Dingus of the week: Pete Hegseth

And his mom

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Trump’s nominee for the role of secretary of defense, Pete Hegseth, does not believe women should serve in combat roles. Which is an interesting position given that he has his mom out there fighting a proxy war on his behalf.

In 2018, after Hegseth fathered a child with a Fox News producer while still married to his second wife, his mother, Penelope, sent an email to her son in which she called him a man who “belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around and uses women for his own power and ego.” She claims she has since apologized and that he’s a changed man. She is currently doing a press tour on behalf of her son.

This same son has also been accused of sexual assault — a charge that was dismissed by the police, but the victim and her husband sued Hegseth. The case was settled with an undisclosed payment.

This son has also mismanaged a veterans’ nonprofit, racking up such a significant amount of debt, that it had to merge with another group.

According to a New Yorker investigation, former employees under Hegseth accused him of creating a toxic work culture of sexual harassment and retaliation for people who speak out. Already kind of an issue in our military! Nearly one-quarter of women in the military report having experienced sexual assault, and more than half report having experienced harassment. Putting Hegseth in charge is like letting a fox guard the henhouse or in this case, a dick guard the cock house.

Hegseth has also said that women aren’t qualified for combat. But ALLEGEDLY women have to fight off his sexual advances nearly every day. Is that why he doesn’t want them getting combat experience?

It’s all a lot of big talk from a guy who now has his mommy fighting a PR war for him.

As part of the damage control, his mother went on “Fox and Friends” to state, "Pete is a new person. He’s redeemed, forgiven, changed. I think we all are after seven years," she said, again calling her son a "changed man."

Penelope, ma’am, the blood of the lamb can cover some sins, but not that many. Even Mary let Jesus hang on the cross of his own making.

Are these people confused about what the Department of Defense does? It’s for our country’s actual military, not a PR shop for whiny white guys with fascist haircuts. At this point, Hegseth isn’t qualified to run a carnival ride, much less the Pentagon.

People often express concern about raising a daughter in this world — it’s so scary, it’s so dangerous. But the danger isn’t some nebulous unseen force; the danger is the sons. There’s a reason an entire genre of horror/thriller novels focuses on how scary it is to have a boy child. (Saving Noah, Defending Jacob, We Need to Talk About Kevin… the list goes on.)

Everything in this world wants to imbue our white sons with power and a false sense of accomplishment. And all too often the idea of what a parent's love should be involves protecting them from the results of their actions. But I think loving your kids actually means letting them face consequences and holding them accountable. Not holding your sons accountable strips them of their humanity, and that’s not loving at all.

There is a scene in The Omen when the father realizes his son is the spawn of Satan and has a chance to take him out, but he can’t. He falters. And then Damien continues to wreak horror. That scene is a parenting lesson. If you know your kid is evil incarnate, you have to take them out. And Penelope, girl, I am so sorry, but you raised a walking fascist haircut who believes we need to start the Crusades 2: 2 White, 2 Furious. That’s not a mother’s ideal outcome.

Live shot of Penelope Hegseth on Fox and Friends.

Penelope, your son’s other primary defender was accused of choking his wife.

Maybe you love your evil son. It happens. But that’s when you go make the Bates Motel with him like a normal twisted family; don’t try to usher him into the Department of Defense.

I really am sorry you raised a man so abhorrent that even Newsmax is rooting against him. But ma’am, the guy is so repulsive that the Koch brothers washed their hands of him. He’s a man so sauced at all times that even his Fox News colleagues were worried. And, baby Jesus forgive me for quoting this guy, but in the words of former dingus winner David Frum, “If you are too drunk for Fox News, you are very drunk indeed.”

Pete Hegseth is so vile that he makes Ron DeSantis look like Hawkeye Pierce.

Hegseth has promised to stop drinking if he gets to run the Pentagon, but I think the rest of us will drink more.

Runner up: United Healthcare

This week, United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson was shot in what appears to be a targeted murder. The alleged gunman has not yet been caught, but the internet has responded to the news of the death with the rage of people who know what it’s like to fight an insurance company to cover the cost of basic care.

Gizmodo reported:

A Facebook post by UnitedHealth Group, the parent company of UnitedHealthcare, said it was “deeply saddened and shocked at the passing of our dear friend and colleague Brian Thompson.” But that post has garnered over 11,000 laughing emojis as of the time of this writing, far outweighing the more somber emojis used to express condolences. Comments have been turned off for that post, but shares included comments like “I would offer thoughts and prayers but they are not covered as they are out of network.”

I do not condone murder or vigilante justice. Let’s be very clear about that. But I do think that the seething collective rage that is boiling over right now in response to this tragedy is remarkable.

The frustration and indignity of fighting for access to the medicine and care that will help you live is wearing down every American. We all feel like victims of a hit-and-run by the uncaring and impersonal system that fails to see us as people only as dollar signs. I remember my sister being bankrupted at 18 because she had the audacity to survive a car accident. I remember still bleeding out of my birth canal calling the insurance company sobbing, asking why we were being charged thousands of dollars for two epidurals when I only got the one. Most Americans don’t have the funds for a $1,000 emergency, which in this country could simply mean breaking your wrist while sledding with your kids. We have to crowdfund our cancer treatments, begging strangers for donations so we can live.

UnitedHealth has been accused of using an AI algorithm to deny benefits to sick people. The algorithm had a 90 percent error rate, and a pending lawsuit against the company alleges that UnitedHealth was aware of that fact.

Violence is more than just interpersonal violence. Violence is the daily existence in a system that makes you constantly fight for your right to make your own reproductive choices, fight to justify your gender expression, fight to be happy while people with actual power casually discuss your right to exist, fight to get your basic needs met — and that’s a violence so many of us feel right now.

We live in a country where our voices aren’t being heard and our political, medical, and educational systems are operating with the benefit of the bottom line rather than our well-being, and that too is violence.

Relatedly, in the wake of the story, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield reversed its decision to cap anesthesia coverage. But just the fact that they thought they could and should cap anesthesia coverage is evidence for how vile the healthcare system truly is.

Time to vote for dingus of the year!

It’s time for the fourth annual dingus of the year round up. Fill out this Google form to vote for your choice for dingus of the year!

You can also relive your favorite dingus of the year round-ups from 2023, 2022, 2021, and 2020.

And here is a list of all the dinguses over the past four years!

And now for something good

Vito the pug is the national dog show winner! Friend of the newsletter Josh Gondelman wrote an incredible newsletter about Vito and it includes some wholesome good things if you need them.

Chase Strangio is a lawyer arguing against trans healthcare bans at the Supreme Court. Strangio is the first openly trans lawyer arguing before the Supreme Court and is a voice for good in this wreck of a country. Read his essay in the NYT this week.

Chelsea Manning and others led a protest against trans bathroom bans at the capitol.

What I am enjoying

The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are always a little brutal. And I am at the point in the year where I am fantasizing about a hospital stay just to find a reason to rest. (If only I could afford one. “Lol.”) I am so burned out from this year, in good and bad ways. And I am ready to just crawl into a hole and not emerge until February.

I can’t. But in the meantime there is ham.

My friend Megan Greenwell wrote a book about the scourge of private equity and how it’s ruining America. And in the process, she kind of ruined my love of Jimmy John’s.

As a result, I’ve been on a quest to find a delicious local sandwich from a place not run by a private equity firm. It’s been a little tough. A lot of places in town have some pretty bad sandwiches or aren’t open during the day. Some sandwiches have good meat, but cheap flimsy bread. Some have good bread but pathetic meat.

This journey is not over. And I am going to expand my search.

But this week a friend made me a sandwich. He made it with a good baguette, olive tapenade, balsamic vinaigrette, ham, swiss cheese and greens. It was so simple and delicious. (Although I did add garlic salt on the next iteration.) And I really loved it. Just a sandwich. Just a simple delicious gorgeous chewy, ham sandwich.

Anyway, if you all want to know, this was my No. 1 song on my Spotify wrapped. And I was a little embarrassed by it because I had a big breakup during the book launch this year because the person I was dating at the time became angry at the book’s success and took it out on me. Which was both ironic (if you’ve read the book) and simply exhausting (if you’ve ever been an ambitious woman). And, I coped and healed by listening to country music, as a lady is wont to do. And as a result, this became my rage song. I was going to take this secret to my grave, but when I told a friend my truth, she was like, “Girl, this is a heterosexual anthem of the year.”

So here it is. My vulnerability. My blood. My heart. My No. 1 song of the year.