Men are afraid when women laugh. Not giggles or titters or any of the other cute noises, but the full-throated mirth that makes some fools suspect we are laughing at them.
It's like they say: men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid [checks notes] oh wow, that is horrible. So much worse than someone laughing at you. And women just have to go through the world dealing with this shit? Someone ought to do something about that.
Yes, please, let's say the whole thing out loud. Margaret Atwood quotes are not Voldemort. "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
I think it's important that we take people's comments in the best possible light. Especially in this comment section, because people are paying to be here . I don't this this commenter wasn't censoring, but assuming, correctly, that most readers here would understand the context.
Oh yes, I'm sorry if that came off as personal--I certainly did not mean it that way (ah, the internet). Just wanted to properly attribute a clear and relevant quote.
Oh my, that was one of my biggest pet peeves in my bar crawling days - "why don't you smile?" Like I was supposed to be sitting on a barstool with a bud light in one hand, a Marlboro light in the other, grinning like a lobotomized shell of a woman while the drunk fools around me eat the rest of my brain.
I once worked at a bar in my early 20s, and one night the owner, after getting drunk at the bar when he was off work, came up to me, grabbed my arm, and said if you don't start smiling you're fired. I set my tray down and walked out the back door. I wish I would yelled, or at least sued the prick.
My 81 yr old liberal-leaning dad brought up how ridiculous it was for Kamala to be attacked for her laugh. For all his flaws, he has always appreciated a woman with a good sense of humor and a hearty laugh - it's one of the first things he mentioned when I asked him what attracted him to my late mother.
One of the first things that attracted me to my wife of 25 years was her raucous laughter -- and that's probably the number one sound our neighbors hear all the time: the pair of us laughing uproariously!
The other day, we were both working on chores in the bedroom and I asked where she wanted her phone "down there" _waves hand_ so I put it on the bed rail (where it usually sits overnight) and went back to our "office". Then I hear a yell "where's my phone?" "on the bed rail" "I can't reach it!" I go back into the bedroom to move her phone and tell her "you need to grow longer arms!" with a smirk and get "fuck you, gorilla arms!" and then we both fall about laughing again!
We joke that marriage is all about yelling at each other from different rooms :)
give the superfan some points -- they picked a vibe with a clit stimulator. I wouldn't have thought they'd have acknowledged the clit, let alone included it in the fun!
OK, I'd wondering why Mrs. Frazzled has been talking about having to deal with a spate of credible death threats. I guess this dingus summoned his flying monkeys to torment doxx and stalk her.
One of the last history-related bits of writing I did before leaving my ex was the introduction to a reprint of a New York woman's civil war diary. I was dragging through the end of a violent, oppressive marriage, and I came on her words, "the dreadful lottery of matrimony." I won't say that's why I left, but it was one of the clearest signs I got.
"But marriage has been a violent trap and an engine of inequality" would have had exactly the same effect.
Looking forward to reading Liars, Louise Erdrich wrote an amazing novel, Shadow Tag, about many of the same themes.
"My autonomy is my joy." Sing it, sister! I've been divorced since I was 25, raised my children as a single mother, and never looked back. I'm now 72. Best decision ever! Thank you for your humor and calling out the downside of marriage for women. Love, love, love your book. ❤️
I divorced when I was 36, and it was bar none, the best thing I ever did. At the time I left, I said that I would rather eat garbage from a dumpster than to eat his shit for one more second of my life. 29 years later I still celebrate the anniversary (July 31!) No matter how hard it was to raise my three kids alone not once have I regretted it.
One of my friends the ex hated the most is one who LAUGHED out loud and with abandon. I'm sure there were many reasons he had for hating her, but I'll bet that was at the top of the list.
This is so purrfect today!!! >^. .^< I raised my daughter by myself, without any child support from her deadbeat dad, and walked her down the aisle when she got married (in a Catholic church--they didn't much like it, but it was her wish!). She turned out GREAT, too, in spite of my imperfect single parenting skills! I have been single with a cat (or 2) for the last 28 years, and laugh at the people who think I must be miserable. Nope! :D
I can’t imagine a better life than lying on my nice sofa in my own little house (700 sq ft to be sure) with my mini-dachshund, or my weenie to better fit the dialogue here, Butterbean, reading MYAM and laughing my ass off. Then working on my memoir which all the guys should be happy to note, has way too many men in it, albeit in their all-too-true worst light. And yes I am laughing at them and their current discomfiture. Run, Kamala, run— for the Presidency!
Thank you AGAIN and ALWAYS for your great insight leavened with perfect humor!
As a cis male who is making the painful/rewarding journey from evangelical-fratboy adolescence to liberalism, I want to agree with you whole heartedly - conservatives are voicing their fear and frustration at losing. They are losing in society, arts, respect, politics (except when they cheat). I think the "weird" meme captures this wonderfully. In the new, inclusive America, they and their ideas are what-kind-of-asshole-thinks-that-way weird. I know this because I've been there, coming to grips with friends in school and theater who were gay and obviously not evil like my pastor and family said. Realizing women were equals and then, later living with my wonderful wife, generally better than men (specifically me) at many/most things that are important. Discovering what's important is not what they were teaching in school. Learning about my privilege and US race history (thank you Tah-Nehisi and Kareem!). Honestly, the never ending process of stripping away the cruft of ignorance and spite that passes for education, religion and social norms in the America I grew up in!
It's still a journey - and you and many of your commenters are a big part in continuing to help me grow. Thank you.
My youngest son switched to rugby this year, and as a card-carrying soccer dad, I wasn't sure how it was gonna go, but I am ALL IN on this sport. The athleticism, the skill, the sheer strength needed to play at a high level...all of it. That last second try* and extra point were both incredible.
*several months in, and I'm still reflexively calling them "touchdowns."
Rugby is the best! Our son started at age 6 because our village had a club (this in soccerland). At 14 he stopped active play and became a ref for junior matches. My husband
started “helping out” and a decade later is a nationally-certified youth coach. My favorite thing about rugby is the emphasis on fair play and sportsmanship. The kids learn so much about working as a team, accepting rules, and treating one another fairly. Lessons for life.
when the womenfolk in our family get together, we laugh so hard that the tears literally run down our faces. at which point, the men begin to tiptoe quietly away. they love us to bits but i think we do scare them slightly.
I recently bought a house from a freshly divorced couple. Both parties had to be present. The guy was there with his male attorney, everyone else in the room for the closing was a woman. (There were about half a dozen of us bc real estate deals here are different from in the US.) Once everything was signed and the money was transferred, we all started chatting and laughing, congratulating the seller on her new journey and high fiving the bank officer and our attorneys for making a complex process really easy.
When I looked over at the two guys, they were standing there looking sour and confused, like they hated how the women were acting but also hated being shut out of the conversation and easy sense of connection and community. I thought, you can't have it both ways, fellas. You did this to yourselves.
Men are afraid when women laugh. Not giggles or titters or any of the other cute noises, but the full-throated mirth that makes some fools suspect we are laughing at them.
It's like they say: men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid [checks notes] oh wow, that is horrible. So much worse than someone laughing at you. And women just have to go through the world dealing with this shit? Someone ought to do something about that.
you got it.
The rest of the aphorism is that women fear that men will kill them.
Yes, please, let's say the whole thing out loud. Margaret Atwood quotes are not Voldemort. "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
I think it's important that we take people's comments in the best possible light. Especially in this comment section, because people are paying to be here . I don't this this commenter wasn't censoring, but assuming, correctly, that most readers here would understand the context.
Oh yes, I'm sorry if that came off as personal--I certainly did not mean it that way (ah, the internet). Just wanted to properly attribute a clear and relevant quote.
yep. exactly. i quoted this to my husband once and he looked completely appalled. he'd never heard that before.
Can’t remember who was the first to point this out but the same men who don’t like women laughing will tell other women to smile more.
Oh my, that was one of my biggest pet peeves in my bar crawling days - "why don't you smile?" Like I was supposed to be sitting on a barstool with a bud light in one hand, a Marlboro light in the other, grinning like a lobotomized shell of a woman while the drunk fools around me eat the rest of my brain.
I once worked at a bar in my early 20s, and one night the owner, after getting drunk at the bar when he was off work, came up to me, grabbed my arm, and said if you don't start smiling you're fired. I set my tray down and walked out the back door. I wish I would yelled, or at least sued the prick.
That's doing what they order you to do. Obedience is delicious to these bozos.
i laughed so hard reading lyz this morning that i almost choked on my morning cup of tea!
My 81 yr old liberal-leaning dad brought up how ridiculous it was for Kamala to be attacked for her laugh. For all his flaws, he has always appreciated a woman with a good sense of humor and a hearty laugh - it's one of the first things he mentioned when I asked him what attracted him to my late mother.
One of the first things that attracted me to my wife of 25 years was her raucous laughter -- and that's probably the number one sound our neighbors hear all the time: the pair of us laughing uproariously!
The other day, we were both working on chores in the bedroom and I asked where she wanted her phone "down there" _waves hand_ so I put it on the bed rail (where it usually sits overnight) and went back to our "office". Then I hear a yell "where's my phone?" "on the bed rail" "I can't reach it!" I go back into the bedroom to move her phone and tell her "you need to grow longer arms!" with a smirk and get "fuck you, gorilla arms!" and then we both fall about laughing again!
We joke that marriage is all about yelling at each other from different rooms :)
Pity the man who is afraid of a woman's laugh!
give the superfan some points -- they picked a vibe with a clit stimulator. I wouldn't have thought they'd have acknowledged the clit, let alone included it in the fun!
OK, I'd wondering why Mrs. Frazzled has been talking about having to deal with a spate of credible death threats. I guess this dingus summoned his flying monkeys to torment doxx and stalk her.
*been* wondering
“Enjoy telling some girl on Hinge about your protein goals, sir.” 😂😂😂😂🙌🏻
That's when I died 💀😂
One of the last history-related bits of writing I did before leaving my ex was the introduction to a reprint of a New York woman's civil war diary. I was dragging through the end of a violent, oppressive marriage, and I came on her words, "the dreadful lottery of matrimony." I won't say that's why I left, but it was one of the clearest signs I got.
"But marriage has been a violent trap and an engine of inequality" would have had exactly the same effect.
Looking forward to reading Liars, Louise Erdrich wrote an amazing novel, Shadow Tag, about many of the same themes.
"the dreadful lottery of matrimony" that hits hard, so accurate
"My autonomy is my joy." Sing it, sister! I've been divorced since I was 25, raised my children as a single mother, and never looked back. I'm now 72. Best decision ever! Thank you for your humor and calling out the downside of marriage for women. Love, love, love your book. ❤️
I divorced when I was 36, and it was bar none, the best thing I ever did. At the time I left, I said that I would rather eat garbage from a dumpster than to eat his shit for one more second of my life. 29 years later I still celebrate the anniversary (July 31!) No matter how hard it was to raise my three kids alone not once have I regretted it.
One of my friends the ex hated the most is one who LAUGHED out loud and with abandon. I'm sure there were many reasons he had for hating her, but I'll bet that was at the top of the list.
This is so purrfect today!!! >^. .^< I raised my daughter by myself, without any child support from her deadbeat dad, and walked her down the aisle when she got married (in a Catholic church--they didn't much like it, but it was her wish!). She turned out GREAT, too, in spite of my imperfect single parenting skills! I have been single with a cat (or 2) for the last 28 years, and laugh at the people who think I must be miserable. Nope! :D
Team USA WBB and the WNBA! So badass using their voices for change! This reminds me I need to watch that documentary about them.
On the plus side, your next book cover is now sorted!
lol. It has to be, right?
I can’t imagine a better life than lying on my nice sofa in my own little house (700 sq ft to be sure) with my mini-dachshund, or my weenie to better fit the dialogue here, Butterbean, reading MYAM and laughing my ass off. Then working on my memoir which all the guys should be happy to note, has way too many men in it, albeit in their all-too-true worst light. And yes I am laughing at them and their current discomfiture. Run, Kamala, run— for the Presidency!
Just here to say how much I love the name Butterbean!
Wow, he even gave you a dildo with a clit stimulator! Something he would never be able to do!
Yeah we're better off with the dildo than depending on a man to actually figure out how to make you come!
Thank you AGAIN and ALWAYS for your great insight leavened with perfect humor!
As a cis male who is making the painful/rewarding journey from evangelical-fratboy adolescence to liberalism, I want to agree with you whole heartedly - conservatives are voicing their fear and frustration at losing. They are losing in society, arts, respect, politics (except when they cheat). I think the "weird" meme captures this wonderfully. In the new, inclusive America, they and their ideas are what-kind-of-asshole-thinks-that-way weird. I know this because I've been there, coming to grips with friends in school and theater who were gay and obviously not evil like my pastor and family said. Realizing women were equals and then, later living with my wonderful wife, generally better than men (specifically me) at many/most things that are important. Discovering what's important is not what they were teaching in school. Learning about my privilege and US race history (thank you Tah-Nehisi and Kareem!). Honestly, the never ending process of stripping away the cruft of ignorance and spite that passes for education, religion and social norms in the America I grew up in!
It's still a journey - and you and many of your commenters are a big part in continuing to help me grow. Thank you.
Noah Smith had his typical geeky stats laden take on this phenomenon : https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/whos-weird
My youngest son switched to rugby this year, and as a card-carrying soccer dad, I wasn't sure how it was gonna go, but I am ALL IN on this sport. The athleticism, the skill, the sheer strength needed to play at a high level...all of it. That last second try* and extra point were both incredible.
*several months in, and I'm still reflexively calling them "touchdowns."
Rugby is SO MUCH FUN! I’ve been a fan since college in the 90s.
I don't know if he lucked into a great club or what, but it is almost impossible not to have a good time at these games.
That’s the essence of rugby! Despite being brutal, it’s a gentleman’s game and there’s so much good sportsmanship.
Right?
Me, after the first match: “What do you mean the teams eat together after the game?”
Rugby is the best! Our son started at age 6 because our village had a club (this in soccerland). At 14 he stopped active play and became a ref for junior matches. My husband
started “helping out” and a decade later is a nationally-certified youth coach. My favorite thing about rugby is the emphasis on fair play and sportsmanship. The kids learn so much about working as a team, accepting rules, and treating one another fairly. Lessons for life.
Does the guy that made this meme know that he's won gold in the Self-Own event?
when the womenfolk in our family get together, we laugh so hard that the tears literally run down our faces. at which point, the men begin to tiptoe quietly away. they love us to bits but i think we do scare them slightly.
I recently bought a house from a freshly divorced couple. Both parties had to be present. The guy was there with his male attorney, everyone else in the room for the closing was a woman. (There were about half a dozen of us bc real estate deals here are different from in the US.) Once everything was signed and the money was transferred, we all started chatting and laughing, congratulating the seller on her new journey and high fiving the bank officer and our attorneys for making a complex process really easy.
When I looked over at the two guys, they were standing there looking sour and confused, like they hated how the women were acting but also hated being shut out of the conversation and easy sense of connection and community. I thought, you can't have it both ways, fellas. You did this to yourselves.
and this tale makes me laugh as well. poor guys. they just don't seem to know how to relax and have fun.