I told my friend Sarah this morning that my numbness is passing and being replaced by a spite-fueled defiant anger. I'm in my "fuck you, it's my country too!" era.
She replied with:
"Exactly same. You thought we were nasty before?!"
"Fuck" & "You" are two of the most powerful words in the English language. The sooner we (collectively) find ourselves in the "It's my country too" era, the better.
I said this in the chat yesterday and want to say it again- my One Good Thing this week was getting to express feelings within this community.
Lyz, thank you for what you have built here. And everyone else, thanks for making this one of the last open, engaging, thoughtful, funny places on the internet.
My ONE bright spot is the Maryland came through. Hogan was favored and had the money and sent about a billion things in the mail every day smearing Angela Alsobrooks, but she won. My county didn’t vote for her, but she won.
Lyz, this is the best thing I’ve read post election. You nailed every feeling I’ve been having plus the ones I had no way to articulate. And to the Dingus of the Week, I say as the mother of a trans daughter, go straight to Hell, Matt Yglesias!
Lyz, I am the mother of a trans child and your full-throated defense of trans people keeps me going on some of my worst days. I so appreciated your loud indictment of Matt Yglesias. Fuck that guy indeed. I have zero interest in "progress" if that so-called progress requires stomping all over other human beings in order to reach it.
What's getting me through this period right now is knowing there are people out there who not only acknowledge the humanity of my child, but will stand up for them and lift them up and cheer when they live their best life. All I want as a parent is for my child to have the same opportunities and the same rights and protections as every other mother's child. I don't think that's too much to ask. Unlike fossil fuels, rights aren't a finite resource and advancing the rights of others serves every one of us in the end, no matter our race, religion, sexuality, gender identity, etc.
I'm bracing for what's to come, but I will not let any person deprive me or my family of our joy. We will live in defiance of those who want to make us small, who want to make us scared, who want to make us believe we're less than.
I want to note (as the unofficial Dingus of the Week historian) that today is the 4th anniversary of the Dingus of the Week. The first ever Dingus of the Week was Iowa, which is obviously a Dingus and is also a place bursting with Good Things.
I'm so grateful to Lyz and all the people in this community for the love, sadness, joy, rage, and space we share with each other.
Reading this was cathartic, thank you Lyz. I’ve avoided most articles this week but reading newsletters has helped. As did finally deactivating my Twitter.
Same, deleted Twitter and put all my other social media in a file I’ve determined to touch only minimally. Haven’t watched news and just briefly read headlines and move on. This is my first post election piece. Thankfully no one in my close orbit is a Republican so I am cocooning until I feel a little stronger.
Since Wednesday I have been mindfully and minimally participating in my algorithmically served social media. I don't need to drink from the firehose (and probably never did/should have). The algorithms aren't serving me.
The only bubble that will keep anyone safe is a green bubble of money. And even that will burst eventually. Meanwhile, I was talking with a young woman this morning who is married to an American citizen, has her green card and she said, “Am I getting deported now?” Sadly, a legitimate question. We are all in for it in one way or another, all we can do is put one foot in front of the other, find community and speak our truth. The only way out is through.
"Get feral with rage and hope and kindness." You have such a way with words. this captures my general vibe these past few days. Like, I am going to love more fiercely than ever. I will fight for a world with guaranteed housing and healthcare. THAT IS A THREAT.
Thank you for the whole column, but mostly for this:
And the answer isn’t to be quieter, pull up the rug, make the tent smaller, make our hearts smaller, and retreat. Fuck no. The lesson is to be meaner, be louder, be more ruthless and aggressive in your kindness and love for your communities. Get feral with rage and hope and kindness.
Today I'm going to a dinner to celebrate the official designation of our union at the library where I work. I'll be working with them to determine our bargaining items (my high bar is "puppies in the break room!") and to get more people on board, those stragglers who just aren't sure, and also make sure we get raises to cover the dues for those who need every penny of their paycheck.
I'm working in my own "garden," cleaning out my basement and donating items, then I'll start focusing outward, seeing where I can volunteer my time and talents. Hell of a year it's been this week, but I'll slog on and up because I can't just sit back and let the cobwebs grow around me.
I'd add Shilpa Ray's Bootlickers of the Patriarchy, and a couple songs by Low-- Especially Me,(I'm hearing this now as pointed song to white women who voted for "safety" or whatever in their vote for T***p) and The Innocents. (Damn, I miss Mimi Parker). Also Natalie Merchant, Giving Up Everything.
I don't know why this song jumped into my brain as soon as I saw your post, because it doesn't fit, exactly. It's also the last remnant of the Christian music I used to listen to, but you probably wouldn't know. It's all about pain, and how we carry through it, and how we make ourselves vulnerable to each other. I love it in my soul.
I saw America clearly before this election. I don’t know how many times I was chastised for my thoughts on White America, all men, etc. I knew there has never been solidarity with the majority of White women- I thought this one time surely Dobbs would change that?
I hated being a Debbie Downer when other people were hopeful. I know NOW in spite of my reservations that I had more than a kernel of hope that we would be at the beginning of the end of the Trump Era and that’s why I am just as disappointed as everyone else who didn’t support him.
I am devastated for my kids and grandkids. I will never be able to tell them what my grandparents told me (the first Civil Rights/Title IV, Roe V Wade generation): you can be whatever you want. I always worry about their safety but now I worry about their patriotism and love of country. I always loved America and now I just love my family and friends. Is that MAGA was feeling all along, is that why they vote against their interests all the time?
My only hope is that smart women figure out how to incorporate men in their lives - if that’s what they want. And mostly importantly women will still have the choice in starting these relationships. If ending No Fault divorce happens - I’m pretty sure I will have to think about getting a divorce and living with my husband of 26 years. I will never let anyone have that kind of control over me. That kind of control could warp any relationship.
oh, bev, i am right there with you. here i am, a privileged white woman and, for the first time, i really don't feel safe in my own country. you have every right to say 'welcome to my club' and i respect that. so now i worry even more for my black friends and my immigrant friends. i can't imagine how this must feel. as for hope, i really didn't have any until that dratted iowa poll came out last week. then i let myself hope for three whole days. that didn't end well. but i promise you that i won't quit fighting and trying to educate myself and grow and change and be a voice for those who don't have one. i will die on this hill.
"The lesson is to be meaner, be louder, be more ruthless and aggressive in your kindness and love for your communities. Get feral with rage and hope and kindness. And remember the enemy isn’t your neighbors (well, unless your neighbor is Matt Yglesias); the enemy is the systems and institutions that profit from our labor and leave us nothing but strip-mined humanity in return. "
You stated the heart of the matter there. Thanks, as always, for your insight.
I told my friend Sarah this morning that my numbness is passing and being replaced by a spite-fueled defiant anger. I'm in my "fuck you, it's my country too!" era.
She replied with:
"Exactly same. You thought we were nasty before?!"
which is the correct reaction imo. Let's do this.
I am with you.
I'm a post-menopausal woman with zero fucks to give. Let's go!
absolutely!
This is my reaction. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE is a really good life philosophy.
Amen.
"Fuck" & "You" are two of the most powerful words in the English language. The sooner we (collectively) find ourselves in the "It's my country too" era, the better.
My first election post-divorce and about the only good thing about Wednesday was not having to wake up to face my spouse who votes republican.
AMEN, SISTER!
I said this in the chat yesterday and want to say it again- my One Good Thing this week was getting to express feelings within this community.
Lyz, thank you for what you have built here. And everyone else, thanks for making this one of the last open, engaging, thoughtful, funny places on the internet.
My ONE bright spot is the Maryland came through. Hogan was favored and had the money and sent about a billion things in the mail every day smearing Angela Alsobrooks, but she won. My county didn’t vote for her, but she won.
Yes, I was so relieved Alsobrooks won, and that the reproductive rights amendment question passed.
Lyz, this is the best thing I’ve read post election. You nailed every feeling I’ve been having plus the ones I had no way to articulate. And to the Dingus of the Week, I say as the mother of a trans daughter, go straight to Hell, Matt Yglesias!
Lyz, I am the mother of a trans child and your full-throated defense of trans people keeps me going on some of my worst days. I so appreciated your loud indictment of Matt Yglesias. Fuck that guy indeed. I have zero interest in "progress" if that so-called progress requires stomping all over other human beings in order to reach it.
What's getting me through this period right now is knowing there are people out there who not only acknowledge the humanity of my child, but will stand up for them and lift them up and cheer when they live their best life. All I want as a parent is for my child to have the same opportunities and the same rights and protections as every other mother's child. I don't think that's too much to ask. Unlike fossil fuels, rights aren't a finite resource and advancing the rights of others serves every one of us in the end, no matter our race, religion, sexuality, gender identity, etc.
I'm bracing for what's to come, but I will not let any person deprive me or my family of our joy. We will live in defiance of those who want to make us small, who want to make us scared, who want to make us believe we're less than.
Such an honest post. Haven’t read this kind of journalism anywhere else. It’s the writing that keeps me reading. Well
Done
I want to note (as the unofficial Dingus of the Week historian) that today is the 4th anniversary of the Dingus of the Week. The first ever Dingus of the Week was Iowa, which is obviously a Dingus and is also a place bursting with Good Things.
I'm so grateful to Lyz and all the people in this community for the love, sadness, joy, rage, and space we share with each other.
Reading this was cathartic, thank you Lyz. I’ve avoided most articles this week but reading newsletters has helped. As did finally deactivating my Twitter.
Same, deleted Twitter and put all my other social media in a file I’ve determined to touch only minimally. Haven’t watched news and just briefly read headlines and move on. This is my first post election piece. Thankfully no one in my close orbit is a Republican so I am cocooning until I feel a little stronger.
Since Wednesday I have been mindfully and minimally participating in my algorithmically served social media. I don't need to drink from the firehose (and probably never did/should have). The algorithms aren't serving me.
The only bubble that will keep anyone safe is a green bubble of money. And even that will burst eventually. Meanwhile, I was talking with a young woman this morning who is married to an American citizen, has her green card and she said, “Am I getting deported now?” Sadly, a legitimate question. We are all in for it in one way or another, all we can do is put one foot in front of the other, find community and speak our truth. The only way out is through.
"Get feral with rage and hope and kindness." You have such a way with words. this captures my general vibe these past few days. Like, I am going to love more fiercely than ever. I will fight for a world with guaranteed housing and healthcare. THAT IS A THREAT.
i plan on practicing aggressive love and kindness. just try and stop me!
Thank you for the whole column, but mostly for this:
And the answer isn’t to be quieter, pull up the rug, make the tent smaller, make our hearts smaller, and retreat. Fuck no. The lesson is to be meaner, be louder, be more ruthless and aggressive in your kindness and love for your communities. Get feral with rage and hope and kindness.
Today I'm going to a dinner to celebrate the official designation of our union at the library where I work. I'll be working with them to determine our bargaining items (my high bar is "puppies in the break room!") and to get more people on board, those stragglers who just aren't sure, and also make sure we get raises to cover the dues for those who need every penny of their paycheck.
I'm working in my own "garden," cleaning out my basement and donating items, then I'll start focusing outward, seeing where I can volunteer my time and talents. Hell of a year it's been this week, but I'll slog on and up because I can't just sit back and let the cobwebs grow around me.
The only aspect of this week that hasn’t been terrible is having my circle of family support and reading pieces like this.
Ditto times a thousand!
I have that Lily Allen song on my new post-election playlist.
Previously, the playlist was made up of one looped song by Tori Amos -- Trouble's Lament.
I've also added Shawn Colvin's Get Out of my House and for a little more rage, same song title, different artist, Kate Bush.
Anyone have any more suggestions?
I love this playlist you are putting together
I'd add Shilpa Ray's Bootlickers of the Patriarchy, and a couple songs by Low-- Especially Me,(I'm hearing this now as pointed song to white women who voted for "safety" or whatever in their vote for T***p) and The Innocents. (Damn, I miss Mimi Parker). Also Natalie Merchant, Giving Up Everything.
Skin - Vigilantes of Love https://youtu.be/vy15OXC1uls?si=aPf0XAw6UYJla7hl
I don't know why this song jumped into my brain as soon as I saw your post, because it doesn't fit, exactly. It's also the last remnant of the Christian music I used to listen to, but you probably wouldn't know. It's all about pain, and how we carry through it, and how we make ourselves vulnerable to each other. I love it in my soul.
Living Colour's Cult of Personality
https://youtu.be/7xxgRUyzgs0?feature=shared
Under the Table by Fiona Apple
Howard Jones' Things Can Only Get Better
Kind of cheeky: Jill Sobule “Heroes”
The morning after the election I had The Decemberists going through my head, “This Is Why We Fight”
Also P!nk “Walk Me Home”
https://youtu.be/1OuiuolN1r4?feature=shared “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” in honor of Himself
I saw America clearly before this election. I don’t know how many times I was chastised for my thoughts on White America, all men, etc. I knew there has never been solidarity with the majority of White women- I thought this one time surely Dobbs would change that?
I hated being a Debbie Downer when other people were hopeful. I know NOW in spite of my reservations that I had more than a kernel of hope that we would be at the beginning of the end of the Trump Era and that’s why I am just as disappointed as everyone else who didn’t support him.
I am devastated for my kids and grandkids. I will never be able to tell them what my grandparents told me (the first Civil Rights/Title IV, Roe V Wade generation): you can be whatever you want. I always worry about their safety but now I worry about their patriotism and love of country. I always loved America and now I just love my family and friends. Is that MAGA was feeling all along, is that why they vote against their interests all the time?
My only hope is that smart women figure out how to incorporate men in their lives - if that’s what they want. And mostly importantly women will still have the choice in starting these relationships. If ending No Fault divorce happens - I’m pretty sure I will have to think about getting a divorce and living with my husband of 26 years. I will never let anyone have that kind of control over me. That kind of control could warp any relationship.
oh, bev, i am right there with you. here i am, a privileged white woman and, for the first time, i really don't feel safe in my own country. you have every right to say 'welcome to my club' and i respect that. so now i worry even more for my black friends and my immigrant friends. i can't imagine how this must feel. as for hope, i really didn't have any until that dratted iowa poll came out last week. then i let myself hope for three whole days. that didn't end well. but i promise you that i won't quit fighting and trying to educate myself and grow and change and be a voice for those who don't have one. i will die on this hill.
"The lesson is to be meaner, be louder, be more ruthless and aggressive in your kindness and love for your communities. Get feral with rage and hope and kindness. And remember the enemy isn’t your neighbors (well, unless your neighbor is Matt Yglesias); the enemy is the systems and institutions that profit from our labor and leave us nothing but strip-mined humanity in return. "
You stated the heart of the matter there. Thanks, as always, for your insight.