This is the Weekly Dingus, the Friday newsletter that makes fun of something dingusy in the news. Shares some links and a drink. More and more people are saying that the dingus is the best part of the week. Subscribe and never miss one.
On Thursday, Queen Elizabeth I, who ruled the United Kingdom for 70 years, died in order to distract from Steve Bannon turning himself in for arraignment. STAY WOKE!
The Queen died just one day after meeting Britain’s new prime minister, Liz Truss. The election of Liz Truss enacted a little-known British law that states only one Liz can rule them all. Kind of like the Dalai Lama, but for Lizes. It’s worth pointing out that I knew about this rule because in the 6th grade, when I changed the spelling of my nickname from Liz to Lyz, I accidentally became the arbiter of all Lizes.
The Queen is being mourned by everyone. Including former dingus award winner Kim Reynolds, who tweeted her condolences because the world was waiting to hear what the governor of Iowa thought about the passing of the monarch of a foreign nation.
Speaking of Iowa, we passed up a huge opportunity to declare the corn kid Corn-Bassador of the state. We got scooped by South Dakota. That’s okay, apparently we have Busch Light pizza. And this just goes to show that unless it’s white and beer adjacent, Iowa won’t celebrate it.
Back to the Queen. In honor of the Queen (and because my brain is broken from book edits), I am declaring today a National Dingus Holiday. And instead, I am rounding up some of the best jokes about the Queen, which I found on Meghan Markle’s internet. This year, I did a DNA test and was shocked to learn I am actually 40 percent Irish. So, you must excuse me. This is part of my noble heritage, which I just learned about.
Sorry, sorry, we must respect the Queen.
Also, yes, I am very well aware I’m going to hell. I’ll apologize to to you when I get there. But joining me in perdition will be Rusty Foster, the author of the Today in Tabs newsletter, who wrote this yesterday.
Elizabeth is survived by her three sons, the one who hung out with Jeffrey Epstein, the ginger podcaster, and King The Other One, and also by Henry Kissinger somehow.
But before we plummet to the inferno, where we will spend eternity with Elizabeth, here are some very good jokes that I did not make.
Drew Hammill @Drew_Hammill
Speaker Pelosi has ordered the flags at the U.S. Capitol to be flown at half-staff due to the passing of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Also, a new queen just got crowned.
And you know what? What the hell. We actually do have a dingus. And it’s this guy. I’m just imagining all the Brits reading Andrew Sullivan’s outpouring of grief like, Sir, you don’t even go here.
Anyway…
What I Am Reading:
This story, written in 2017, is a fascinating look at all the things that will happen and are happening when the Queen dies.
Two journalists who I love and admire met while covering the Unite the Right Rally and fell in love. They got married this month. And oh my god, is there something in my eyes? Just allergies.
Also, a bunch of rich people are preparing for the apocalypse by building very complex bunkers. And not by, you know, actually trying to stop the apocalypse.
Five Thirty Eight compiled a list of candidates on the ballot across the country and where they stand on Trump’s claims of election fraud.
The LA Times had a good look at this fragile moment in American politics.
Amy Littlefield has this in-depth story on what happened in Kansas over abortion rights.
People who identify as rural are often not living in rural places. I identified this in my book and called it an agrarian mindset. Remember, identity is often about belonging and exclusion.
Also, an Iowa corrections officer was on a list of Oath Keepers. There are probably many others. Because, as per the story, many members were kept off official lists. Some of those that work forces…etc.
In this newsletter, Eve Ettinger wrote an explainer behind the “groomer” moral panic.
What I Am Drinking:
Last week, I made an Old-Fashioned with a brown sugar syrup, and I used cocoa bitters. It was absolutely delicious. And it inspired me to go to the store and buy peach bitters and use those with the brown sugar syrup and to make another kind of old fashioned. It’s a wonderful drink. I topped it off with a bit of mint.
Have a lovely weekend!
The passing of Queen Elizabeth II reminds me of this old Eddie Izzard bit. "God Save the Queen"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoa2lzb3Jx8
Takes a special kind of dingus to earn DOTW even on Dingus Holiday. Well done.
Now for something fun: The hospital whose emergency room I have landed in the last two times: It’s the one where Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s daughter was born. Go figure!
I am playing the organ for a couple selections at my Unitarian church on Sunday (it it rare for a Unitarian church to have a pipe organ) - I will be playing “I Was Glad” by Charles Hubert Hastings Parry on Sunday - both in honor of the Queen, and it is also a prayer for peace (social justice and peace goes a long way with us Unitarians) - the text is Psalm 122 (although a typical Unitarian Universalist [UU] will ask, “What’s the Bible?”) - but it is a fun and regal piece of music.
I may not be keen on the Monarchy, but one thing I liked about Queen Elizabeth is that she was a mechanic in World War II. Even Charles, as unliked as he is, was in the military and a helicopter pilot. Like the royal family or not, in my book, the fact that these two were not afraid to get their hands dirty says a lot.
That said, I think the monarchy is an outdated concept, but I am a rebel, so of course I think this!