This is the weekly dingus — the Friday newsletter, where I talk about something really dingusy in the news, then share some links and a drink recipe. You can find all the past dinguses here. More and more people are relying on their weekly dingus newsletter for a bit of levity in These Times™. Subscribe and never miss a newsletter!
If I were rich, I’d finish my upstairs bathroom and put a pool in my backyard.
If I were rich, I’d hire a dog trainer to help me with my 2-year-old Alaskan malamute puppy so she stops eating donuts off the counter. The little dog is ungovernable. So no dog trainer for her.
If I were rich, I’d take lots of trips to see friends across the country. I’d host myself a very lavish 40th birthday party this December. I’d hire an assistant to help me manage everything.
If I were rich, I would self-fund a magazine for long-form stories about the Midwest told with humor, insight, and really good writing. Kind of like a Texas Monthly, but for Iowa. I’d also pursue some stories I want to write that require travel and resources that I don’t have yet.
If I were rich, I’d take my kids to Paris next year, and I’d take myself to some fancy island this Christmas. I’d buy a very nice purse, and I’d log off Twitter for good and write my books in the quiet of my house and write checks to places and causes I care about.
If I were rich, I most certainly wouldn’t use the force of my money and fame to go after trans people and then, when I received pushback on how my words and actions put a vulnerable population at risk, write an entire 1,024-page novel depicting myself as a victim.
Which brings us to, J.K. Rowling who dingused herself that classic way, with a few very dumb tweets. In Rowling’s case, her tweets attacked the idea that trans women are women and the idea that only cis-gendered women menstruate. Trans men can menstruate; they can have children. It’s fine. Leave them alone.
And Rowling’s rhetoric isn’t just a difference of opinion. A study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law found that “transgender people [are] over four times more likely than cisgender people to be victims of violent crime.” This year so far, Human Rights Watch has identified at least 27 trans people who were victims of violence. And those are just the reported stories.
When faced with criticism, Rowling has doubled down on her transphobic views and cast herself as a victim of woke social justice mobs for boldly telling the truth. Except the “truth” she tells is about identities that are not hers to define.
The latest instance of doubling down happened this week with the release of her book The Ink Black Heart, which depicts a cartoonist who is found dead after being attacked by an online mob and accused of transphobia. The book is about 200 pages shorter than most Bibles and filled with fictional tweets. Rowling has insisted the book isn’t about her life and said that most of the events of her life that parallel the book’s material happened as she was writing. Still, it’s like ma’am quit nailing yourself to the cross, even Jesus got off after a few hours.
It’s the standard cycle. Punch down. And then, when you are accused of punching down, declare yourself a victim, a casualty of the woke wars. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
NPR had a very good rundown of the issue this week. In its story, NPR quotes Lark Malakai Gray, co-host of the queer Harry Potter podcast The Gayly Prophet, who noted,
“[Rowling] has published a 1,000-page self-insert fanfiction where she’s the victim—it’s the kind of behavior that you’d expect from a petulant teenager, not a grown adult with immense wealth and power,” he added. “I have no idea what she expected, but seeing the internet fill with jokes about the book has been an absolute joy after all the harm she has caused my community over the past several years.”
All the criticism, of course, won’t stop Rowling. Hate has and always will continue to be good business. It’s the standard cycle. Punch down. And then, when you are accused of punching down, declare yourself a victim, a casualty of the woke wars. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. It’s a grievance culture that attracts a huge following of like-minded people who feel entitled not just to their opinions but to the idea that they should be able to shout those opinions without any recourse or anyone saying, “Hey, please stop punching me.”
Imagine holding someone in a chokehold and then declaring yourself the victim when they ask you to let them breathe.
It’s not just Rowling out there profiting off of this cycle. It’s a good media business too. Our culture, it seems, is at the mercy of the righteous rage of the morally wrong.
But, I promise you, if I were rich, I’d be very good at it. I’d just get a pool and post vacation pictures on Instagram. I might even try to have a disastrous relationship with someone seedy, just for the gossip fodder. The only punching down I’d do would be on the mayor of my town.
And Now for Something Good:
Sarah Palin lost a special election for an Alaska House seat. Palin lost to Alaska Native Mary Peltola, who will become the first Alaska Native in Congress. Peltola also flipped the seat which had been held for nearly 50 years by GOP Congressman Don Young.
More good news. Seems like a movement is afoot. I talked to Tom Bonier, CEO of TargetSmart, about the rising number of young women who are registering to vote before the midterms.
Great news! Women are ruining America. We did it, Joe. Keep up the good work, ladies!
This week, the town of Sheldon, Iowa, brought the world delight when they, in true Leslie Knopesian style, lost their town’s time capsule. But they found it. And in keeping with Iowa traditions, they’re claiming that everyone blew it all out of proportion and they knew where it was all the time. Which I’d buy if I didn’t live in Iowa and haven’t seen leaders play down actual natural disasters as no big deal.
Serena Williams! That’s it. That’s the good thing.
What I Am Reading:
There once was a lawmaker in South Carolina who saw the harm that abortion bans were doing to women…and he voted for one anyway.
Josh Gondelman took a vacation to the metaverse.
Ashley Judd wrote about her pain over her mother’s death, the fight to understand what happened, and her public life.
Sarah Vowell wrote about the specter of civil war and living in a red state. She concludes that America is more like 1850 than 1861 and compares Liz Cheney to Millard Filmore, someone caught between extremes who makes no one happy.
Speaking of a politician caught in a mess of their own making: This is your reminder that I wrote a long profile of Chuck Grassley.
Not to be overlooked, but when I talk about the problems with ag and the stranglehold of corporate interests in the Midwest, this is what I mean.
What I Am Drinking:
I haven’t been drinking much these past few weeks. My go-to nightly drink has been lime sparkling water with a couple dashes of chili bitters and a slice of lime. It’s very good. And I highly recommend it.
This weekend marks the end of the summer and that means it’s fall. And in the words of Moira Donegan, “Hot girl summer is over, it’s time for Practical Magic fall!”
In celebration of the fall, I will be drinking an old-fashioned with brown sugar. This recipe suggests muddling the bitters and brown sugar with a tsp of water. I will be making a brown sugar simple syrup with a bit of vanilla. Basically, it’s a one-to-one ratio of brown sugar and water, heated up in a pan until the sugar dissolves. Then you add in vanilla. I never measure vanilla because I am not a fun hater.
Housekeeping:
I’ve been told I should have told you all that Substack has an app, which according to some subscribers is great and easy to use. Other subscribers have Android (like me!) and are salty that the Android version of the app hasn’t been released yet. Discussion about the app caused a huge rift between Apple v. Android people on the Discord. A fight only comparable to the Pepsi v. Coke fight of a couple months ago. And if you want to know what side of that fight I’m on? Well, I’m pretty sure if you drink Pepsi, you did Jan. 6.
Anyway, get the app. Or don’t.
Also, I will be in conversation with REBECCA SOLNIT on September 29, 2022, at the Coralville Public Library. The event starts at 7pm.
As the mom of a trans man whose entire early childhood revolved around Harry Potter, can I just say, J.K. ROWLING CAN GO FUCK HERSELF. Not only because she betrayed and hurt my kid, who loved her work, but because she put me in the position of having to listen endlessly to the latest play-by-play of this week's horrible thing she did, detailed by a highly emotional kid with limited social boundaries. As in, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, Joanne, your shittiness is going take over my kid's brain and thus my life and I'M SO TIRED OF IT.
Go find a remote island to buy like any self-respecting billionaire and stay there silently stewing (I SAID SILENTLY, DAMMIT!) about how misunderstood you are until you croak. Please and thank you.
EVEN JESUS GOT OFF AFTER A FEW HOURS Lyz I am howling!!!!