53 Comments
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Avraham Bronstein's avatar

"Can’t make an omelet without starving a few kids, right?"

Especially when that omelet costs $10 to make!

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lyz's avatar

Good one. I should have had you do punch ups on my copy.

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Avraham Bronstein's avatar

I'd love to!

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Beau!'s avatar

One thing I'm looking forward to in 2025 is the big things in store for DOTW!

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Melanie's avatar

Can we have dingus of the day? Of the hour? Because OMG Chuck Schumer… Also swim fast E!

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DB's avatar

AOC clams it’s not too late to hector Schumer into doing the right thing. Honestly, I don’t know what the right thing is, but I will be calling him again.

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Karen's avatar

Chuck Schumer, all the spine of a jellyfish but none of the sting.

He’s almost too pathetic to be a dingus. He would need more energy and courage. Can we make him Wuss of the Week?

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lyz's avatar

Oh god yeah that news came out last night and I emailed my editor and we lamented that I didn’t have time to change the dingus! Next week, Schumer. Next week!

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Melanie's avatar

I mean who can keep up when literally every person in the news is a dingus?!

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DB's avatar

This was an awesome column and much appreciated, Lyz! The breathtaking stupidity/cravenness/greed of these folks is just astonishing to me. I must be naïve. I keep thinking we’ve hit bottom. Meanwhile, in Sweden, 70% of the citizens surveyed said they did not trust that the US would come and help if Sweden was attacked by somebody outside of NATO. Women were the most skeptical. And Finland is establishing 300 grocery stores to act as crisis centers in the case of a crisis a.k.a. war. Is anybody tired of winning yet? I hope Musk is. I’m really curious about when mainstream media is going to acknowledge Trump’s cognitive loss. I wonder how many suicides have taken place/will take place as a result of the job loss and the end of programs feeding people. As well as the number of companies that will go out of business and nonprofits that will have to shut their doors. It’s just super super painful and I’m not even in the country. Hang in there everyone. Sending you virtual hugs.

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Mary Hart's avatar

We really need those hugs. I keep telling my cousin in Sweden to spread the word that we're not all horrible here 😭

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greta's avatar

thank you for the hugs. we need them badly!

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EricaR's avatar

One of your DOTW criteria - how many jokes you can come up with - is gloriously evident here. Rollins wasn't my nominee, but I can't argue with your choice - hilarious! Also, of course, given the times in which we live, sickening, disheartening, and unspeakably horrible. The ability to see and laugh at the absurdity is critical - a brief oasis in the desert of Tworld.

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lyz's avatar

Ha! Thank you for remembering my criteria is just “what works with my brain today?”

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Laura's avatar

Excellent, hilarious article about disgusting, garbage people - as usual! How could anybody have voted for this? How could anybody see what’s happening and think, “Yup, this is good”? I will never understand.

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Kris Jackson's avatar

I had a REALLY hard time voting. Elon is an evil blip, but the Supreme Court is forever… argh!

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Beau!'s avatar

Feel free to vote as many times as you like! I also think I may bring the two losers from this round back duke it out for turd place as part of the final round of voting.

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DB's avatar

I have enjoyed voting more than once. It’s the only modest form of control I have related to these dangerous dinguses

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Mary Hart's avatar

I didn't know about the evil dingusry of this week's dingus, so I want to say thank you for keeping me informed, but also rage-laughing-crying on a Friday morning is weirdly cathartic. These people truly suck but this community reminds me that many, many people don't. Fight the powerful! Eat the rich!

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Tristen Bonacci's avatar

No, no, no, Mary. “Eat the babies!” That way, we won’t have starving children. Haven’t you read Swift? 😉

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Feral Midwest's avatar

Impeccable DOTW choice as always. I was already planning to scale up my backyard veggie garden (bc RFK + HHS = probably Super E. coli) but now I’m adding plots for food pantry donations. The walking pilonidal cysts currently in charge, I swear.

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Joan's avatar

Honestly, who needs agriculture? Rollins and the market will fix it. I’m just back from visiting snowbird friends in Ron-DeSantis-land where restaurants apply a $.25 surcharge to each egg on your breakfast plate. Can’t wait until there are surcharges on the fruit garnishes in adult beverages. Because Agent Krasnov/the White Nigerian Prince and friends are in charge.

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Giuliana Amidala's avatar

RE: Agent Krasnov. In the late 1980s, Trump was trying to roll over the loans on his properties. The problem was that Trump and his mentor/lawyer, previously the rabid attack dog of the McCarthy hearings, had screwed and/or sued everyone they'd ever done business with including the banks and finally they said no... but Uncle Vlad was there to bail them out and naturally Uncle Vlad said "Однажды я, возможно, попрошу тебя об одолжении..." As every police show ever preached, follow the money.

Hypothetical: If you were Putin and you wanted to destroy the US without fighting a war that you might well lose, who would you want in the White House and the cabinet? Just asking.

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Sarah's avatar

My personal tin foil hat conspiracy that I have no said aloud before right.....now.... is that the guy making the EDM remix of government takeover is the brother of Luigi Mangioni or whoever the CEO shooter. They just have that same carved-from-marble Italian look.

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Sarah's avatar

Also, I emailed my Senator just now to say if they can't call for a shut down to force restoration of funds for farmers and school kids NOW, then what is the point of an opposition party.

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Kate Stone Lombardi's avatar

"I’ve coughed up mucus more coherent than that." Greatest hit contender.

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lyz's avatar

Thank you. If you can't tell I've been fighting off the world's worst cold and using the neti pot so I've been contemplating mucus more than I'd like to admit.

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Kate Stone Lombardi's avatar

Hope you feel better soon.

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Jessica's avatar

Good luck to your daughter! Thank you for being your refreshingly brilliant self.

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Gregg Meluski's avatar

Another round of the world's worst game show: "Will they figure it out?".

Pulling the menstruation study is just a way to harm women and enable industry (two for one!) while using trigger words to keep their supporters engaged and enraged. Some of the mouthpieces are so bad at constructing the cover stories.

And yet people are still buying this bullshit. I have to give credit to the left, at least everyone across the spectrum wants to egg Chuck Schumer right now.

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lyz's avatar

Which is a huge insult because throwing one egg costs $10.

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Gregg Meluski's avatar

😂

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greta's avatar

cheering your daughter on!

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