60 Comments

Also, yes, you do kind of agree to lose part of yourself when you have a kid. And if that's all you have to do, if your body is never the home (and property, apparently!) of a fetus that will, one way or the other, violently be freed from your body, that's a small price to pay, sir.

One of the sneaky reasons to subscribe to this newsletter as a cis het man is to Take Notes on the ways to be better. Because as a man, we are not really taught to strive for anything except Professional Success, and that's a crappy way to be a father or partner.

Also, and I know it's a reductive topic, but these hyper-normative relationships where the man forces the woman to do yard work is SO WEIRD to me. That's not even Good Gender Stereotyping! That's You Do All The Work, Woman!

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One of my favorite Bluey episodes is Stumpfest. Bandit hacking away at stumps with an axe in the backyard while also getting a manicure at the nail salon the littles set up. The world would be an infinitely better place if dads aspired to be more like Bandit.

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Junior's also wrong when it comes to Bandit. There are plenty of times when he plays "Dad Reads the Newspaper" while the kids play around him.

I'm basically a walking Bluey encyclopedia at this point in my life.

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Jul 21, 2023·edited Jul 21, 2023

In a small town, you can be murdered by a tweaker while you're spraying bugs in a rental.

In a small town, even some elementary teachers will believe that there's a litter box for furries in the high school in school nurses room.

In a small town, rumors can run rampant about one of the cops trying to exchange potential tickets for sexual favors.

In a small town someone can get fired from his D1 coaching position because he supported possible sexual assaulters on his team publicly. Then he can come home and get into anti CRT and rant about 'wokeism' and run for school board.

Edit: in a small town you realize oh s*** my username and profile pic are identifiable to people who know me I better change them immediately after posting this.

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Jul 21, 2023Liked by lyz

Lyz, have you watched Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar??? I haven't seen the Barbie movie yet so can't say how it compares, but Barb and Star is a completely deranged romp of a movie that is just incredibly fun and delightful. Absolutely a blast and worth watching again and again.

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Ahhh! How could I have missed the basketball playing dogs! I must have just assumed that there was something in the rule book that said that dogs can't play basketball

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Jul 21, 2023Liked by lyz

Gym Class's attitude is my new goals.

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I am going to see Barbie tonight with my friends and I CANNOT WAIT! BARBIEEEEEE!

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A fine example of the weekly dingus.

I know I am not the norm, but I didn't get married until I was 35, and I lived alone for a long time, so laundry, cooking, vacuuming, dishes, and the like were all things I just did. And I do now. In fact as I type this, a load of darks is spinning and a second load will go in soon.

Also, I worked my way through school as a chef, so I do 99% of the cooking too.

Dale Earnhart Jr is a fucking asshole. Mr. Bluey is doing it right

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When my first son was born in the 90s, my sister sent me a book on fatherhood written by David Blankenhorn of the Reason Foundation. Among his main points was the best thing a father could do for his children was to model hard work by working long hours away from the house. Real fathers, it would seem, don't do child care. I was blessed to have a job with flexible hours that allowed me to take a different path.

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OMG....the Key and Peele video. I love them so much.

And anyone who has complaints about Bluey is a communist....lol. Seriously though, I'm old enough to remember when men were bitching because shows like The Simpsons were portraying dads to be complete dumbasses.

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Such a great read today (frankly, they all are, some just hit harder). IN the spirit of the list of small town violence, we just binged (Amazon Prime) Deadloch-it is a wonderful fem forward, queer affirming and generally brilliant script and acting romp to binge. Lots of douchey men getting their comeuppance. Highly recommend it!

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I love this piece and upgraded to paid because it’s bang-on. Thank you for writing !

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I have watched exactly one episode of Bluey during which it is a Very Hot Day and Bandit takes the kids to a pool. Before they leave, their mum, Chilli, says she's too tired to go and asks Bandit to make sure he has All The Things for the Kids, which he fobs off. So the day at the pool goes sideways pretty quickly because Bandit made the assumption that his CHILDREN should be completely and utterly self-sufficient, but he also didn't even consider what his needs might be (sunscreen and WATER ffs). Anyway, Chilli saves the day because she realises they left everything behind and she does all the labour to bring the things. It felt a lot like the show was *trying* to make a lesson for dads but still fell short because the ultimate conclusion was: MUM WILL FIX IT!

Anyway...glad to hear the show is improving in being explicit about the message that fathers ought to be parenting better.

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I find it so strange that men who think like Earnhardt just assume they will have fulfilling relationships with their children when those children are adults. The fact that I can't recall a single time when my father played with me or took me to do something without my mother is definitely a factor in the distance between us. Perhaps it happened sometimes, but the fact that I can't recall them says a lot. The opposite is true of my memories of spending time with my mom when I was growing up.

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I loved everything about this newsletter! And Maggie Rogers is the best! I love her dancing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFyugATLM78. We need more Maggie Rogerses, Bridgett Everettes, and Chilli Heelers and fewer Dale Ernharts!

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