Dingus of the Week: The Dingularity
Dingus of the Week: The Dingularity
It's a black hole of digusry and we are all getting sucked in
Welcome to the Dingus of the Week. The Friday newsletter in which I make fun of someone or something in the world that is sucking our will to live. Then I round up some good things and share a drink recipe. The dingus is in its third year now, and more people are relying on the Dingus newsletter to help them lance their brains from the infected boil of the weekly news. Others, silently shake their heads in concern about my mental well-being.
This week, on the Discord server, that place where all paying subscribers can go to hang out and talk about gas station pizza and the great Taco Tuesday wars, user Harry Baals (that’s right, we are adults in there) came up with the term “dingularity.” The dingularity is a term describing the epic dingusry of a person or event, that sucks so much life and meaning from the world that it becomes a black hole of idiocy—the dingularity.
Caitlin then created this graphic and emoji to go with it.
If you haven’t guessed, the Flyover Politics Discord is an incredible place to be. (This is your pitch to join in, now!)
This week was filled with a black hole of digusry so consuming that we all have no choice but to log off or get sucked in forever. Which is why it’s nice we have a long weekend. Maybe we can all eat a few hot dogs and do a hard reset on our brains.
This week, during a debate on the House floor, former Weekly Dingus winner Marjorie Taylor Greene, banged a gavel and demanded decorum in the House. In response, all the Democrats burst into laughter.
As Rep. Jared Huffman stated, "Irony died today on the House Floor, but comedy triumphed as the GOP chose MTG as their keeper of "decorum."
Greene, as you may recall, heckled the president during the State of the Union address, and harassed her colleagues in the press including Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and Jamaal Bowman. She has also harassed a Parkland Shooting survivor. She penned a conspiracy theory about how space lasers caused the California wildfires.
When I wrote about Greene two years ago, I noted, “I know Disney villains who have more pathos than this woman. If you told me today that Greene stole 101 Dalmatian puppies so she could murder them to make a coat, I’d ask you when she started becoming so likeable? The only exciting plot twist will be to see how much worse it gets. Watching Greene is like watching the final season of Breaking Bad, except the haircuts are worse and you are rooting for the meth.”
Well, plot twist! Space Laser Cruella just called for decorum.
And in doing so, she opened a gap so wide in the dingus-time-space continuum that is sucking in not just light and energy, but irony, and my will to do anything except escape to the woods and lay down on the ground and become moss.
Listen, when a space laser wearing a pride flag as a cape walks into a school and forces children to do TikTok dances until they drop, then I will take her call for decorum seriously.
But for now, Greene calling for decorum is the stop-hitting-yourself brand of politics we have come to know and love from America.
Marjorie Taylor Greene calling for decorum is like Mark Zuckerberg asking you to protect his privacy.
It’s like a Pokemon judging you for naming your kid Madysen. Oh really, Gorlax? What were you named after? A laxative?
Che Guervara complaining about the tax rate
The Kool-Aid man asking you to please just knock before you come in.
Clarence Thomas asking you to please remember to report all financial gifts you’ve received from a man who collects Nazi memorabilia.
Gannett saying they’re gonna save local journalism.
Phillis Schlafly filing a Title IX lawsuit.
Logan Roy drinking out of a “World’s Best Father” mug.
It’s the pot looking at the kettle and asking it, “Why are you so round and hard?”
In sum, it is the dingularity.
And Now for Something Good:
During the weekend of June 9-11, a group of newsletter readers (and friends) will be running a relay across Iowa. The group was put together by the incredible Beau Anderson, who is an Iowa native now living in Connecticut. Our team is named High Fructose Corn Sweat, and if you’d like to support us, we have an Amazon wish list of things we need for the race.
But more importantly, we want to use the race to help raise money for the Iowa Trans Mutual Aid Fund and One Iowa. As you know, bodily autonomy is under attack in Iowa. The right to medical care is being taken away from trans kids, queer books are being banned in schools, and Iowa’s governor signed a bill forcing people to use bathrooms that align with their assigned gender at birth.
A lot of our team members are part of Iowa’s LGBTQ community. And the rest of us are big fans. So we are running for them and with them and hoping to support other queer people in the state.
If you want to show your support, you can donate to the Iowa Trans Mutual Aid Fund here, or One Iowa here. Both groups are doing the work of lobbying to combat bills that infringe on human rights and providing aid and care for the people who need it. Please be sure to say you are donating to support our team High Fructose Corn Sweat. We want to be just a little bit of good in this world.
This year, this newsletter community has raised over $3,000 for Iowa Trans Mutual Aid so far. So thank you!
And one more good thing…West Virginia adopts Iowa State softball as their sport. Good things ensue.
What I Am Drinking:
Every year since about 2018, my town of Cedar Rapids, has held a cocktail competition, where local bars and restaurants can gather together, make a cocktail based on a theme, and people can vote for their favorite drink. I’ve been going to this event on and off since it began. I first went in 2018 with my friend Kristie as a way to celebrate completing edits on my first book. On Tuesday, Kristie and I went again to celebrate turning in copyedits on my third book! It was, as always, very fun.
One of my favorite drinks had a bergamot bubble on it that popped and gave the whole dright a light herby flavor. The drink was made by the geniuses at Caucho, one of my favorite local restaurants, which is now under new ownership.
But I need to have a serious talk with the people of this world: Stop putting cereal in drinks. Do you hear me? It’s disgusting. I’m literally still reeling from a drink I had that had soggy fruity pebbles mixed in. I don’t remember what it was called but Kristie and I started calling it “Trash Island” because on the top was a goop of melted cereal and a small plastic duck.
That was basically all the drinking I did all week. It was enough. But Kristie shared a drink with me, that I am now sharing with you. It’s called the Spaghett:
You grab one bottle of Miller High Life (I know this drink is very fancy). Open the bottle up, pour out a bit of the High Life, and pour in a bit of Aperol. Then, top with a squeeze of lemon. I bet it would be great with Modelo too.
Just when you think the champagne of beers can’t get any fancier! Enjoy it this weekend.
Tina Turner died this week. She was the best to ever do it. And man, could she do it. Here is the interview where Mike Wallace asked her if she deserved her beautiful life and she said, “I deserve more.”
And here she is singing “Proud Mary.”