The Fyre Fest of the Heartland

The story me and drunken friends yelled at a visitor one time

This weekend I had a housewarming party for my house. I was very worried no one would come. But I bought a dress off of Amazon that’s basically a nightgown, mixed up some boozy apple cider and chili and made my kids clean their rooms. I used to throw parties all the time. I love people. I love feeding them and shouting with them in my house. I love it w…