I would pay money to sit in a room and watch you and Alexandra Petri riff off of each other for a couple of hours. Since I still have my two front teeth, this is all I want for Christmas.
Freaky little drinks are absolutely necessary throughout the year. My current libations of choice are iced mint-chocolate tea and chinotto-flavored Italian soda. And I am lol'ing that someone dm'd you to complain about your "conspicuous consumption."
The RNC loyalty pledge basically summed it all up. All of the other candidates signed it, asserting that they will support the eventual Republican nominee, whomever it is. Trump, of course, did not sign it. So this debate featured a bunch of people who have ALREADY PLEDGED THEIR LOYALTY TO TRUMP, who is the overwhelming polls leader. Why *would* he show up?
As far as he is concerned, he is the incumbent. And there is no reason to act otherwise if the other candidates treat are, to all appearances, running in a reality show that could be called The Apprentice: Vice President
I tried to watch the "debate" - and can we just now always use scare quotes when describing presidential debates? Anyway - I had it on for maybe one minute and realized my time was too valuable. I proceeded to watch Suits instead.
And thank you for the grandma video. I lived with my grandma for the last three years of her life. I was 30-33, and she was 93-96. It was probably one of my best decisions.
I want you to know I read "Mug shots shots shots shots shots shots" in my head to the rhythm of Duran Duran's "The Reflex," as in, "The Reflex fle fle fle fle flex..."
Omg the grandma video made me human again after reading about the insanity of the debate...the worst moment of the debate was that one guy saying that all refugees crossing our border should be ‘stone cold dead’ - I mean they are not even hiding their fascist death agenda anymore! (How they reconcile that statement with being pro-life I do not know!) 🥹🥴😣
How about the guy (scott) who wants to invade Mexico to kill the drug cartels? Doesn't he know the last time we tried to fight in a jungle 58,000 Americans were killed and we lost? They all seemed to forget they have to beat trumpus before they can take on Biden. What a bunch of phonies not worthy of carrying the water for a real leader.
DeSantis keeps saying something about Biden and his basement. What is that a reference to? I know they showed Biden in the mayor of Coralville's basement doing a rally prior to the 2020 caucuses. But that's the only basement reference I know of. What are they talking about?
To build on Avraham's comment, Biden's "remote" approach to campaigning in the 2020 general election was the responsible thing to do then (and probably now too, IMO) vs. holding rallies of unmasked and unvaccinated people during the early months of this pandemic.
So I think the basement thing that DeSantis keeps bringing up is meant to evoke something about Biden not being able to go out (which was never true) or that he was afraid to go out (also probably never true, though fear about catching COVID is legitimately a good reason to not go out) or that he could not draw a crowd bigger than Trump's if he did.
That last one may be true. I don't like Biden enough to wait in line to see him anywhere but if he's on the ballot for a general election I'm going to vote for him.
And the fact that it's possible to vote for someone and never wear their silly merch or put their stickers on your car or fly their flag is something a lot of people in a MAGA bubble refuse to accept.
I loved this whole newsletter so much. I personally thought Mike Pence looked as if he was made of wax or maybe bland cheese but your description was perfect. Thanks for making my Friday!
I mean, I think Pence is a serious person. He’s completely delusional, as proven by the fact that he’s running for president at all, but he doesn’t seem like he’s trying gain the same notoriety as Desantis. I mean, all he’s getting now are projectile rotten tomatoes and the occasional MAGA lynch mob.
He started his career writing little blog posts about how Mulan is an argument against women in the military. It's always fascinating to me how hard people sometimes work to take the most ridiculous humans seriously
Just popping in to say I voted for Fani Willis and I’ve been in such a self-congratulatory state since the indictments, you’d think I was carrying the entire American justice system on my back
“Ramaswamy at one point said the government was paying women to not live with men.”
Where’s my money? What’s the process for getting it? 😁
This is what I want to know!
Between this and being part of the Jewish cabal, I should really be so so rich ...
Right? I lived without a man in the house for like 15 years. I feel I’m owed back pay plus interest!
Yes, and mine? My last divorce was December 6, 1996, and the only males here with me have been cats, so,...
I should be eligible for back pay!
I would pay money to sit in a room and watch you and Alexandra Petri riff off of each other for a couple of hours. Since I still have my two front teeth, this is all I want for Christmas.
Freaky little drinks are absolutely necessary throughout the year. My current libations of choice are iced mint-chocolate tea and chinotto-flavored Italian soda. And I am lol'ing that someone dm'd you to complain about your "conspicuous consumption."
I think there is something there about thinking a starbucks drink is conspicuous consumption, but drinking a whiskey is not....Feels gendered somehow.
Maybe it's the implicit branding (or lack of such) as well? Or the faint sense that Starbucks might be cancelled? Or ALL 3 AT ONCE
The RNC loyalty pledge basically summed it all up. All of the other candidates signed it, asserting that they will support the eventual Republican nominee, whomever it is. Trump, of course, did not sign it. So this debate featured a bunch of people who have ALREADY PLEDGED THEIR LOYALTY TO TRUMP, who is the overwhelming polls leader. Why *would* he show up?
Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t just prerecord a video where he talks shit to every single candidate.
As far as he is concerned, he is the incumbent. And there is no reason to act otherwise if the other candidates treat are, to all appearances, running in a reality show that could be called The Apprentice: Vice President
True, but I meant that more in the sense of being a dick rather than actual campaign strategy.
I tried to watch the "debate" - and can we just now always use scare quotes when describing presidential debates? Anyway - I had it on for maybe one minute and realized my time was too valuable. I proceeded to watch Suits instead.
And thank you for the grandma video. I lived with my grandma for the last three years of her life. I was 30-33, and she was 93-96. It was probably one of my best decisions.
Yes to grandmas!
YES to Suits!
Republicans at last night’s debate: Please make us relevant again, monkey’s paw!
Monkey’s paw: I’m about to end these men’s (and woman’s) whole careers.
I think you've brought up the monkey's paw every week for the past three weeks.
True, it is becoming a dead horse at this point.
Either or, honestly
Frankly, Lyz, whatever you were drinking when you wrote this column was The Elixir of Bitter Bitch Rage and where can I find it in gallon jugs?
PS Adding Welcome to Atlanta … absolute perfection!
I want you to know I read "Mug shots shots shots shots shots shots" in my head to the rhythm of Duran Duran's "The Reflex," as in, "The Reflex fle fle fle fle flex..."
hahahaha meanwhile I'm over here with Lil Jon in my head.
Omg the grandma video made me human again after reading about the insanity of the debate...the worst moment of the debate was that one guy saying that all refugees crossing our border should be ‘stone cold dead’ - I mean they are not even hiding their fascist death agenda anymore! (How they reconcile that statement with being pro-life I do not know!) 🥹🥴😣
How about the guy (scott) who wants to invade Mexico to kill the drug cartels? Doesn't he know the last time we tried to fight in a jungle 58,000 Americans were killed and we lost? They all seemed to forget they have to beat trumpus before they can take on Biden. What a bunch of phonies not worthy of carrying the water for a real leader.
Lyz, would you help me out with something?
DeSantis keeps saying something about Biden and his basement. What is that a reference to? I know they showed Biden in the mayor of Coralville's basement doing a rally prior to the 2020 caucuses. But that's the only basement reference I know of. What are they talking about?
To build on Avraham's comment, Biden's "remote" approach to campaigning in the 2020 general election was the responsible thing to do then (and probably now too, IMO) vs. holding rallies of unmasked and unvaccinated people during the early months of this pandemic.
So I think the basement thing that DeSantis keeps bringing up is meant to evoke something about Biden not being able to go out (which was never true) or that he was afraid to go out (also probably never true, though fear about catching COVID is legitimately a good reason to not go out) or that he could not draw a crowd bigger than Trump's if he did.
That last one may be true. I don't like Biden enough to wait in line to see him anywhere but if he's on the ballot for a general election I'm going to vote for him.
And the fact that it's possible to vote for someone and never wear their silly merch or put their stickers on your car or fly their flag is something a lot of people in a MAGA bubble refuse to accept.
During 2020, Biden shot most of his campaign videos and messages from his basement in Delaware.
I loved this whole newsletter so much. I personally thought Mike Pence looked as if he was made of wax or maybe bland cheese but your description was perfect. Thanks for making my Friday!
You know who else was a dingus this week? people who bought tickets to Fyre Festival II
Spectacular. You make Fridays worth living!
I mean, I think Pence is a serious person. He’s completely delusional, as proven by the fact that he’s running for president at all, but he doesn’t seem like he’s trying gain the same notoriety as Desantis. I mean, all he’s getting now are projectile rotten tomatoes and the occasional MAGA lynch mob.
He started his career writing little blog posts about how Mulan is an argument against women in the military. It's always fascinating to me how hard people sometimes work to take the most ridiculous humans seriously
Yeah that’s fair, my bad
This is our life, most of the candidates are so outlandish that the merely ridiculous seem
reasonable by comparison
Just popping in to say I voted for Fani Willis and I’ve been in such a self-congratulatory state since the indictments, you’d think I was carrying the entire American justice system on my back
Meanwhile during Tucker and Trumper’s little “interview” they talked about Biden’s legs.