Dingus of the week: Men telling Angel Reese to be humble

What in the Sue Bird is this nonsense?!

This is the Dingus of the Week, the Friday newsletter where I make fun of someone or something in the news making our lives a little bit worse.

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This week, as I was traveling back from a literary festival at Western Carolina University, I stopped at an airport bar in DFW to eat a large, overpriced plate of meat and some watery and overpriced Old Fashioneds.

The waitress seated me at the bar next to a damp-looking businessman who within two seconds of me sitting down made it known he was a runner and had missed his flight because he was so busy. The other guy near me seemed like a dad and was wearing Wisconsin apparel and so, in order not to be ax-murdered while he listened to Phil Collins, I turned to that guy and we began chatting about basketball. 

Within the first few minutes of our conversation, he began reaching over to pat my arm and informing me that Caitlin Clark had made women’s basketball good. And it had never been good before. And also, he wanted me to know that he thought Angel Reese needed to be more humble.

Like from what poisoned well did this man draw his bucket of audacity? Like what in the Sue Bird? This man deserved to be Rebecca Lobotomized. 

Whenever men suggest a woman should be more “humble” it means he wants her to shut up about how she’s better than him. Also, sir, there is absolutely nothing humble about Caitlin Clark. NOR SHOULD THERE BE. So sorry, Angel Reese is out here being great, she doesn’t have time to worry about your past-the-expiration-date skim-milk cottage cheese of a personality.

In a recent NPR interview, Sue Bird pointed out how those attitudes kept women from playing sports:

"Society loves to give young girls and young women opportunity and promote that and support it," Bird said. "But something about when they become women, it feels a little less supported."

Bird noted that the WNBA players represent "every marginalized group that exists today."

"We're Black, we're women, we're gay," she said. "And those are the groups that are held back in our society. And so I don't think it's a coincidence that the WNBA has been held back in that way."

I told this man as much. I told him that women’s basketball was great before he paid attention. It didn’t just become great because he decided to watch it. Like, fellas, if a woman is good at basketball and a man doesn’t see it, does that mean she needs to get back to the kitchen?

What gives these rotting potato heads the right to talk about how women’s players need to be “humble”? Sir, your polo tucked into your khaki shorts means you need to be humble. Meanwhile, those women can do whatever they please.

I love Caitlin Clark. She’s an incredible player. And the way she’s changed the game has opened up the sport to thousands of new fans. But do not pretend like women’s basketball was just invented. Women have been out here doing the work since before this man could figure out how to weaponize his incompetence.

In a column for Andscape, William Rhoden points out that with the rise of women’s basketball has come a rise of racist language used to castigate Black players while uplifting white players. To be fair, this is the language of fans and commentators. The players themselves are doing their best to resist the stereotypes and misogyny. Rhoden calls out a column that was published in The Los Angeles Times that called the Iowa team “America’s Sweethearts” and the LSU team the villains. In a line that’s been since removed, the author wrote, “Do you prefer America’s sweethearts or its dirty debutantes? Milk and cookies or Louisiana hot sauce?”

Rhoden draws on a history of racist language in sports analysis and concludes.

The only narrative should be competition, not a manufactured morality play of dark vs. light, black versus white.

Since last year’s confrontation with Reese, Clark, the projected No. 1 pick in the upcoming WNBA draft, has gone out of her way to praise the LSU star. She points out that all of the attention is great for a women’s game that is on fire. Clark is great for the game. Reese is great for the game. Mulkey and Staley are great for the game. What’s not great for the game is mindless commentary that draws on racist, misogynist tropes to make a cheap point.

The language that Rhoden is calling out is pervasive in conversations about women’s sports among fans, who want women to be humble in defeat and loss; to show emotion, but not too much. In a recent local broadcast, a sports reporter was cloying and condescending to an Iowa player talking about how nice it was that the girls shared the ball. Like, yeah, sir, that’s how the game is played.

People fixate on the smiles. Or the grimaces. Others have taken to speculating that some players are trans.

It’s exhausting to know that even at the top of their game, these athletes can’t escape racism and misogyny and transphobia from people who can barely dunk an Oreo, much less a ball. 

And now for something good

• Newsletter subscriber Becky G. got a new job and I think that’s worthy of good news.

• A truck carrying salmon crashed, but a bunch of the salmon jumped into a nearby river and made it out alive. 

• FREE GOATS!

• The solar eclipse is on Monday! Time to re-read this Annie Dillard classic.

• Do you know who Chappell Roan is? No? Well, meet the Midwestern pop star.

Dingus Madness Finals

In the final matchup of our dingus madness tournament, we have Mitch McConnell vs. the Supreme Court. It’s a head-to-head match-up of people who use their power to take away yours. Who’s done the worst? GO VOTE!

What I am drinking

I had a difficult week and didn’t really drink much more than a glass of wine or two. I found myself in the center of online backlash over my book, which resulted in people digging up pictures of my kids and sharing them online. There were other things too. Things I am not going to share too much about, except to say being the lightning rod of male insecurity does take a toll sometimes. 

And I am tired. I canceled a trip next week because I feel bone-weary and I just want to curl up in bed and watch Girls5eva with a bowl of pasta.

I find that in these moments, avoiding alcohol is the best course of action. So, I plan on drinking nothing this weekend except a lot of water and coffee. I’m taking my kids to go see the eclipse on Monday. And if you’ve read my most recent book, you know that I am obsessed with the night sky and seeking and reclaiming darkness. I wrote about my night sky obsession in an essay that I published in 2019 and adapted into a chapter in my book. 

I want to say something wise here about darkness. About the way we need it. About the way we can learn from it. About how in it we find rest and wonder. But all I can tell you right now is that I’m still finding my way.