not much.” But it’s been a rough week and my dingus ethic is to not pick people who physically hurt people (besides themselves) or abuse them in any way, so that rules out most other options for this week’s dingus. In sum, let’s just continue to beat that wormy dead horse.
I think there is a temptation in a lot of our discourse to ascribe the actions of the truly idiotic to those who we deem “uneducated.” But not so with the horse-dewormer logic.
In fact, this week, we saw some of the g̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶s̶t̶ minds of our generation destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical, naked, dragging themselves through the social media streets at dawn looking for an angry way to justify taking a horse dewormer.
Listen, vaccine science isn’t new. The reason scientists were able to make the vaccine so quickly is that they could rely on the same processes they used with previous vaccines. And the vaccine is safe and effective. Trust me, a person who donated her body to science and now has a still-not-EUA vaccine coursing through her bloodstream. I’m great. I’m fine. I’ve never looked hotter in my life.
But I don’t think your brain is working quite rightly if you want to play dumb about vaccine science to justify people crapping their pants because they are taking horse dewormer. This isn’t a “both sides” scenario. And I’m not sure why it needs to be said, but apparently it needs to be said: DON’T TAKE A HORSE DEWORMER.
If there is another side to taking horse dewormer, it’s the cruel march of natural selection. Joe Rogan, podcast host beloved by all toxic ex-boyfriends, is COVID positive and taking ivermectin.
Which makes me feel like, you know what. Take it. Take all of it. Be miserable. I don’t care.
My friend Anna recently said that we know god is a woman, because she’s basically peaced out on us and given us the worst punishment, worse than smiting: She’s left us to our own devices.
This is the world we created. One where self-styled intellectuals “well, actually” for humans to take a fucking horse dewormer in a pandemic.
It’s time to drink.
What I Am Reading
This week, I am still slogging through Anna Karenina and thinking that perhaps Levin was a mistake of a character and I’m so glad Tolstoy didn’t have Twitter. Can you imagine his insufferable Tweets about the state of the serfs?
I read this story about a runaway that is actually far more complex and scary, and it features Soul Asylum.
Friend of the newsletter, and wonderful writer, Anne Helen Petersen wrote about the crisis of elder care.
I was on Nichole Perkins amazing podcast talking about RUNNING. One of my favorite things.
Also, change your clocks, it’s tired mom fall! And for The Riveter, I shared my best and hardest learned advice about surviving online.
An update on my last newsletter is that my son tested negative twice. I had to spend a lot of money on rapid tests, and we are ready for the next round, when it hits us.
Also, in regards to the news out of Texas — in my book Belabored, I wrote at length about the religious plan to control marginalized bodies, about forced birth, about how women’s bodies are only valued in relation to their ability to give birth, and on and on. It’s frustrating to write a whole book about something and then see it happen a year later. I’ve also written for Time about the efforts to curtail abortion and subvert our bodily rights. So, essentially, everything I and so many others have been warning came true. And I’m not really sure what else to say. But as a reminder, we could RATIFY THE ERA.
Also, sorry friends, I don’t make $800,000 a year on Substack….yet. But I am coming up on my one-year anniversary of doing Substack full-time and would love to hear what stories and topics you want me to cover.
What I Am Drinking
This weekend, I am having some friends over to burn things in my tiny fire pit and to eat pizza on my patio. I’m pairing our night of Tomaso’s pizza with the ’Rol and Rye, which is aperol and whiskey and club soda with a garnish of orange. Whiskey, as we all know, is perfect for cooler weather and for staring moodily into a fire.
Also, I would like to do a shoutout to White Claw, that perfect little piece of trash drink that one can drink at baseball games with friends and laugh a lot at stupid jokes about walk-on songs. I don’t think I’ve had so much fun in a long, long time.
I hope you all have a good weekend and remember the true spirit of Labor Day is to “protect the proletariat from the bosses and their screws. So hold on to your rifles, boys, and don’t give up your dream of a Republic for the workin’ class and economic liberty.”
Men Yell at Me is a newsletter about the places where our bodies and politics collide and yes, the occasional yelling man. Learn more about it and me (Lyz) here. You can sign up to receive the free weekly email, which includes interviews, essays, and original reporting. The Friday email is a weekly round-up of dinguses, drinks, and links. On Monday I have a subscribers-only open thread where we discuss politics and our bodies and more.