Things I Did On My Staycation
Air fryer is a verb now
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Air Fryer cinnamon rolls.
Google “How is Pitbull doing? Is he happy?”
Air Fryer chicken wings.
Become Queen Bee on the NYT Spelling Bee four times in a row.
Outline an entire novel about a couple who meets in the comments of the NYT Spelling Bee and fight over words.
Air Fryer pork butt.
Have a dream that I move myself and my kids to a cabin in Montana and the oven is a convection oven. In that dream, a man becomes condescending to me about my joy over the convection oven. So I kick him off my property and threaten him with a shot gun. My mom comes to visit and tells me that I need to return to the city. I also run her off with a shot gun.
Go on a long walk listening to a podcast about old Hollywood. Learn that Scarface is a remake.
Lay in bed and drink wine and watch the original Scarface and cry.
Begin Googling “Ann Dvorak.” Become obsessed with Ann Dvorak.
Air Fryer coconut shrimp.
Make a spicy margarita with serrano peppers.
Text my friends to let them know Mr. Worldwide is busy and happy.