41 Comments

“Ramaswamy at one point said the government was paying women to not live with men.”

Where’s my money? What’s the process for getting it? 😁

Expand full comment

I would pay money to sit in a room and watch you and Alexandra Petri riff off of each other for a couple of hours. Since I still have my two front teeth, this is all I want for Christmas.

Expand full comment

Freaky little drinks are absolutely necessary throughout the year. My current libations of choice are iced mint-chocolate tea and chinotto-flavored Italian soda. And I am lol'ing that someone dm'd you to complain about your "conspicuous consumption."

Expand full comment

The RNC loyalty pledge basically summed it all up. All of the other candidates signed it, asserting that they will support the eventual Republican nominee, whomever it is. Trump, of course, did not sign it. So this debate featured a bunch of people who have ALREADY PLEDGED THEIR LOYALTY TO TRUMP, who is the overwhelming polls leader. Why *would* he show up?

Expand full comment

I tried to watch the "debate" - and can we just now always use scare quotes when describing presidential debates? Anyway - I had it on for maybe one minute and realized my time was too valuable. I proceeded to watch Suits instead.

And thank you for the grandma video. I lived with my grandma for the last three years of her life. I was 30-33, and she was 93-96. It was probably one of my best decisions.

Expand full comment

Republicans at last night’s debate: Please make us relevant again, monkey’s paw!

Monkey’s paw: I’m about to end these men’s (and woman’s) whole careers.

Expand full comment

Frankly, Lyz, whatever you were drinking when you wrote this column was The Elixir of Bitter Bitch Rage and where can I find it in gallon jugs?

PS Adding Welcome to Atlanta … absolute perfection!

Expand full comment

I want you to know I read "Mug shots shots shots shots shots shots" in my head to the rhythm of Duran Duran's "The Reflex," as in, "The Reflex fle fle fle fle flex..."

Expand full comment

Omg the grandma video made me human again after reading about the insanity of the debate...the worst moment of the debate was that one guy saying that all refugees crossing our border should be ‘stone cold dead’ - I mean they are not even hiding their fascist death agenda anymore! (How they reconcile that statement with being pro-life I do not know!) 🥹🥴😣

Expand full comment

Lyz, would you help me out with something?

DeSantis keeps saying something about Biden and his basement. What is that a reference to? I know they showed Biden in the mayor of Coralville's basement doing a rally prior to the 2020 caucuses. But that's the only basement reference I know of. What are they talking about?

Expand full comment

I loved this whole newsletter so much. I personally thought Mike Pence looked as if he was made of wax or maybe bland cheese but your description was perfect. Thanks for making my Friday!

Expand full comment

You know who else was a dingus this week? people who bought tickets to Fyre Festival II

Expand full comment

Spectacular. You make Fridays worth living!

Expand full comment

I mean, I think Pence is a serious person. He’s completely delusional, as proven by the fact that he’s running for president at all, but he doesn’t seem like he’s trying gain the same notoriety as Desantis. I mean, all he’s getting now are projectile rotten tomatoes and the occasional MAGA lynch mob.

Expand full comment

Just popping in to say I voted for Fani Willis and I’ve been in such a self-congratulatory state since the indictments, you’d think I was carrying the entire American justice system on my back

Expand full comment

Meanwhile during Tucker and Trumper’s little “interview” they talked about Biden’s legs.

Expand full comment